Something in Your Eyes
by Liquid-Goddess-Reformation
Summary: Slightly AU. Eventual KakaIru. Numerous hardships brought them to this point. Kakashi didn't want to take them on, his broken mind couldn't take it. But something in his eyes made him change his mind. It was something in his eyes...
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

**Something in Your Eyes**

_(By LGR)_

**Chapter Prologue: Shattered**

"_I'm not as strong as you think I am…"_

_--- _

Hatake Kakashi silently stood in the late morning light.

The rays of the sun were diffused by a thick cloud cover and a light, grey mist and even murkier clouds could be seen marching across the horizon along with a chilly south-easterly wind, further darkening the landscape. The shinobi watched the memorial stone, making no movement except for the occasional stirring of his silvery hair in the harsh breeze.

During the day, no matter what he was doing, whether it be household chores, training or mission-work, Kakashi did not allow himself to remember his past: it only got in the way of his activities. Over the years Kakashi had grown very good at forgetting and purposely pushing back information to the recesses of his thoughts where they couldn't interfere with his functioning capacity.

It was only in the mornings, at this place, that he allowed himself to look back. Sometimes he wished he could somehow acquire amnesia and start his memory afresh. Then he wouldn't be practically phobic of doctors, he'd never catch flack for being late all the time, he probably wouldn't avoid social contact and he might even stop reading _Icha Icha_ and never be accused of perversion again…

Okay, well maybe that wouldn't happen.

But all those little things that had integrated themselves into his behavior, those tinges of memory he had never been able to completely push back…they would be gone.

He'd think about it. And for a brief second, he'd want it. But then the price of that freedom would waft to the forefront of his mind and Kakashi would bang his head on the closest hard object. All the people he'd lost: Yondaime, Rin, Obito…_Him_…

They deserved to be remembered.

Even _Him_…

…

* * *

_(…seven year old Kakashi stopped dead in the doorway of his house: that dark, silent house, which he and his father shared; that house that housed two ghosts._

_His father stood not far from the door, the light from outside showing a silver-haired man sweating blood, shaking and staring fixedly at the blade of a wakizashi. Upon seeing his son enter the house, he looked up. Younger grey eyes met older, and in that second Kakashi was afraid. _

_Kakashi broke the silence, asking, "O-Otou-sama? W-What are you doing?" He couldn't help it. He wanted to be wrong despite that fact that he wasn't. Kakashi was never wrong in his approximation of a situation. He was a genius shinobi. _

_Last night, they'd had a strange conversation as Kakashi came home and met his father in the dinning room. The two never talked, and the sudden broach of tradition had confused the boy. Even more confusing were his father's words:_

"_Kakashi," Sakumo had begun, his expression far off and his voice hauntingly even, "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough for you: It's all my fault. I hope you can come to forgive me."_

_He'd always blamed his father for his situation. Because Sakumo had failed to follow shinobi code, he'd failed an important mission, and everyone in the village hated him. They hated him and they hated Kakashi because he reminded them of his father. _

_On the surface, Kakashi was distant and unemotional with Sakumo, just like everyone else was. But in that secret part of his heart, Kakashi could tell himself what he wanted to say: It's not your fault Otou-sama. I want to keep blaming you but I can't. I don't. _

_Kakashi was shaking at his place in the doorway. He didn't want to be alone. If his father was gone, he'd be alone. All alone. His father was the one who made his life the way it was; the reason he was alienated. But even so he was all Kakashi had, and he loved him._

_His words from last night wafted into his mind so swiftly. He'd been so frightened this was going to take place, his usual shell broke like the pale façade that it was._

"_No, Otou-sama…" he'd pleaded, without really understanding how he knew this was it, "Don't go…stay, please, I need you to stay with me,"_

"_You're stronger than me Kakashi. You'll be able to go on. Not like me."_

_Yes, like you. Everyone always tells me we're the same. Everyone's always looking at me and seeing you. _

"_No…I can't." This couldn't be happening. It was a nightmare. A horrible nightmare._

"_Yes…you can. Son, I love you." The muscles in his throat were clenched. Kakashi could barely keep himself from breaking down in front of his father. His father who thought he was so strong._

_He'd went to bed as usual, but by dawn he'd already arrived at the hospital and told them what had happened; how he thought his father was going to commit suicide. People he didn't know, who didn't even know Sakumo, much less cared about the traitor to the village, were sent out that morning to assess his mental health._

_Kakashi had been a nervous wreck all day, just waiting for the ANBU squad training exercises that day to be over. The Doctors had already sent a note to him telling him that his worries were unjustified. But he couldn't help but think something was wrong, something was terribly wrong._

_He'd known this was going to happen. He should have done more, should have done something. He'd thought the doctors could help… _

_Even know, he wasn't sure if he'd actually seen the stroke, or only imagined seeing it. But he couldn't shake the vision of the rising the wakizashi; it's metallic sheen refracting the light from unclosed shoji screens. _

_Kakashi had wanted to cry out but the short sword, guided by the hands of a master of the art of death, found its mark._

_Maybe he'd seen it himself. Maybe not. _

_But it had felt real._

_Blood. Blood everywhere. Blood on his face from sweating blood. Blood on his hands from making the wound. Blood on his clothes. Blood on the floor._

_In the midst of it all, Kakashi barely managed to choke out: "I love you, Otou-sama." _

_Strangely, as if he'd heard his son's admonition Sakumo's face held a smile. The closest thing to an untroubled expression he'd shown in years, to the first time his son had shown him open love in what seemed like forever…_

_But even that fact, couldn't change the blood. There was just so much blood…)  
_

* * *

… 

…"Kakashi?" a voice called to him but he couldn't respond; he was too caught up in the memory…

…

* * *

_(…They had the same face. His face. They were the same. His Otou-san had been strong and he'd still succumbed to the call of death._

_They had the same face but they were not the same…)_

* * *

… 

…"Kakashi! Kid!" the voice called again, this time accompanied by footsteps making their way to his location…

…

* * *

_(…they were not the same. Kakashi wasn't his father. He wasn't as strong. Sakumo had said he was stronger. But he wasn't. He couldn't do it. He couldn't go on. He wasn't strong enough. His Otou-sama had been wrong…)_

* * *

… 

…"Kakashi," it was Jiraiya, but Kakashi still didn't speak…

…

* * *

_(…Blood. There was too much blood. Blood on his father's hands. Blood on his own…)_

* * *

… 

…"Snap out of it!" The Toad Hermit reached out to shake the ANBU's shoulder but upon the close proximity, Kakashi suddenly reacted with blinding speed, grabbing onto Jiraiya's reaching arm with one hand, while with the other he simultaneously pulled from his hip-pouch a double sided kunai. Kakashi came to his senses before he managed to put into action a throw-down move using the apprehended hand, but it was lucky that his interrupter had been the Toad Hermit himself. Anyone else would probably have been stabbed, but the Sannin had easily snatched and held back the weapon-bearing hand.

Kakashi stopped dead, momentarily ceasing all movement, even breathing, except the uncontrollable shaking of his hands which had immediately lost all muscle tension, making their ability to hold onto their respective objects near impossible. Jiraiya slowly backed away as the double-sided Kunai fell from the silver-haired shinobi's grasp.

After a second he suddenly gasped, taking in long harsh breathes.

"Damnit, damnit_..." _Kakashi cursed as he tried to pull himself together.

Jiraiya let loose a sigh and a slightly worried expression directed at his former student's protégé. Kakashi could only wonder why the hell the old man was so worried about him when Jiraiya had been the one attacked. Sure he was one of the Sannin, but with the way Jiraiya was always going on about how the silver-haired shinobi had the potential to out due him, one would think he'd at least have been nervous.

Then again, it was probably hard to be scared of Kakashi when he was trembling like the frightened child he'd never been. It was a good thing that no one else was here to see this, although he didn't care about his reputation, he might be put under suicide-watch or in group therapy sessions or something.

He _hated_ doctors.

"Another memory?" the pervert asked.

"Hai," was all Kakashi said.

Jiraiya looked like he was considering hauling the other ninja to the interrogations office and making Morino Ibiki rip the full story out of him, but the pervert seemed to realize that probably wasn't the best way to remedy the situation and instead kept silent. The two shinobi stood in front of the memorial stone without speaking, Jiraiya pretending to examine the surroundings as Kakashi used meditative breathing exercises to calm his quaking.

"So, Jiraiya-sama," Kakashi said suddenly, his voice now holding his usual languid tone, "What brings you out to see me?"

Jiraiya inwardly smirked. The brat had dodged further discussion by acting as if the incident just now hadn't even happened. There was no fucking way that such a reaction as the one the Sannin had just barely managed to anticipate had been from nothing. Sure it was Jiraiya's fault for interrupting a shinobi in the middle of a flashback-experience, but there was no way that was a healthy behavior; not as often as Kakashi had them.

The pervert gave the other man a stern glare, hoping to guilt him into dropping some kind of an explanation, but Kakashi only tilted his head innocently.

The kid wasn't going to spill. Not that he should have expected anything less.

The toad hermit didn't believe for one second that Kakashi was okay, but if that was how the kid wanted to play, then so be it; the younger shinobi had always been a loner who kept his true thoughts and feelings so far hidden that looking underneath the underneath _still _wasn't deep enough.

"See _you_?" Jiraiya responded, feigning confusion, "I just wanted to get away from that old lady's yakking!"

Kakashi rolled his eye, "Hardly," he stated matter-of-factly, "You knew I'd be here. So you must have come because you want something from me."

"_Underneath the Underneath_, huh?" Jiraiya smirked.

Kakashi's visible eye curved in amusement as he corrected Jiraiya, saying "More like the _Obviously Obvious_."

As if by some secret queue, both men left the memorial stone area and began walking back to the village, Kakashi taking the opportunity to reach into his Flak jacket and pull out an orange book: _Icha Icha Tactics_. Jiraiya's expression changed to a perverted grin at the sight of his novel, which Kakashi promptly ignored.

"So, kid," the toad hermit began. Kakashi didn't remove his eye from the book but Jiraiya knew he was listening, "Remember how I told you that Tsunade-baba was looking for an ANBU-sensei to train these three Chunin as new operatives?"

"And I suggested Yamato," Kakashi responded, eye narrowed in suspicion as he glanced from his book's pages to Jiraiya, "He's good with brats: As patient as a tree."

"These kids don't need patience, Kakashi. They need someone who'll kick their ass and take them to the next level, not coddle them. Yamato's good, he was your student and you know him even better than I do: He's just not what we're looking for. Not as a full-time teacher, he's unable to take the proper risks with young people to allow then to mature properly."

The ANBU sighed miserably, making Jiraiya feel slightly guilty about what he was about to ask, "What the hell do you want _me_ to do about it?"

"Obviously you're not looking underneath the underneath, Kakashi-kun, or you'd know already," he teased, hoping a lighter atmosphere would help with the somber expression that was already breaking his resolve.

For his part, Kakashi did _not_ like where this conversation was going in the least, "Oh, I'm looking," he admitted, "I just don't like what I'm seeing."

"Kakashi-kun, you're the best we've got and you're a damn good teacher," the Toad Hermit declared, trying to persuade the silver-haired shinobi.

"'Damn-good teacher?'" Kakashi scoffed, somehow feeling (and looking, Jiraiya was having a major guilt-trip), more despondent than even before.

Thinking about his past always made him feel rotten. Thinking about his past students made him feel dead inside. Had Jiraiya even _looked_ at his track record? Obviously _not,_ "What good have I ever done by any student I've ever had?" Kakashi demanded to know, but immediately regretted it. He shouldn't have asked that question, he could already see the wheels turning in his companion's head: _Don't bring up Itachi, don't bring up Itachi…_

"You taught Yamato and Itachi—" _Fuck._

"And look what that got him?" Kakashi interrupted his voice tinged with regret and not a little bit of anger, "He murdered his clan and ran off to the Akatsuki."_ So NOT a good reflection on me as a teacher…SO not…_

"But you brought him back," Jiraiya countered.

_Yeah, he knew he was going to bring THAT up…_

"Not because he wanted to come, I can tell you that," Kakashi really did _not _want to be talking about this. He was only supposed to remember in the mornings; he was done. He supposed to be able to relax for the rest of the day…

…

* * *

_(…Kakashi stood exhausted and injured over a pathetic looking Uchiha Itachi. The once genius ANBU squad leader lay incapacitated, bleeding from one eye and immobile from multiple broken bones and lacerations quickly costing him minutes of consciousness…)_

* * *

… 

…_Fuck_, _not now!_ Kakashi tried to hide the fact he was swaying, as he brought a pale, mostly glove-covered hand to the hitai-ate covering his Sharingan eye. It was _throbbing_…

…

* * *

_(…Breathing hard from the battle and shaking from the Mangekyo Sharingan: Tsukuyomi Genjutsu Itachi had inflicted him with, Kakashi dredged up the strength to grab and violently shake Itachi, hoarsely screaming into the Konohagakure missing-nin's ears: "God damnit Itachi! What the hell were you thinking? Why, why did you DO that?"…)_

* * *

… 

…"Yep," Jiraiya agreed with pride in his voice, oblivious to Kakashi's predicament. He barely heard as the pervert continued speaking, "You dragged him kicking and screaming back to Konoha, after giving him a thorough beating for his idiocy: If he'd known about his family planning to turn traitor, he shouldn't have taken the situation into his own hands. He should have informed the Hokage."…

…

* * *

_(…Itachi raggedly sucked air through his probably punctured lungs. Without even the strength to look into his former teachers face, Itachi managed to speak, his lips quivering from the effort as he defended, "You weren't there Kakashi-sempai, you didn't see what they were going to do to Sasuke-kun…"…)_

* * *

… 

Kakashi shook his head to clear his mind and before Jiraiya could wonder at the action said, albeit shakily: "Exactly. Even with all my emphasis on teamwork, he still went rogue," the sadness was radiating off the shinobi in waves, the shame unable to be ignored in his tone of voice, "I failed him as a teacher."

Jiraiya noted that Kakashi really knew how to make someone feel like crap. He didn't even seem to notice he was doing it.

"You didn't mess him up Kakashi-kun," Jiraiya explained gravely, "It was that damn family of his. You're the one who saved him."

Kakashi looked away, "Jiraiya-sama, I'm not that great: _He_ was way better than I'll ever be." No need to explain who _he_ was, Jiraiya already knew.

"Bullshit," he said, "You're better than Sakumo—" (_flinch_), "—ever was; you've just got all this baggage weighing you down. I swear one of these days you'll kick my ass and we'll see who the Village's best ninja _really_ is."

Kakashi's demeanor sunk to an all time low, as he whispered suddenly, "Best? I'm the worst. I knew it was going to happen and I still couldn't do a thing…"

This was serious, Jiraiya tried to comfort him, "We've went over this," He said quietly, "Kakashi-kun, you couldn't have known—"

"But I did. I did know. And I just let it happen. I saw it all…"

They walked along in uncomfortable silence, Kakashi going back to his book after a span of glazed, wide-eyedness that he was sure was another tramatizing memory hovering to the surface.

Jiraiya stared off into the distance as they went, then suddenly said as if off-handedly: "They passed Sandaime's bell test."

Silence.

Kakashi looked up from his book to stare hard at the Sannin, "Who gave them the bell test?"

"Me, obviously," Jiraiya snuffed then turned to the silver haired ninja almost pleadingly. He explained: "These kids Kakashi, they've been through a lot together. They remind me of Tsunade, Orochimaru and yours-truly back, in the day. They really make me think of Team Yondaime as well."

"That isn't very encouraging Jiraiya-sama…" Kakashi informed him irritably. He was trying to ignore another memory. The ANBU just managed to mentally beat the flashback into submission with a metaphorical club.

"You'll see." The pervert assured the silver-haired shinobi, "These kids are different. They'll survive where we fucked things up. You'll see."

The utter conviction with which Jiraiya said this caught the copy-nin off guard. Who were these kids to have gained Jiraiya's approval? Now he was curious…

"It seems as if you have a lot of faith in these chunin," Kakashi began carefully, (he didn't want the Sannin to think he was interested after all…), "They're new chunin you say? They don't usually let you into ANBU until you're a Jounin or at least a Tokubetsu Jounin. Usually they shuffle you off to ROOT Division…" Kakashi narrowed his eye in increasing increments, telling Jiraiya without words that he expected a straight answer: no bullshit, "Who are they?"

"I wouldn't say they're new. They have Jounin-level skills even if they lack the experience. And you've already met them at one point or another," Jiraiya said cryptically.

Even so, it was all the explanation the ANBU operative needed.

The ANBU shuddered, "No." he stated harshly.

"Huh? 'No', what?" Jiraiya's eyebrows crushed together in confusion at the single, sudden word.

"No, I can't do it, especially not if it's _those_ three," Kakashi quickly pummeled another flashback into the recesses of his thoughts, tricking himself into forgetting what it was he had nearly remembered.

Feeling himself go weak, he suddenly wasn't that angry at Tsunade for denying him missions on account of mental instability. She was completely correct in her assessment and he had to get out of here. _Now_.

Oblivious to the silver-haired shinobi's internal conflict, the pervert continued, "Come _on_, Kakashi. You're the only one who could do them justice. If you don't accept, we can't allow them to join ANBU. We can't let them go through ROOT, it would destroy them," the Toad Hermit pleaded.

"No," Kakashi told him with an air of finality, and then, placing his book back into his flak jacket, he formed a seal with his hands and vanished in a poof of white smoke.

"Damnit," the Sannin groaned: he'd failed in his mission, "Tsunade-baba's going to be pissed at me. Not to mention the kids…"


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

**Something in Your Eyes**

_(By LGR)_

**Chapter One: Reversal**

"_What made you change your mind?"_

_--- _

The sun slowly sunk below the tree line of Monument Rock.

Downtime was such a…well, such a downer. He had nothing to do but laze around his apartment eating cup noodles and binging on cookie-doe after increasingly depressing visits to the memorial stone. Luckily Tsunade hadn't made him go to the hospital

But Damnit, that old hag wouldn't give him anymore missions. Not that he could really blame her; his condition was so bad that even he had to admit it would be dangerous for him to be on even the easiest of missions. It was actually rather understanding of her to allow him to keep living on his own and not subjecting him to hospitalization. But then they both knew that would probably make him worse.

Jiraiya had come again today, besides the time this morning, trying to get him to take that mission-from-hell. He made the most ridiculous claims, saying that it would cure both his flashbacks and his boredom. He was very insistent on his accepting the call to educate: telling him he'd told the kids they would be starting training tomorrow. The shinobi didn't believe either argument for a moment and refused a second time. Doubtless the Sannin would come again the next day...

Jiraiya was well aware of Kakashi's…issues…even if he didn't know to what extent they actually plagued him. So, how could Jiraiya ask him to do something like that? Kakashi had history with those kids: the Sannin knew that. He knew better than anyone what kinds of things were hidden deep beneath the silver-haired nin's façade of normalcy. (It was a pretty crappy façade, if he did say so himself, but a façade none the less.)

Sad thoughts. Dark thoughts not meant for others to know.

But the Sannin simply knew _about_ them. He didn't understand them. Jiraiya _thought_ he understood Kakashi. But the older man really didn't. Sure he'd had bad experiences as well, some as terrible as his own, but these things affected people differently, and there really was no way for another human being to ever completely understand another.

The idea would have been laughable if it weren't so frightening.

Him, train Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura? Who the hell thought up that brilliant idea? It would never have worked even if Kakashi had said yes. It would have been a collapse from the start because in one way or another, he'd already failed them all, and you can't undue what's already been done, they called it the past for a reason. You had your choice, and you watched it pass by, never to return again.

Who made this system? Seriously?...

…Kakashi brutalized a would-be hallucinatory flashback as his Sharingan eye started to ache, and it only grew worse as the moments inched by. He began to feel lightheaded and dizzy from the pain of his Sharingan and he considered taking painkillers, but then he remembered that Tsunade had confiscated all his medication since the last time he'd accidentally over-dosed. He wasn't even allowed to have cough-syrup. If he wanted something to dull the pain then he'd have to go to the shinobi medical facility and answer a crap-load of uncomfortable questions as to why he needed it.

Like hell he was doing that.

Since a bad experience with doctors directly after obtaining his Sharingan eye, he hadn't allowed any doctor to so much as give him a physical. If any physician or medical-nin, but _most especially,_ the civilian doctors other than Tsunade so much as looked at him sideways, he was _out of there._

Suddenly the sunlight disappeared as its source finally dipped below the horizon. Looking into the darkness seemed to ease his discomfort and he finally felt that he could get up without falling back down. He hated to admit it, but Tsunade definitely had his condition pegged.

A blustery wind shook the trees and he rose from his spot in front of the memorial stone. Sleep was one place where he could usually find solace. In fact, Tsunade had prescribed it to him. Sleep and rest…

He set off down the path to the village proper, in search of his bed.

---

Yes…

Today was the day…

The Day…

That he finally began…

"ANBU TRAINING!" Uzumaki Naruto screamed in joy to his mirror. Although the Chunin's reflection looked back at him just as excitedly, the piece of furniture itself was silently telling him to shut the heck up. Naruto, however, didn't pay it any mind. The mirror was furniture after all: its opinion didn't really matter. And besides, Naruto didn't trust its judgment after the mirror had sworn (to _god_ no less!) that Naruto would never even graduate the academy. Haha, fat lot it knew!

"Oh yeah, mirror, you _bet_ your ass I graduated from the academy! I also passed the chunin exam _and_ now I'm in a special ANBU program and I got to skip the ANBU-Root Training! Take _that!_ Nyah!"

Naruto stuck its tongue out at the mirror, which was not at all amused by the teen's behavior and metaphorically snuffed. Naruto just grinned back at it before a piercing beep from the microwave told him that his instant ramen was done. The mirror glared again as Naruto blew it a raspberry and walked out of his room.

The Mirror silently hissed: The nerve of some people!

---

Uchiha Sasuke stared at himself in his mirror. Suddenly, he changed expression. His eyebrows squished together ever so slightly.

_Evil Glare!_

Good. He composed himself again, before changing his expression yet again by letting his eyelids fall slightly.

_Indifferent Glare!_

Perfect. He let his facial muscles relax, before raising his left eyebrow and scrunching his right.

_Annoyed Glare!_

Okay, that was enough of a warm-up: now for the real test. He breathed in serenely, preparing himself.

Quick! Ino just tried to hit on you!

His face flashed _Indifferent Glare!_

Look! Your new ANBU-sensei is being a bastard!

His face changed to _Evil Glare!_

Hey! Naruto just called you the Angstiest Angsting-Angst that ever Angst-Angsted in the history of Angst!

Quick-shift _Annoyed Glare! _to _Indifferent Glare!_

Bonus! A Rabid fangirl just raped you with her eyes!

_Terror-Inciting Glare_!

Hah, and he hadn't even practiced that one…He smirked at himself in his mirror. Oh yeah, Sasuke was _so_ ready for ANBU-training.

---

Haruno Sakura, tied her hitae-ate on her head, using it as a headband to tie her hair back. Examining herself in the mirror, she winked.

Yeah, that looked hot. Okay, now for what she should wear…

Looking in her closet, she pulled out a black shirt, a pink skirt with slits and buckles, Black nylon shorts for under her skirt and elbow bands that matched. Now for the foot-wear…

Sakura pulled out a pair of cute, strappy-sandles and another pair of knee-high black boots with buckles. Setting them next to her clothes, she glanced from one to the other, trying to decide, but it was so hard: they both looked good!

Putting on her outfit, she put a sandal on her left foot and a boot on her right and compared them. Waa, She still couldn't decide!

I am black, the boot told her smugly, it's very slimming, and besides, it's the color of Sasuke's hair!

The sandal wasn't impressed: Slimming? You go on her foot, slimming doesn't matter. And besides, Sasuke's not a love interest anymore, he's a good friend, like a brother!

Cheh! The boots scoffed: he's still hot. Besides, I have buckles and buckles are HOT.

Oh yeah? The sandals retaliated, well I have cool straps, it said, and everyone knows straps scream sexy. Besides, you have a higher heel than me, it will hurt her feet.

I have foot support, and a thick heel, YOU on the other hand, have a little stick-heel. Not at all good for physical activity. Besides, everyone knows, that strappy equals slutty!

Do Not!

Do Too!

All the hookers wear strappy-type things!

All the goths wear buckle-type things!

Um, _no_ they don't. And besides, Sakura would rather look like a goth than a hooker. Wouldn't you?

"Um…yeah." Sakura said lamely, not really understanding what was going on.

Besides, the boots added, Sasuke is angst and likes that gothic stuff I'm _sure_. So he would definitely approve...In a brotherly way, of course…And I'm HOT besides...

The Sandal voiced its disagreement quite harshly, but Sakura wasn't paying attention, she was already sold.

"…yeah…yeah, _yeah_!" Now she was smiling, "You're absolutely right! Boots it is then! Buckles are _sooo_ HOT!" chucking the sandal for the other boot, she completed her ensemble, winking at herself in the mirror.

Oh yeah, she looked hot.

It wasn't long before she found herself walking along the path to the fourteenth training field. She was mentally congratulating herself for choosing the boots, (they were the right choice), when Naruto waved at her from a converging path.

Smiling, Sakura waved back to her long-time teammate in the black and orange sweatpants and sweater set. She used to see Naruto as an annoying little idiot, but they'd both grown up and understood each other better and got along quite well.

It also helped that he didn't have a crush on her anymore.

Even though she WAS hot…

Another path met the one she and Naruto were walking, and Sasuke joined them. He jerked his head, as if to say "what up", and his two teammates responded in kind. Sasuke was still an Angsty-bastard (as Naruto would say), but he had mellowed out a little and would occasionally argue playfully with Naruto, as well as easily working with his other teammates. Sasuke was like the brother she never had, the same as with Naruto. Together they were a family.

Of course, Naruto was the orphaned kyubi-no-gaki, still hated and scorned by most of the village, had a ninja academy sensei as an adopted father/brother, was trained by the great Jiraiya and had the ability to summon Gamabunta, and had a ramen obsession that bordered on the ridiculous.

Sakura had learnt medical techniques and ninjutsu since before she could remember, was raised by her jounin medical-ninja half-sister Rin who died on-mission, and was taken in by Tsunade-hime, now Hokage as well as the best medical-shinobi in Konoha history.

Sasuke's brother was a former ANBU trained by Hatake Kakashi (the infamous copy-nin and top ANBU op.), Itachi had then murdered his family and ran off to the Akatsuki (only to be brought back by his teacher and slammed into jail), once he realized it was planning on making a deal with an unknown shinobi to give Sasuke's body up for possession, as well as living his life in his brother's shadow, and being lied to as Orochimaru took Sasuke in for his own purposes before everyone realized he was the evil would-be Sasuke possessor.

So yeah, it was a family. A slightly strange and dysfunctional family, but any was better than none. And all preferred the former to the latter. No family sucked to the extreme; they'd all experienced it.

It was silent for a couple of yards, as they all walked to the rendezvous point with their as-yet-unknown ANBU-sensei.

"So," Naruto said conversationally as they walked along, "Either of you sleep last night?"

"Nope," Sakura admitted, and though it was against her normal behavior, she chirped happily almost jumping in anticipation, "I was too excited!"

"Me neither," Sasuke agreed, wearing the _ZOMG I'm not Glaring!_ expression that he only showed to them.

"Yeah, I was up wondering who our sensei would be!" Naruto informed them, "Iruka-sensei didn't know, and Jiraiya-Ero-Sennin won't tell me anything! I didn't even see him yesterday, but when I asked before he would just keep bitching: _'Nyah-nyah! I'm busting my ass to get this guy to say yes, so you better do well yack-yack-yack!'_ you know: the _usual_," they winced (Yes, unfortunately, they did know), "So Sakura-chan, how'd it go with Tsunade-baachan?" Naruto asked.

She sighed shrugging, "Same deal," she said, "Tsunade-sama won't tell me anything either. But whoever it is must be a pain-in-the-ass, because she actually broke-out the imported Vodka last night and Shizune had to stop her from drinking all the alcohol in the house."

Naruto winced, "Dang, that bad?"

"You have no idea."

At this point, he didn't _want_ to know, "Wow…" Naruto commented gravely, his eyes glazed over staring into space as if he were visualizing the horror and finding it more than he could take. Physically shaking the images from his head, he continued, "Well anyways, how'd asking your big-bro go, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "He didn't know much. He's in a cell-room looked over by a bunch of ANBU-guys in case you didn't remember. Besides, they don't talk about anything with him," Sasuke shrugged, almost as an afterthought adding: "He did have a list of people it could be, though," then pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and showed it to the group,

"Well, that's more than either of us managed to get! Now we're talking!" Naruto readily snatched the paper from Sasuke. All three of them hovered over the paper as the kyubi-no-gaki unfolded it; even Sasuke who had supposedly had all night to wonder over its contents.

"What is this a list _of_ exactly, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked as they poured over the thirty or so names on the sheet written in Itachi's clean and crisp handwriting. About seven of which had been neatly crossed out with a single line.

Sasuke shrugged, "Just any ANBU that Aniki could think of that might take us on. He had to cross some names off though, because he remembered they were either dead or not taking students."

Running his eyes over the paper scrupulously, Naruto nodded profoundly at it before turning to the Uchiha next to him, "Sasuke-kun," he began seriously, "Your Aniki writes like a girl."

Flashing _Annoyed Glare!_ Sasuke mumbled "You baka…" but was interrupted when Sakura let out a gasp/squeal. Sasuke and Naruto both jumped a foot away from her at the sudden outburst.

"What! What is it Sakura-chan?" Naruto demanded.

"Yamato-san is on the list!" she announced in response.

"Oh wow, really?" Looking at the paper, it proved to be so. "That's so cool!"

They had had a few encounters with Yamato the passed couple years, and he was a _very_ good ninja; absolutely first class. And not only was he _nice_, but like Itachi, he was trained by Hatake Kakashi, only _the_ best ninja in Konoha…

"It would kick ass if Yamato-san was our sensei!" Naruto said.

"But he doesn't exactly fit in with all the clues we've gathered," Sasuke contradicted.

Sakura's mouth twisted into a grimace, "Yeah, I don't see Tsunade-sama downing three shots of Vodka in less than a minute over a conversation with Yamata-san…"

Naruto sighed, "Fine, dash my hopes against the cliff-face of reality."

"We're just being realistic here, Naruto-kun…"

"Yeah, I know Sakura-chan," he admitted then went to look at the paper again, "I don't really know that many other people on the list, how about you guys?"

Sakura shook her head sadly "Not me."

"Aniki described some of them but it wasn't anything overly helpful. Looks like we'll just have to wait and see."

Silence.

Naruto handed the list back to Sasuke for safe keeping and the group started walking again along the path to Training field fourteen.

"So we're really no where closer to the truth than we started," Sakura realized with chagrin, finally breaking the silence. They were all disappointed they hadn't been able to find out who it was ahead of time. It felt like they'd failed a mission.

"I guess not," the blond ninja of the group agreed, "'Cept we're pretty sure it's not Yamato-san."

Sakura sighed, "I don't exactly call that a victory Naruto-kun..."

"Eh, neither do I," he admitted, "Man…it would be so sweet if Hatake-sama could teach us…"

"Aniki didn't even bother to put his name on the list. He said he stopped taking students after him, and that was seven years ago. It's confirmed that he hasn't had a student since. There is _no_ chance that it's him." Sasuke's expression grew wry as he explained, "Besides, Aniki says he's got a lot of issues that make him hard to work with. Hatake-sama still goes to visit him occasionally."

"Do we even know what he looks like?" Sakura mused, "We could meet him all over the place and not even know it…" Turning to Naruto, Sakura asked, "Have you ever seen him Naruto-kun?"

The shinobi shook his head, "Don't think so. But I mean, like you said Sakura-chan, I could be seeing him all over the place. What _does_ he look like?"

"He's really reclusive. I've seen him once though: he went to see my Aniki. But he was in ANBU-gear so I only know he's tall and has spiky-white hair."

"White hair is uncommon, but it's still not much to go on…" Sakura trailed.

"No, it isn't." Naruto agreed a little disappointed, but brightened when he realized they were almost to the field, "Ahh! We're almost there!" turning to the others he looked at them as if he'd just come to an epiphany, "We should _so_ run…" he said.

"Baka. Why do you think we walked?" Sasuke hit Naruto on the shoulder, "We don't want to look too eager."

Up until this point, the trip had been a winding road slightly uphill surrounded by trees, but suddenly the path inclined steeply; they were going up a hill. They all became silent again as they grew closer and closer to their destination. Their anticipation was almost tangible as the field was twenty yards away…ten yards away…five…

They broke over the crest of the hill and walked under an arbor of tree branches, it was finally in sight…

"Ah! Ero-Sennin! What the hell are _you_ doing here! Where is our ANBU-sensei!" Naruto demanded, his finger pointing accusatorily at the toad hermit.

"The bastard's being stubborn!" Jiraiya declared angrily, "I jumped him twice in one day, the idiot looks like a nervous wreck and he still has the stubbornness to say no! That little chit! What kind of world is this when kids don't respect their Eldeeeeeeeers!"

"Wow, Jiraiya-sama's really freaking out today…" Naruto muttered to his fellow teammates, who nodded agreement as they watched the Sannin bewilderedly as the toad hermit rolled about on the ground in sheer frustration, only stopping to damn whoever he was talking about to the lowest circle in hell.

"—And then I come here to tell you three that he won't be here today and you don't show up until _now!_ What is with kids these days? You're supposed to be all excited and dash up here an hour early!—"

"I _told_ you Sasuke-teme!"

"Shut up."

Finally mellowing, the Sannin sighed, "Damnit…" he mumbled, scratching his white mane-covered head while staring at the ground with an irritated face as team seven exchanged worried glances.

"Does this mean…we aren't getting ANBU-training…?" Sakura asked hesitantly. Naruto gasped. No, not after they'd worked so hard…

Jiraiya scoffed, "Don't be ridiculous. You're getting training…I might just have to use the more…" he paused for effect, rubbing his hands together as if he were already plotting, "…devious…of my methods of persuasion…"

"That means it's not entirely legal," Naruto translated, the Toad Hermit objected predictably. Despite this reassurance the look that passed between the three chunin told them all what they thought their chances were: slim to none. Closer to none.

"Will you at least tell us who our sensei is? Or was anyways…" Sasuke wanted to know. Although he tried to hide it, he was just as disappointed as Naruto and Sakura, who had looked ready to cry before Jiraiya had assured them the training would continue.

"Heh, no!" Jiraiya smirked, "Besides, I've still got at least one trick up my sleeve," Queue evil-laughter. None of their fears were chastised. Turning from the squad, he called over his shoulder, "Go home kids, you'll have a sensei tomorrow…one way or another…" and then disappeared.

Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto stared.

"What the hell?" Naruto growled at the now vacant field, "Why'd he use _Touton jutsu: Transparent Escape Technique _for that? Crazy old man! He just wants to look cool…"

Sasuke shrugged, "At least we have another twenty-four hours to find out who our sensei is."

"Or was _going_ to be…" Sakura sighed despairingly, before flopping down onto the grass on her knees, picking at emerald leaves absently.

"Ahh, don't worry Sakura-chan," Naruto bent down to sit cross legged beside her, "Ero-Sennin will kick this guys ass and he'll show up tomorrow. And if that doesn't work, he'll sick Tsunade-baachan on him and she'll eat him up," cracking a huge grin, he gave her a thumbs up, "Dattebayo!"

Sakura couldn't help but smile wryly in return. Naruto always knew how to cheer someone up.

"If we can figure out who it is," Sasuke began slyly trying to keep his expression neutral, while dropping to sit with his teammates, "Then we might be able to black mail him into coming."

"Whoa, Sasuke-kun, tricky. The village is going to say I corrupted you!" the kyubi-no-gaki snickered.

"Nah, if he doesn't want to come, then we don't need him anyway, right?" Sakura smiled.

Sasuke nodded agreement, as Naruto grinned, "Right!" Standing up, the orange and black clad shinobi brush grass off his clothes and Sakura and Sasuke followed. He grinned, "Yeah, let's go get some ramen!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and Sakura smiled, "It's not like we have anything else to do," she admitted with a shrug.

---

It was dawn.

Or early afternoon, take your pick.

Either way, he took his first step out in public (not counting long hours in training fields, at memorial rock or two days ago when the state of his cupboard finally prompted him to fix his food situation,) in the two weeks since returning from his last mission and suddenly finding himself on a forced leave of absence.

Kakashi was an outdoors kind of guy and considered houses very bleak and gloomy; he was hardly ever in his, but none the less, he didn't like being in the public eye. His behavior and habits were considered eccentric and abnormal, and although in theory he didn't particularly care what people thought of him (he read porn in public after all), it was just easier to avoid other people rather than having to deal with them.

Most people learned how to get along with others very early in life. Unfortunately, Kakashi had suffered from the backlash affects of _Imu_: the ritual shunning andneglect performed by the community upon those who brought the village shame. Due to his mirror-like resemblance as well as familial connection to his father, who had been subjected to _Imu_ since Kakashi's very early childhood, no one spoke to him unless absolutely necessary and all the children were discouraged from playing with him by their parents. It was not a happy point in Kakashi's memory…

…

…definitely not a happy time.

Without anyone to share his time with, he had become obsessed with training. By the time he'd entered the academy, not only the children, but the teachers were frightened of his abilities. Everyone either alienated him, or worshipped him. The opportunity for interacting on a personal level was basically nonexistent. Then he'd been rushed through the system, trying to find a point at which he was among equals; where he could learn. He'd finally found it in Yondaime. That man had truly been his teacher in both the way of the shinobi and the way of the human-being. He was someone who could never be replaced.

For this reason, it was often difficult for Kakashi to understand the reasons behind the way other people thought and reacted. He _knew_ people, very well actually, could predict reactions and actions better than anyone. He knew how they thought and acted but he didn't fully know _why_ they did so. It was as if he weren't fully of this world, only watching it as an outside observer, his knowledge coming from carefully calculated examination rather than the instincts and intuition that most took for granted. In what he considered his most lacking area, it was bizarre how he had come to be known as a master of said subject; an adept manipulator who could pull anyone into doing as he wanted.

When he was young, he was always poking and prodding at people with sarcastic remarks and unusual conduct, trying to observe their reactions to all kinds of stimuli in the hopes of if not gaining insight, to at least manage to put up a believable act. He didn't need to put on such shows anymore, but the mannerisms he had invented in those early years had cemented themselves to him, and were now in part a permanent aspect of his personality.

Although, he _could_ be peaceable if the situation called for it…

And he was feeling particularly gracious that day...

Heh, Kakashi was just _not_ a people person.

Looking at the slightly diffused light of the sun, he figured he'd stood in his doorway long enough. Taking that crucial first step into society and pulling out _Icha Icha Tactics_, the shinobi set out along the street, his ninja perception easily allowing him to maneuver the bustling road while not removing his eye from the page (There _were_ benefits to being a shinobi, after all, that had nothing to do with full health insurance and hazard pay). He noticed when passersby (mostly the young and female) glared angrily at him and his choice of reading material: Kakashi would have been annoyed if he didn't find their open disapproval so amusing.

Most civilians and even the younger generation of shinobi in Konoha knew him by both name and sight but didn't always connect the name with the person it indicated. Easily recognizable on the streets once he was carrying his favorite book series, he was usually just _that-pervert-who-always-reads-Icha-Icha-in-public_, and was not connected with the infamous Hatake Kakashi, number-one ANBU-operative, at all. It was bemusing how people tended to forget that once the name of Hatake was a word of the utmost scorn, and how the man who so closely resembled his adolescent-self was only vaguely remembered by the general populous as one and the same.

In other words, hardly anyone knew him. But wasn't that the fate of a shinobi? It had always seemed so to him. As soon as you were known, you were dead. As soon as you made that one, defining choice in your life that revealed to the world what was in your heart, it was over for you. Yondaime, Sandaime, his Otou-sama, Obito, Rin…

…

Saa, he'd come outside to chase away thoughts like these. And look at that, he'd read three pages of _Icha Icha_ and didn't remember a thing. Eh, he'd reread it later when he wasn't so…whatever it was he was suffering from. Distracted, he supposed. Or maybe just bored, strange as it was that he could be too bored to read _Icha Icha_ but it was known to happen on occasion. He _had_ been reading the three books in the series one after the other for two weeks after all…

Looking at the number at the corner of the page, he memorized it before closing the book and pocketing it in the roomy pouch of his flak jacket next to his bingo book. Hooray for paperbacks and their practical-ness. They were cheaper, too.

Seemingly absently, he jammed his hands in his pants pockets and continued walking down the street, drawing absolutely no attention now that his book was out of sight; there was something to be said for the phrase: _alone in a crowd_. Not that it was particularly crowded in the middle of a work/school day.

If anyone had bothered to look at him, to see beyond the first deduction of _'oh, it's just one ninja in a village full of ninja'_, they would have noticed that he looked even worse than a chunin back from his first serious mission whereupon he realized his skills were a joke when it came to the _real world _of combat

Dark circles under his eyes that wouldn't disappear despite his acquired habit of sleeping from dusk till way past dawn when not on a mission, made him appear tired to the bone. A frame that had been skinny to begin with but was now worn away from mental stress caused him to look sickly, as if he were suffering from a case of influenza. The contrast of his extreme paleness against the not-quite-standard issue black shinobi-wear made him stand out even more. And other clues that he was ill or at the very least on edge, like the way he took observing his surroundings to the extreme even in his own village, were perhaps only perceivable by a fellow shinobi, and conceivably not even then.

He'd been walking for about five minutes, his subconscious noting every detail of moment that passed, filing it way into the back his head to be pulled out later if needed, while consciously he was just watching whatever passed immediately before him; his mind in a state of silence. It was in this way that his brain spotted the Ichiraku Ramen Stand long before he reached it, noticed that it was quite empty at this time of day and that no one he knew was on duty at the register, but that was all. He walked right passed it…

Only to backtrack as his sensitive nose caught the tantalizing hint of tasty ramen.

Eh, he hadn't had breakfast (or lunch for that matter), and might as well eat. All alone with Miso Ramen…Hn, it sounded like a good pick-me-up.

Sitting down at the stand and ordering a bowl from a teenage girl behind the bar-like table on the side of the stand, it wasn't long before she smiled and bowed as low as the confined space of the stand would allow her to after placing his order in front of him along with a pair of Hashi.

He didn't usually come to this restaurant for various reasons, mostly because he hadn't had a day off in ages where he felt inclined to be walking around in daylight except to the do the most basic of home up-keeping chores. Nights were easier for him to manage, but a number of people tended to frequent it on nights; people who he tried to avoid at all costs…

Sniffing the dish, he decided that he had been really missing out. Even after a two weeks of 'good' night sleep and regular (if rather basic) meals he felt like crap and Miso ramen sounded so go—

"What are you talking about, sensei? Sasuke-kun's buying, it'll be fine!"

Fuck.

---

Umino Iruka had stepped out of his apartment yesterday with every intention of doing some grocery shopping. It was funny how plans tended to change.

First, Naruto had left sometime before Iruka had woken up, but returned early in the day, dragging his less than cheerful teammates along with him, so Iruka's plans had been delayed. Both Sasuke and Sakura had been loners since their respective families had been killed, and it was Naruto's self-appointed mission to make them lighten up.

Going to Iruka and Naruto's shared apartment and forcing them to assist in the making of a large breakfast for the four had certainly done something to that effect. As the two less ostentatious members of Team Seven had no kitchen skills whatsoever, the ensuing mayhem had made breakfast that morning rather late, and the mess to clean up afterwards was beyond mentioning.

After the kitchen had been restored to its former state of cleanliness, Iruka had finally managed to the leave the three Chunin in the living room, chatting about who their new sensei would be. The three had recently been invited to join ANBU under the condition that they were trained by one of their squad leaders until they reached Jounin status, and they were quite excited although Sasuke tried to hide it. Iruka couldn't help but chuckle as Naruto told his teammates his plan for getting the name of their ANBU-sensei (as he called the elusive shinobi) from Jiraiya. The plan was ridiculous and hadn't a chance of working, but his teammates listened anyways. They knew Naruto was throwing the idea out more for their amusement than for any serious consideration.

The three hadn't had so much luck with their last sensei, Mizuki, had suddenly turned on his genin team members during their chunin exam, forcing them to kill him in order to survive. It was still considered unknown as to why the shinobi had done so, but Iruka was more then certain that the shinobi had been witness to the power of the Nine-tailed fox in Naruto, and had taken the final action on his long-standing prejudice which had made Genin-life for the children beyond miserable.

The three went on to pass the chunin exam, but then spent a few years apart, studying under the Sannin themselves. Jiraiya had at some time been pointed in the direction of Naruto. Sakura had begun formally taking lessons in Medical Ninjutsu from Tsunade who had adopted Sakura after her older half-sister and primary care-giver Rin had died on-mission long ago, and Sasuke had been introduced to Orochimaru had returned from his hermitage much like Jiraiya to take the boy under his wing. It was unfortunate that the legendary shinobi had turned out to have ulterior motives that were less than pleasant…

Iruka still saw Sakura often, as Tsunade had been instated as the Hokage and did not leave the village, but Sasuke and Naruto had been whisked away, and Iruka hadn't interacted with them at all. A year ago, the two had reunited and had since been training together and studying under any Jounin or Chunin they could harangue into teaching them a taijustu move or a set of ninjutsu seals. Upon first seeing the three, Iruka had noticed their solemn expressions, and his heart fell, but not a week after being together again and the three were just like their old selves, if not slightly more mature. Seeing Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura together always made Iruka smile.

Liked he'd said, Iruka had _planned_ on getting grocery shopping done early, as the next day was the beginning of the school year and he had a teacher meeting that afternoon to prepare for it and didn't have time, but as the morning dragged on it became more and more apparent that any hope of finishing before he had to show up at the academy at one was impossible. That being the case, he'd been very thankful that the students were only there half day today for orientation. Hopefully now he could finish shopping.

Finally, back on track, Iruka walked leisurely down the street making a mental list of what he needed to purchase.

_Hmm, Vegetables, I need fresh vegetables, chicken, rice, instant ramen…_ Iruka listed, before he heard his name called from somewhere nearby.

"Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei!"

_Nani?_

Being the shinobi that he was, seeing a person leaping for him sent off more than one alarm in his head, but the realization that Naruto was his supposed aggressor instantly turned them off. Catching him in time to be engulfed by a huge from the teen, he couldn't help but mentally laugh. So much for grocery shopping again…

Seeing Sakura and Sasuke as well just behind the boy, Iruka couldn't help but be curious. Finally managing to remove himself from Naruto's embrace and then a receive a small huge from Sakura and a small smile from the less tactile Sasuke, he finally asked the question that was rolling around in his head.

"What are you three doing here? I thought you had training today?"

He immediately regretted asking; all three faces dropped.

"Jiraiya-sama couldn't get whoever our ANBU-sensei is supposed to be to say yes," Sakura explained sadly as Naruto avoided eye contact and Sasuke glared at the ground.

Iruka felt his heart break at their distraught faces trying so hard to hide their disappointment, "Oh no, he couldn't? Jiraiya-sama's not giving up, is he? They don't have a second choice?"

"They said ROOT division wouldn't be right for us; some crap about a 'specialized learning environment'. They only want one guy to teach us, but not only will Hokage-sama not tell us who it is, but they can't even get him to say yes. Some authority _she_ is. Why can't they just _make_ him do it…?" Sasuke spat harshly, but Iruka knew the anger wasn't directed at him, and not even really at Tsunade-hime, but at their would-be sensei's refusal and the situation in general.

"Don't worry Sasuke-kun, I'm sure everything will work out," Iruka soothed with a calming and bright smile, hoping to quell the adolescents temper as well as his fears.

"Yeah, Sasuke-kun, Jiraiya-Ero-Sennin seems like a dirty old man, but he's surprisingly good at this sort of thing. He'll pull out all the stops to get this guy to agree. He's not at the end of his leash just yet," Naruto agreed with a matching smile and showing a level of maturity that the sensei would have gawked at seeing a few years ago. A nonpartisan observer would have immediately recognized the resemblance between the blond chunin and his former-sensei's mannerisms.

Naruto really was coming into his own.

"Besides," the kyubi-no-gaki suddenly began again, his smile shifting from the calming end of the spectrum to the devious, "Now we have more time to find out the identity of our sensei…"

Nonpartisan formerly mentioned would have remarked that Naruto most assuredly learned such an expression from Jiraiya.

Iruka really should have seen that coming, but despite that fact, it was a full sixty seconds before he could assuage his laughter enough to admit that he was frankly pretty curious himself.

That was all Naruto needed to hear, "Iruka-sensei, its _awesome_!" he began excitedly, "Itachi-san gave Sasuke-kun a list of people our sensei could be, didn't he Sasuke-kun?—"

"Hn," Sasuke agreed as Naruto kept right on talking.

"And Sakura gave us another clue and—"

Sakura's expression was priceless, "Huh? Wait…I did?" she asked completely baffled.

"Uh, _yeah_," Naruto insisted, shaking his head as if his teammate's remark had exasperated him, "You said Tsunade-baachan busted out the imported vodka after talking to this guy. So whoever he is, he's _really_ annoying!"

It was just…too much…

Iruka burst out laughing in the middle of the street.

He managed to stem his chuckles, "A vague list that he may or may not be on and the trait of 'annoying', you've _really_ narrowed it down Naruto-kun, that guy better watch out…" Iruka snickered.

"Ahh, come _on_ Iruka-sensei, stop teasing. It's more than we had when we started out, at least we made _some_ progress! And Itachi-san's list seems pretty accurate, show him Sasuke-kun—" Sasuke reached into his pocket, about to pull out a piece of paper, when Naruto waved for him to stop, changing his mind "—Actually wait, we were going to go for Ramen, how about you come with us Iruka-sensei?"

"Well…" He had all that shopping to do…

"Sasuke-teme's buying."

Well, in _that_ case… "Oh, I suppose I could put off shopping _one_ more day,"

"What the hell Uzumaki," flash Sasuke's _Mildly Annoyed Glare!_ "Since when did we decide this?" Iruka could tell that Sasuke didn't really care about the tab which he probably would have picked up anyways on account of himself being the most financially stable of the group; he just felt he had to at least pretend to be angry for appearances sake.

_Oh, how these three make me smile…_

Naruto just laughed, "Since you were rich! Hehe—Owe, hey!" Sasuke had punched him in the arm. Naruto returned the favor as Sakura tried to break them up.

…_and occasionally reach for the aspirin._

The walk to the Ichiraku Ramen Stand only took about fifteen minutes even at the slow, ambling pace that they set for themselves, but when it came into sight only a few yards away, Iruka stopped dead.

"Naruto-kun, I don't think…" Iruka began, trying to hide his discomfort at the scene awaiting him.

Despite what hearsay and even past experience might have told him about Naruto, the adolescent was most definitely not as imperceptible as he might have hoped at the moment. The kyubi-no-gaki saw Iruka's uneasine right away and hurriedly examined the landscape for the cause while saying, "Huh? You're not thinking of ditching out on us, are you Iruka-sensei?" Sakura and Sasuke had caught on and were looking around too but didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

_Crap._ Think of something, think of something, think of something…

"No, it's just that I realized that…I…_didn't bring any money, yeah_! I left my wallet at the Academy! I should really go get it."

The Sensei mentally winced at himself: it was such a _lame_ excuse. What the hell happened to his trickster-self from his academy days? He used to could look Sandaime straight in the eye and deliver a full-proof alibi on the spot without even flinching…

Naruto wasn't buying it and Iruka didn't blame him, "What are you talking about, sensei?" he rolled his eyes, "Sasuke-kun's buying, it'll be fine!" and the Blond towed him over to the stand with Sakura and Sasuke trailing behind.

Iruka tried to avoid looking at the object of his unease as Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura sat down in a row and immediately began chatting with Megumi the Ramen Girl after placing their orders. The four were regulars and known by nearly every member of the staff and so the manager and cook, Tagaito-san only smiled at the exchange instead of frowning upon the lack of work and professionalism. It wasn't as if it was crowded, anyways; not at this time of day. Maybe it would have made Iruka's dilemma easier if it were.

Trying very hard to keep his gaze from shifting to his left, Iruka came to realize that it had the same affect as trying not to think about pink elephants. In other words, he did it anyways.

Of course being a ninja, his gaze fall on the legendary shinobi directly, but instead on his reflection in a particularly large and shiny stainless steel dish hanging from the stands roof.

Sitting under the arbor of the Ramen Stand only a seat away from them was Hatake Kakashi: S-rank ninja and ANBU operative.

His breath caught in his throat and though outwardly he appeared to be calmly waiting for his ramen, Iruka was on the verge of panic. Would the man recognize him? Possibly. They had only met a few times long ago but ninja tended to have very good memories, and he would expect a genius to even more.

Iruka wasn't sure what would be worse; Kakashi recognizing him, or not.

Turning his attention toward Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura and Megumi, he established that his three lunch guests had forgotten about him for the time being and when the Ramen came, Iruka felt almost too sick to eat, but did so anyways as a cover for examining his neighbor through the reflective surface of the dish.

It had always baffled Iruka how Kakashi managed to remain so mysterious. How Kakashi was able to live his live so anonymously, with few people knowing _for certain_ his appearance despite all the clues that pointed directly to the man only a foot from him. Seen the man from a distance was an uncommon but not unheard of occurrence but no one seemed to make the connection to his name and his actual self.

After scrutinizing the man, Iruka came to the conclusion that he looked _terrible_.

One would never assume that the man next to him was anything special based solely on his clothing which was the Standard Konoha Shinobi-wear aside from the substitution of black sweats and shirt rather than the usual navy-blue. Even though he had hardly known the man, it still gave Iruka pain to see that the clothing hung off of him in a way that did not appear healthy.

Not-quite-as-standard, was the black mask that covered from the bridge of his nose to somewhere below his neck line, disappearing beneath his uniform. No one had seen the copy-nin's face since he had begun to wear a mask, which was a time so long ago no one knew what his true appearance was anymore, and few if any knew as to why he chose to cover it with a black, skin-tight layer of fabric in the first place. Truthfully, masks were not uncommon in the ninja community, but none took it to the extreme that Kakashi had. It was just one more aspect of the man that helped to identitfy him, and it confused Iruka why no one ever pegged him as Copy-Kakashi.

The Man's skin tone had always been almost frightfully pale, but Iruka did not remember seeing the dark circle under the shinobi's visible heavy-lidded, dark-grey eye. The other eye, the _Sharingan Eye_ was hidden by the man's hitae-ate in a style that once again wasn't all _that_ uncommon but rather distinctive none-the-less. Also due to the hitae-ate, was the gravity-defying style of Kakashi's spiky silver hair.

Just the fact that the man sat there, so still that one's eyes just slide right off of him, was stunning. Iruka hadn't meant to avoid him all these years but it had just turned out that way. After all they'd hardly known each other, their only connection being Yondaime, who was now dead. After that day, it had seemed that any relationship they might have had died the fourth him before it had even begun.

They'd never really known each other at all. They'd only spoken on that single occasion. Only interacted on that single day: the day that changed everything…

…

* * *

(…_Umino Iruka, ten year old Genin fell limp into the arms of the two Jounin who had been holding him back from the battle raging on somewhere in the distance. Yondaime had mounted a last defence against the Nine-tailed biju called the Kyubi, banishing his shinobi from the field in order to stop more deaths to his extended-family. _

_Despite the fact that he would be of no assistance in the ensuing battle, Iruka couldn't help but wish that he could be a part of that battle along side the village's most beloved shinobi. Tears flowed down his face as he gave up struggling against his keepers, looking at the far away sun hidden beneath the smoke from a thousand fires set by the Kyubi's red chakra. A low rumbling that reverberated throughout the village and the surrounding area continued on, occasionally broken by a hi-pitched animalistic scream from off into the distance._

_After his parents had been killed in the first attack on the village, Yondaime had taken a personal interest in Iruka, who had grown depressed to the point that he didn't take care of himself and scarcely acknowledged his own existence. In between the few months after the end of the Third Secret Shinobi War, the threat of the Kyubi had weighed on Yondaime, but he hadn't ignored his village. Even though Yondaime had been so busy, he'd taken Iruka out for Ramen more than once, and invited Iruka for walks and meals at his house with him when the boy had felt particularly down._

_Yondaime had taught him to smile again…It was so easy to see why everyone in Konoha loved him so much._

_Iruka slumped down on the fallen remains of what used to be the Eastern gate, and the two Jounin allowed him to do so, knowing the Genin wouldn't cause any more trouble. All three shinobi were focusing on the trail that wound out of sight, hidden by trees and the dense smoke that turned the noon sun into a twilit orange landscape. Ashes were everywhere in inch deep piles, making breathing difficult and the actions of coughing and sneezing to be common ailements. _

_Suddenly the rumbling stopped and all three shinobi looked up in puzzlement. A figure passed the two Jounin and the Genin, so silently they didn't notice until he was a yard down the trail._

"_ANBU-san! You can't go out there!" one of the Jounin informed the shinobi, enhancing his speed to put himself between the figure and the road towards the battle. _

_Now that he wasn't moving, Iruka could see that the person was a member of the Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai or ANBU: The Assassination-Tactics Special Military Force composed of the greatest shinobi in Konoha. The ANBU wore the black garments, white protective vest and silver arm garbs, as well as a porcelain dog mask that concealed his face, but not his silver-colored hair._

_Stopping, the ANBU turned and removed his mask for the Genin and two Jounin. At Iruka's angle, he could only the ANBU's right side, but he gasped. Iruka recognized that sorrowful face hidden beneath a black mask of fabric…_

…

* * *

…**_(a sad grey-eye looking out from a second story window of Yondaime's house as Iruka and the fourth stood outside talking. Yondaime followed where Iruka's gaze had suddenly shifted and smiled kindly._**

"**_Kashi-kun! Why don't you come down with 'Ruka-kun and I?" he called._**

_**The owner of the eye shook his head and retreated into the shadows)…**_

* * *

…

…"_You're Yondaime-sama's Kashi-kun!" Iruka exclaimed, unable to stop himself as he jumped up from the wreckage, "The boy in the window!"_

_Iruka had never heard the boy speak before, and even now he still didn't say anything in the dim light, only turning to fix Iruka in his vision: one eye stormy grey, the other scarred and blood-red with a black tomoe. _

"_Sandaime," he began, still looking at Iruka, but speaking to the two Jounin, "Has issued the order for every available shinobi to take themselves to the south end of the village to help look for survivors amongst the wreckage."_

"_Is the battle over?" the Jounin on Iruka's right asked hopefully._

"_Hai," he told them, "You can leave the Genin. Go follow your orders." _

_Both Jounin nodded and quickly disappeared from sight as they hurried towards the south end of the village. As soon as the two shinobi had gone the silver-haired ANBU turned away, saying nothing more, but Iruka caught him by the arm._

_Iruka was shaking as he asked the older boy, "Kashi-kun, is Yondaime-sama…"_

_The boy was silent for a moment, but then answered saying, "Yondaime-sensei used Shisho Fuin: Four-Symbols-Seal, a fuinjutsu that sealed the kyubi away into the body of a new born child in exchange for giving up his life to a Shinigami."_

_Iruka's heart broke, "Then its true…he's dead…" the Genin whispered, his voice quivering._

"_Hai," the other responded, still facing away, his tone empty of all emotion. After a moment, Iruka let his hand fall from the ANBU's arm, and the older boy took another step down the trail._

"_Wait!" Iruka called out, stopping the other boy once more, "Where are you going?"_

"_I have to do something for Yondaime-sensei," the instant answer almost caught Iruka by surprise._

"_Please…take me with you," the Genin begged. The other shinobi shook his head wordlessly and began walking again._

"_Yondaime-sama asked you to save Naruto, didn't he…"_

_The ANBU suddenly rounded on the Genin, fixing Iruka with his gaze once again, with his masked face mearly inches from the Genin's own. "How do you know about that?" he demanded to know._

_Iruka ignored the outburst, continuing with all the courage he could muster, "You don't have to take him away to Suna. A shinobi belongs in his village!"_

_The silver-haired boy narrowed his eyes, "Right now this village hates him," he stated gravely, "Sandaime-sama can only do so much—"_

"_I don't hate him! Take me with you, and I'll take care of him until they find someone better!"_

"_You're a child…" the ANBU countered._

"_I can do it! I promise! Please!"_

_The shinobi ignored Iruka's last plea and hurriedly began to turn away. For a second time the Genin grabbed for the silver-haired boys arm. Iruka suddenly found himself pushed to the ground with a kunai at his throat, the older boy's shadowed face looking down at him, void of expression._

"_Take me with you," he repeated._

_A pause. _

"_Why should I?"_

"_Because we're the same. My Parents died from a kyubi attack, and now so have his. He doesn't have anybody; he's all alone. At least I had Yondaime. Please…please…" _

_The shadow of the ANBU didn't move and Iruka could only try to catch his breathe and not choke on the ash drifting through the air._

"_Damnit…damnit…" _

_Suddenly Iruka was yanked onto his feet. For a moment Iruka was disoriented, but his vision cleared his vision and balance settled and he heard the silver haired shinobi's voice again._

"_Come on, we have to get there before ROOT does."_

"_Thank you, Kashi-kun."_

"_It's not Kashi-kun. It's Kakashi"…)_

* * *

…

…He and Kakashi managed to arrive in time to save the infant from both exposure and the Konoha ROOT division, which was intent on killing the boy to destroy the Kyubi sealed within him. After Iruka and Naruto had been placed safely into the care of Sandaime, they had parted ways never to speak again. Iruka still remembered and held fast the knowledge that without Kakashi, he and Naruto would have never met, and the blond orphan would most likely be in Suna with the kind but weak-willed sister of Yondaime's lover who hadn't the courage to run away from her abusive family like her sibling who had died in child birth.

Less than a year later, news had quietly and anonymously reached Iruka that the sister of the woman had also passed away, beaten to death by her father.

He knew Kakashi had been the one to secretly inform him.

Catching sight of the man's bowl, Iruka couldn't help but furl an eyebrow in confusion. What happened to his food? It was there just a second ago…

An exasperated voice penetrated his musings, "(Sigh) Iruka-sensei, are you listening?"

Blink. He hadn't realized he'd even been a part of the conversation.

"Nani?" Iruka turned from the captivating reflection of his past to see Naruto frowning at him, with Sasuke and Sakura leaning over the counter to be seen as well. Megumi had gone.

"I _said_ do you know anyone on this list," the blond boy waved a creased sheet of paper about wildly. Somehow, remembering Naruto's presence allowed him to forget about the ninja adjacent to him.

Iruka smiled, "Well, if you stopped moving it around, maybe I could read it." The chunin did as requested and handed his former sense the paper. Looking at its contents, it took a moment of memory searching to come up with what he was actually looking at. Oh right, Sasuke's list of potential sensei. Wait, was he supposed to recognize any of these people?

"Hm, Sarutobi Makoto; Asuma-sensei's sister, I recognize her, although I was pretty sure she'd given up being a kunoichi after having Konohamaru. I know Kaito Obaki, hm…I've met Aibokutoun Daisuke before, too. That's all though," Iruka admitted. His three meal mates seemed disappointed at this small amount.

"What? But don't you work at the missions desk during summers and Saturdays, Iruka-sensei?" Sakura asked confusedly, "I would have thought you'd know more…"

"The ANBU have their own facilities, remember?" Iruka explained, "Their missions are almost all classified, even from other ninja, so they don't hand them out at the regular mission's desk."

Sakura's face was red in embarrassment, "Oh yeah…I forgot…"

"Do you know anyone who might tell us who the people on this list are?" Sasuke asked.

Iruka shrugged, thinking "Can't think of anyone specifically. You'd just have to ask around, someone in ANBU would be best. Or maybe look in a bingo book. They have all the relevant information on high ranking ninja of every country; including Konoha," he had a thought, "Why aren't you asking Jiraiya-sama or Tsunade-hime? They seem the most logical choices."

The three exchanged glances, "They wouldn't tell us anything about our sensei and they'd know what this was straight off, so they're out of the picture, and Sakura-chan says Shizune in on it too," Naruto informed him.

"Yamato-san's in ANBU, maybe we could ask him?" Sakura wondered aloud, but Sasuke contradicted her saying how they didn't even know how to get a hold of him.

"The Bingo Book idea would be best," Sasuke decided, "We only have until tomorrow to find out who they are anyways, and asking around takes a lot of time. All of these guys are ANBU so they don't interact with the regular ninja on a general basis so it's going to be hard to find people we know who might know them anyways."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Sasuke-kun? Major defect in your plan: they only issue Bingo Books to ANBU members."

"And really, just knowing who these people are doesn't tell us which will be our sensei, if any of them," Sakura added.

"Yeah, but then we could use my old plan: through out names to Ero-Sannin until he freaks out over one of them."

"And if he _doesn't_ freak out?" Sasuke snuffed.

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Than it's not someone on the list. _Obviously_."

Iruka chuckled as Sakura and Sasuke face-faulted.

"Well," Sasuke began, "if we pretend that Naruto's plan will work—"

"It'll work, teme!" Sasuke ignored Naruto's outburst as Iruka shook his head with a smile.

"—than all it comes down to is to figure out how to get a hold of a bingo book," he finished, "simple enough, right?"

Wrong.

Iruka finished his ramen, all the while trying not to choke as one outrageous plan after another was petitioned and discarded by the three chunin. A bowl for Sakura and Iruka and two bowls later each for Sasuke and Naruto, and the three were no closer to having a feasible plan in the works. Iruka couldn't help but shake his head amusedly at the scene.

Sakura looked about to give up on the whole project, as she stared intently at the dredges left in her bowl, "(sigh) we're never going to find a bingo book," she declared, but Iruka could tell that her two teammates had been thinking the same thing. They stared at the counter dejectedly, finally about to give up when a sudden voice made them jump.

"Saa, you can use mine."

---

Kakashi's first instinct was to drop everything and leave immediately.

There were, however, times when a mission could and should be abandoned, and others where the risks and potential outcome were not as such that it was necessary or even possible. Indeed, leaving now before having eaten any of his food was not a typical way to act, so the abandoning in itself would draw attention to him; something he was trying to avoid.

And upon further evaluation of the situation, he came to the striking realization that there was a very high chance that the three young shinobi and their former-sensei, the man he knew that was taking care of Naruto, would not even know him for who he was. He'd often seen them and recognized them for who they were, however they had never been introduced to him on any formal basis and so would not be able to do the same to him. Calculating the risk-factor of the other shinobi with them who seemed to be their former academy-sensei by the dialogue that had transpired, Kakashi found that there was a next to zero-percent chance that said man knew him either.

So in essence he was safe from them and could continue with his meal.

Not.

Outwardly, his behavior didn't change; his heart didn't speed up, nor did his eyes shift to scan the surroundings and more than before. But Kakashi really _did not want to be there_.

The best thing to do, he decided, was to finish eating and leave. Really it was the only logical path…Damnit, he was almost too nervous to eat.

The Ramen girl struck up a conversation with the three chunin as the sensei watched with a smile. Kakashi assumed he was smiling anyways; his back was turned because of the way he had to sit in the chair to face the other three. The three kids were ranting to the ramen girl about what a crappy day they'd had.

_Heh, not as crappy as mine, I'll bet_. Despite his tension, Kakashi almost laughed at their antics.

Naruto was going on about how Ero-Sennin (Jiraiya, he supposed) was being irritating (as if that wasn't _always_ the case, Kakashi thought) in such-and-such way by withholding information as to the identity of their ANBU-sensei (ANBU-sensei? The title was Sempai, what the hell…) and how the old man couldn't get the bastard to say yes, to teaching them.

Kakashi might have been insulting by being described in such a fashion, but he was completely aware that he was, indeed, a bastard at least ninety-percent of the time, so in his mind he couldn't justifiably object.

That kid reminded him so much of Yondaime…

Yondaime who was gone.

…

* * *

_(…will you take him to be with his family in Suna, Kashi-kun? For what he will have done for this village, He deserves to be loved…)_

* * *

…

Kakashi took a deep but nigh imperceptible breath. A promise so ruthlessly broken. Just because of what he'd seen in some boy's pleading eyes. And he hated himself. He tried to look in on the two, Naruto and that young genin, but it was too much for him; the loss of Yondaime to close and the knowledge of his treachery to great. He'd allowed them to leave his life and he'd then lost track of them except for the occasional rumor featuring the latest of the kyubi-no-gaki's practical jokes. It wasn't till that horrible incident at the chunin exams that Kakashi had caught up with the more ostentatious of the two persons. The boy with the horizontal scar was still at large and Kakashi figured that for all intents and purposes it might be better if it stayed that way…

Breathing and mental control exercises performed in a way that would not draw attention allowed him to put his thoughts aside.

Even over twenty-years of strict training in the physical and mental control that came with knowledge of the ninja arts couldn't stop his hand from shaking. He blamed that action as the reason why the sensei that was accompanying the three was spying on him through the reflective surface of a stainless steel bowl. Rather clever that. Still wasn't going to catch him taking his mask down though, if that was even what the man was waiting for. The sensei seemed strangely tense…

Kakashi's gaze moved from the dish as Naruto drew him into conversation and waved something around. Hn, a list of ANBU. And Itachi made it apparently, at the bequest of Sasuke. A good use of resources, but if Itachi made it than Kakashi wasn't on it. His former student knew Kakashi's official stance on taking new pupils. Once again he was a least partially safe from them seeking him out.

They got into a big discussion, all three contributing ideas and pooling their knowledge and skills and working together. He'd known the three had by some chance (that was perhaps not so much by pure luck now that he thought of it) been placed on the same team. Three exceptional people who could work together in unison; they seemed to be very close. He found himself begrudgingly agreeing with Jiraiya: they were like the Sannin without a power hungry freak in the mix. Or Team Yondaime before very thing turned to shit because of him…

Really all they were missing was a Sandaime the ninja 'Professor', or a Yondaime the Yellow Flash.

Poor Sasuke, he really should have looked in on him more than he had. Should have asked him if he were having any problems, gotten to know him…but…

…

* * *

_(…Kakashi-sempai, will you check in on my little brother occasionally? I just wish they would let me see him more...)_

* * *

…

…Was Kakashi just running away from responsibility? He'd known he'd been running away, cowardly fleeing. But he'd thought he'd been trying to escape pain for the both of them but maybe…maybe he'd been wrong. Really seeing them now, instead of in some memory in his mind or a from a secret vantage point or from hearsay and information gathering made him just stop dead. From fear, from grief, from doubt and from guilt.

But also in awe. In awe of their potential. Their potential to be three of the greatest shinobi the world had ever seen. Powerful people whose hearts weren't worn away by the life of a shinobi, who kept their hopes and dreams alive and gave their whole selves to the service of others out of love and not simply duty.

But who was going to take them there?

…

* * *

_(…Please Kashi-kun, will you look after my sister when I'm gone? I'm all she has and I'm afraid I won't be around much longer…)_

* * *

…

…He'd done better with Sakura. He's brought her to the attention of the right people, and Tsunade took it from there, but once again, there had been more he could have done.

Really, he owed it to them. He'd promised three people long ago that he'd look after their young ones. Kakashi had never fully lived up to those promises.

The three were now trying to figure out what they were supposed to do with the information that their list provided. The general consensus was that once the people listed were properly identified, than the chunin could weed out those who seemed unlikely and then go from there. Naruto seemed to think that if they said the name near Jiraiya than he would produce some kind of telling reaction.

After a moment of thought, Kakashi realized he could neither verify not deny that this would happen. Although Jiraiya was a Sannin of notable repute and was able to be professional when the situation called for it, he did have a number habits and reactions that in other ninja would have been seen as weaknesses.

He figured the plan had about fifty-fifty chance of working.

Not that they'd ever find out anyways. Not with that list.

It was laughable really.

Finding out information on the people listed proved to be a harder problem to solve, and they seemed to be loosing steam until the sensei overseeing their plans suggested a Bingo Book. Rather convenient solution really. Absolutely commendable. Of course procuring said bingo book was next to impossible. Kakashi waited to see how they would jump this hurtle…

And mentally paused in shock.

Was he…actually thinking of taking them on? No, it seemed like he'd already decided. But when had this happened? What had been the turning point, and what would this bring? He'd never taught three at once before. That wasn't how ANBU worked. And they hadn't even had ROOT training. How the hell was he supposed to do this? He'd have to test them, teach them advanced foundation jutsu, go into the theory-work, think of ways to make his solitary training exercises into team work activities…

Damnit, this was going to be _work_.

But then again…it had been ages since he'd had a willing victim to tortu—er, to _train_…maybe this could be fun?

…

Yeah, because blasts of hallucinatory flashbacks every five minutes was _so enjoyable_—Damnit!

Kakashi couldn't help himself; he turned back to the conversation to find that the team seemed to have given up, they were staring (or glaring in Sasuke's case) at the last of the food in their bowls in that way showed how frustrated they were.

Sakura sighed, "We're never going to find a bingo book," she declared mournfully.

It was just so easy to prove them wrong…he couldn't help it; he just had to take it.

"Saa, you can use mine," Kakashi said and as almost a whisper. He realized that he _really _wasn't used to talking very much because his voice was pitched about ten decibels too low. Or maybe those three had just been speaking so loudly…

Three faces wearing identical blank expressions turned to fix him with their surprise and confusion then simultaneously dropped their gazes to the black leather bound book he held out to them.

Silence.

Kakashi shrugged, "Well, if you don't want it then…"

"Nonononononoonono!" Sakura waved her hands frantically in a negative gesture.

"We want it, we want it!" Naruto added and hurriedly snatched up the slim volume, jumping over the sensei who had been failing to turn his neck the one hundred and eighty degrees to look at the shinobi behind him.

"Yare!" the sensei exclaimed, finally managing to put himself facing the right angle, "Naruto, please pay more attention to what you are doing."

At first Kakashi didn't pay the man any mind, but the sight of a single white slash across the bridge of the man's nose gave made him mentally flinch…

…

* * *

_(…"—Take me with you, and I'll take care of him until they find someone better!"_

"_You're a child…"_

"_I can do it! I promise! Please!"…)_

* * *

…

…the boy from that day: 'Ruka-kun. Naruto's Iruka-sensei was Yondaime's 'Ruka-kun.

He looked the same as before, but a little more fleshed out with his very tan skin, chestnut hair tied up and matching eyes. And something, that something that led him to say yes that day. Conviction maybe. Sincerity definitely…

It shocked him for a moment, but the emotion faded into sadness and chagrin. It seemed 'Ruka-kun had kept his promise, unlike himself. Seeing him now still with Naruto, it made Kakashi feel that he really had made the right choice that day.

Kakashi thought he'd play it cool. Not say anything. Doubtless he'd forgotten about Kakashi, a person he'd only seen once that day long ago and perhaps once or twice with Yondiame when he was still alive in what seemed another lifetime.

Surely he'd forgotten.

Their eyes met.

And Kakashi _knew_ that he hadn't forgotten. That the man in front of him would never forget and thought everyday about that moment when Kakashi had betrayed his sensei's dying wish because of something in that person's eyes that had reached out and pulled at him in a way that nothing else had every done before or since.

And he started to think…that maybe he _could_ be forgiven.

That maybe…it was better this way.

Because, for some reason, it just seemed right that those two be together.

---

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke didn't really know what was going on between their former sensei and the stranger, but whatever it was involved a lot of staring at each other intently without blinking.

"Er, thanks," Sasuke mumbled awkwardly, not even hiding the quirked eyebrow and questioning glance between Iruka and the man.

"…no problem…" the stranger replied softly but lazily finally removing his eyes from Iruka.

"Awsoooooome—" Naruto wailed in the background as he flicked thought the pages, captivated.

Sakura, as always, was the voice of reason. She looked at the stranger suspiciously, "You're an ANBU?" she questioned. Looking at the man, she was immediately struck by the contrast between his ghostly paleness and dark clothing. She'd seen ninja wear masks before, but it was usually on mission or during special types of training but this person was wearing it in out in public and with a manner than made it seem like it was a part of him. Very strange.

Well, it immediately qualified him for Jounin status in her mind.

"…Hn…" it seemed like an agreement.

Sasuke fixed the ANBU with his _Distrustful Glare!_ but to his surprise, the man didn't even flinch. Didn't even seem to have noticed him. Sasuke quietly sulked in his chair next to Naruto, 'helping' the other boy to cipher through the information of the bingo book.

Sakura bowed and asked to be excused as she joined Sasuke and Naruto shuffling through the book.

Iruka hadn't meant to stare.

But when their gazes met, he just couldn't look away. The longer he watched, the lighter those storm grey eyes became until it hit Iruka like a ton of bricks.

He really did remember him.

"Er, thanks," Sasuke's ambition of gratitude seemed strangled and Iruka wasn't sure whether that was from the nigh tangible auras pulsing through the air, or just a reflection on how it was for the Uchiha to thank someone. Either way, it knocked Iruka out of his reverie to flush with embarrassment as Kakashi's eye hung for a moment longer on the sensei before turning to regard Sasuke, leaving Iruka's flush of embarrassment to go unnoticed.

"…no problem…"

Yare, how was he able to stay so cool?

Sakura asked a question and received what could only vaguely be considered an answer, and after that the ANBU and Sasuke had another brief exchange before all three were safely occupied by the bingo book over at the other corner of the stand.

The ramen stand was rather small, but the three were still far away and the streets were getting loud enough that they would miss what Iruka had to say to Kakashi.

"Ano…" Iruka asked nervously, "Is it okay to just give them a bingo book like that?"

_Umino, you are such a coward._

Kakashi shrugged, gaze moving from the three to Iruka who tried to hide a shiver. "Saa…" the man drawled, "They are going to be ANBU anyways, ne? It doesn't matter…"

A timidly spoken "Oh…" was all Iruka could answer in return. What was there to say? He wanted to tell him so many things it was like a pressure in Iruka's brain bursting to come out but he couldn't translate any of it to words. What was there to say? What was he supposed to say? What could there be left to tell between two people who had only interacted once. He felt like he should know.

Everything living the life of a ninja had done to his instincts had left him and Iruka was frantically looking anywhere, everywhere than other the pale shinobi's mask hidden face.

"Saa, I've gotta go," He suddenly said and languidly dropped a couple coins on the table before getting up from his chair. _He's tall_ randomly drifted into the back of the chunin's mind.

_What?_ "Nani?" Iruka stammered confusedly, had he done something? Was it his fault? "But, your book—"

"Just tell them to bring it to me tomorrow morning…" he countered easily. He sounded really tired. For some reason this made Iruka sad. Kakashi didn't look all that well either, was he sick? Was he working too hard?

All the sensei could get out was a shake of the head and a confused, "I don't…"

"Ja Mata 'Ruka-kun…" Kakashi held up his hand in a gesture that could be categorized as a wave good bye, so phlegmatically was it gesticulated, before shoving it into his pockets to match the other.

Naruto looked up from the bingo book to see Kakashi turning the corner down the street and a Iruka gazing after him with the strangest expression, "Hey, where's he going Iruka-sensei? Doesn't he want his book?"

---

In the Hokage's Office, Tsunade's attention was turned inward even as she narrowed her eyes intently at the wood grain of her maple desk.

"There's got to be _some_ way to make him agree," she murmured in concentration, "There got to be _something_ that will change his mind…

"—I don't know, Tsunade-chan," Jiraiya sighed from his place standing in front of the desk, "I don't want to give up on him but…Maybe we ought to go with Yamato. I've tried _everything _to get Kakashi to—"

Jiraiya was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Enter," Tsunade said automatically without looking up from her desk.

Kotetsu opened the door, "Hokage-sama, Hatake-san wishes to speak with you."

Tsunade and Jiraiya exchanged stunned and perplexed looks.

"Let him in," Tsunade answered. Kotetsu bowed out the door and closed it. Tsunade and Jiraiya waited in silence for a few moments before the door opened again to admit Kakashi in full ANBU-gear: armor, mask and all. Tsunade mentally sighed; Kakashi would admit to his own name only while wearing that uniform…

As soon as the door was closed, Kakashi removed the fox mask that was the symbol of the Konohagakure ANBU. Tsunade figured the scolding for appearing in ANBU-gear outside of official ANBU business was pointless and went straight to the point, "Kakashi, what is…"

"I'll do it," he interrupted.

Blink.

"You'll do it…" she repeated. Out the corner of her eye she could see that Jiraiya was having an equally hard time processing this scene.

Kakashi nodded, "Hn, tell them to meet me at dawn on the bridge."

Jiraiya snuffed, "You mean to have them waiting out there all day?" The ANBU only shrugged.

"Was there anything else?" the Hokage asked.

He shook his head, "Iee, I'll just be going then," he turned to leave.

"What made you change your mind?"

Kakashi glanced back but said nothing as his eye curved in amusement before replacing the Fox Mask and exiting the office.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**Something in Your Eyes**

_(By LGR)_

**Chapter Two: Drop it**

"_I'm Fine."_

---

Ah yes, dawn.

Or kind of anyways, he'd watched the sunrise about an hour ago, to tell the truth.

Kakashi had a strong tradition of tardiness that wasn't liable to be broken anytime soon, but today was a special case that was putting a strain on his nerves.

He didn't want to show up at all, really. These kids weren't stupid and every time he looked at Naruto he was almost certain the kid could see straight into his heart. It made Kakashi guilty and nervous.

Naruto _would_ find out.

But Kakashi's loyalty to his village and the duties it required, was ingrained ditching amounted to something like treason in his book.

He let loose an almost undetectable sigh, staring into the mirror-bright face of that rock for a final moment, before turning his back, schooling his thoughts for the trek into town.

He turned, leaving the past behind him

After all, they had a lot to do on this; the first day…he couldn't drag this out like he usually did.

"They didn't need to call out the cavalry: I said I'd do it. I don't go back on my word," Kakashi informed the Sannin who wordlessly and noiselessly joined him on his path. The ANBU couldn't help sounding miffed at the thought that he had been doubted.

"You got the scroll Tsunade sent for you?" Jiraiya asked him.

Kakashi snuffed, examining the ground without really seeing it as he answered, "Unfortunately," he sighed, sounding more world-weary than someone twenty years older than himself, "I hate the file room: why couldn't the three be transferred into ROOT for just one day, then I could have Ibiki get them for me. The security at the main HQ is nauseating."

"I'd forgotten how much you complain about these little things," Jiraiya deadpanned.

"I do it for _you_," Kakashi informed the older man lightly, as his eye curved in amusement. Jiraiya's face spazzed until a none-too-casually-delivered cough allowed him to get his face under control.

"I'm surprised that you aren't in ANBU-gear," he said, "You wear it for everything else no matter _what_ Tsunade-baba threatens to do to you. Why the change?" the Sannin asked suspiciously.

Kakashi met Jiraiya's gaze with a neutral eye saying seriously, "Don't you think wearing it around town everyday for a year or so would be a bit…_much_?"

Jiraiya guffawed. "You have a talent for understatement," he informed the ANBU.

"Hn," was the only response.

"What's the real reason?" Jiraiya pried.

"Besides how conspicuous ANBU-gear would make me…"

"Of course."

"…along with how we want to make this a relatively comfortable learning environment for the children…"

Jiraiya wondered when Kakashi had ever cared about that, but nodded anyways.

"…and the fact it's uncomfortably hot for autumn today…" Kakashi drawled, his lone eye drifting to look at something passing along the trail.

"Yeah, besides that." Jiraiya hurriedly agreed and waited for the real response. The truth was that if Kakashi had really wanted to wear the gear, none of that would stop him. In the ANBU-gear he didn't much care about conspicuousness, it was only while in regulat Jounin gear that he tried to protect his identity. The kids would probably get over the ANBU-gear eventually, and Kakashi was practically untouched by anything but the most extreme temperature changes. So there must be another reason: Jiraiya waited.

And waited…

Kakashi seemed to be really searching himself for an answer. Something that would make sense.

"…I dunno," Kakashi finally said quietly, "…just…felt like a change…"

Jiraiya gave him a look that Kakashi couldn't quit decipher, but didn't say a word as he turned from the path disappeared in a rush of speed.

---

The village was just starting to get busy. In a half hour from now, children would be walking to school; adults would open up their shops or travel to their places of employment, while shinobi went about their own business twenty-four-seven. Even so, there weren't many people out on the streets.

Kakashi hadn't any fear of someone pointing him out these days. Most of the people who _could_ point him out without his ANBU-gear were both subtle and understanding enough to not draw any attention that he would otherwise not want. It was for this reason that he was able to stroll along the street in his usual state of mind.

That was to say, on auto-pilot while reading _Icha Icha_.

Today he'd brought along the first book in the series; _Icha Icha Paradise_. A novel he'd read so many times that his thoughts drifted off to a place other than the one being enacted by his book.

Despite how gung-ho he'd been yesterday about doing this, a night's sleep and a morning at the memorial rock had made Hatake Kakashi doubtful on his ability to take this assignment. The memorial rock tended to do that sort of thing. It was a pain like that. A hulking mass of negativity. So why did he even go there?

Because almost everyone he'd ever cared about had their name on it.

Okay.

Many times had he been asked to educate a would-be ANBU shinobi in ways that their ROOT division could not. Whether that be physical or mental training, or something that boiled down to 'waking-them-up-to-reality', Kakashi had taught them. He had tutored singular individuals how to survive in the world of ANBU.

But with his last failure in Itachi, he was no longer confident that he had the ability, and more importantly on this occasion, the mental stability to perform up to snuff and give them the education they needed.

Yesterday he'd nearly sliced off Jiraiya's hand for one thing. Only his years of experience and training—experience and training that Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke _didn't_ _have_—allowed the man to come away intact. Kakashi could watch himself, he could carefully try to control his thought processes and the situations he put himself in, but it wasn't perfect. In his condition it would never _be_ perfect. He was on indefinite leave for precisely this reason.

It was dangerous being around him. Dangerous in every way.

It was foolish to think otherwise.

So why had Tsunade pick him? She obviously cared about these three, and any sane person would run as far and fast from him as they possibly could. Someone else would have done just as good a job. Tenzo for one. Kakashi had somehow manage to do something right for him; which was more than could be said for Itachi…

Jiraiya couldn't keep training them for much longer, the Akatsuki had changed from a distant enemy to practically right on their doorstep and the Sannin was needed for missions only he could perform successfully. Perhaps this was the reason they'd chosen Kakashi. He wasn't in any condition to perform missions and this would free up someone to do his job while essentially loosing nothing. That really was the only logical reason for their decision.

He should be angry, they'd placed the children in danger. He wasn't. He was just worried.

The ANBU hadn't been there for the three when they'd needed him. Kakashi did realize that he'd mostly taken this assignment on the selfish concept that doing so would somehow lessen his sin, but that wasn't the only reason. Something in Kakashi, something that he couldn't name, so long had it been since it last surfaced in his heart, _demanded_ he do this.

Perhaps Tsunade had predicted some of this emotion in him. A loyalty that transcended the need of a familiarity and relation between himself and Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke to exist. They didn't know him. He'd never really met any of them formally. Spoken to none of them more than once or twice.

Nin-dogs had always been a part of the Hatake clan. A streak of steadfastness was in his blood, and once his allegiance was given it was never taken away.

He had a duty to perform here.

A whisper in the back of his mind floated to the surface. It whispered to him in a voice that for all its quietness struck through his brain in an echoing fit of condemnation.

_You're teaching them to be killers in a world of killers, and the question isn't IF, but WHEN they'll be killed themselves. How dare you call this life you're training them for commiseration for your past actions…_

It was true.

But that was the world of the ninja. The world of blood and shadows, of underneath the underneaths, of the possibility of death and all it brought with it. They'd chosen that for themselves and there was no going back now. Maybe they'd never really had a choice, being as they were descendant from shinobi in a village of shinobi. Sometimes he felt he hadn't had a choice.

He didn't quite believe in fate, but sometimes when he looked back, he couldn't help but picture a line running from his past to his future. A line that connected every decision and event that he had made or experienced, and think that there really was no other way it could have played out. Like his life had been there waiting for him before he was even born. As if he had been destined for this world of truth and deception; life and death.

Sometimes it comforted him—made him feel it wasn't his fault, because no matter what he might have done, it would have progressed in the same way despite itself.

Mostly, however, it made him angry—to think he couldn't decide things for himself. To think that everyone around him was destined to die and neither they nor he had any say in the matter.

No, he needed to believe that there had been a choice.

But that didn't change who he was: a death bringer. He killed people. He killed assassins, enemy shinobi, criminals, politicians and even his own friends and family. They all died. Because of him. Well, Jiraiya and Tsunade said it wasn't because of him, and logically speaking they were right.

But he still didn't believe them…

…Kakashi shuddered and brought a shaking hand to his eye.

The Sharingan.

He couldn't have read the words on the page of his book if he wanted to; they were moving around so much. His eye pulsed and throbbed with the beating of his own heart as his vision tunneled and blackness swam in front of his eye.

Stopping for a moment, he waited for the pain to subside before continuing on. He had to stop thinking about his past. He was trying to make up for it right now, he needed to stop avoiding his responsibilities, and that meant getting to know Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke and providing them with what they needed. Something apparently only he could give them.

---

It was dawn.

For real this time.

And three chunin were waiting impatiently at the bridge not far from the ninja academy. Sasuke leaned against the railings with his arms crossed, a solemn expression cemented upon his face. Sakura sat on the railing, her elbow sitting on her crossed legs as she held up her head with one hand. Naruto leaned over the railings, his arms hanging limp off the side as if he couldn't be bothered with holding up his own weight.

The sun breached the horizon, casting it's warmth on their faces as their breath caught in there throats. But the moment quickly passed as that great light in the sky continued to rise, not in the least bit concerned about the three shinobi who had been eagerly awaiting the sight of its shining face.

The seconds ticked by.

A minute.

Then five.

Then ten.

Some time later, the three exchanged looks.

The blond of the group groaned in irritation, "He's late…"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "Yeah," he agreed. The pink-haired kunoichi sitting on the railing between the two, unfolded her legs. They were feeling all fizzy from the lack of blood circulation anyways.

"Are you _sure_ Jiraiya-sama said dawn, Naruto-kun?" she asked suspiciously.

"Uh, you were _there_," Naruto snapped in anger at their situation, "You heard the same thing I did. He freaking _said_ dawn."

The three thought back carefully to yesterday afternoon…

…

* * *

_(… "I still can't believe that guy just let us borrow his bingo book like that," Sakura mused, sitting on the couch in Naruto and Iruka's apartment sipping orange juice from a glass with a turquoise colored plastic swizzle-straw, "How the heck are we supposed to get it back to him?"_

_Sitting on the floor over the coffee table, Sasuke and Naruto were reading intently and taking annotations on the Bingo Book in ringed notebooks, both with their own glasses of fruit juice on coasters, embellished with different colored plastic swizzle-straws._

"_He's a ninja," Sasuke reminded her, "He'll find us when he wants it, I would suppose. Now that I think about it, he seemed really familiar..."_

"_I feel the same way. We've probably just seen him around the village," Sakura reasoned._

"_Yeah, I guess so," taking a drink of his orange juice, the liquid was sucked through the ostentatious loops of the scarlet colored plastic straw. He raised a bemused eyebrow, as if seeing the straw for the first time, "Uzumaki, why does Iruka-sensei have these kiddy-straws?"_

_Naruto shrugged absently, not taking his eyes off his task to answer, "He ordered them from some catalog as prizes for the kids one year and they sent him like a crap load of them, we've got an entire drawer full." Naruto came to a sentence in the book and scribbled it down in his notebook._

_Sasuke moved to turn the page of the book, and when Naruto didn't object, did so, "Why don't you guys just give them away?" the Uchiha asked as he scanned the page on the right and Naruto did the same with the page on the left._

"_We do," Naruto answered, taking a sip through his Orange-colored straw. The juice chased itself in circles as it twisted along the length of the tube. "They were on overstock or something and just threw in an extra five thousand."_

"_Holy crap."_

"_Yeah," Naruto put down his pencil, and stretched, "Okay, my hand's cramping up. Your turn again Sakura-chan," The Kunoichi nodded and took Naruto's place at the coffee table as the kyubi-no-gaki stood up then walked the length of the living room._

"_So let's see," he said, finishing his go-around and dropping onto the couch, "Our clues are as follows:" he held up a finger that his two companions didn't even look at, "Clue one: is an ANBU. Clue Two: has some kind of teaching capacity. Clue Three: Is a guy…"_

"_Hey, it could be a girl. We've just been referring to 'him' as 'him' for practicalities sake," Sakura interrupted, turning around to fix Naruto with a raised eyebrow._

"_Actually, Jiraiya confirmed it when we asked him this morning," Sasuke corrected, "Remember, he said 'I jumped _him_ twice in one day…'."_

_Sakura grumbled about the gender gap and feminine rights but her companions ignored her. _

"_So, Clue Three," Naruto continued, holding up three fingers, "Is a guy. Clue Four: Is a pain in the ass, as evidence from Tsunade-baachan's drinking and Ero-Sennin's behavior yesterday—"_

"_Oo, 'as evidence from'…" Sasuke interjected mockingly._

"_Shut up, Teme," Naruto held up five fingers, "Clue Five…clue five…cluuuee fiiiiivvve…"_

"_There is no clue five, Dobe."_

"_No Clue five? I could have sworn there was a clue five…"_

"_You could have, and you would have been wrong."_

"_Teme."_

"_Dobe."_

"_Come on guys," Sakura rolled her eyes at the childish behavior of her teammates as she put down her pencil, "We have to pick off everyone from this list who doesn't fit the description. That was the last person."_

"_Already? Well Oka—"_

_The door bell rang._

_Sasuke looked at Naruto, "Whose that?"_

"_How the hell should I know?" Naruto retorted as he got up from the couch to answer the door. Turning the knob, he pulled open the door to see Jiraiya._

_Naruto blinked; Jiraiya didn't usually come to their house like this and ring the door bell unless Iruka was at the house (which he wasn't, he'd said something about forgetting he needed milk for tomorrow or something and went shopping). The Toad Hermit usually opted for teleporting into whatever room Naruto happened to be in and tossing him out the window before tugging him off somewhere for training or a lecture or something to that effect. _

"_Er…Konnichiwa Ero-Sennin…" Naruto said awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Should he invite him in or something? That was what they usually did with guests… "Ano…did you want to Er…come in or something?" Naruto asked, gesturing vaguely behind him to the living room._

"_We have swizzle-straws!" Sakura informed the Sannin cheerfully. Jiraiya's eyebrows furled in confusion. Naruto just shrugged. It was true; they really did have swizzle-straws._

_Jiraiya blinked, "Um…no thanks…" he coughed, before continuing as if the bizarre exchange hadn't occurred, "The guy just came and told Tsunade and I that he'd do it."_

_Naruto's face lit up, "Awesome! You're the best Ero-Sennin! Dattebayo!" he beamed, giving the old man a thumbs-up in approval._

"_Yeah, I'm the best…,"Jiraiya mumbled along with something else that was unintelligible as he avoided eye contact and looked uncomfortable. Naruto suddenly laughed and pointed obnoxiously at the super-pervert, understanding what was going on. _

"_Haha! You didn't do anything did you!" he accused. Naturally, Jiraiya was outraged._

"_I'll have you know it was my skills as a Sannin that allowed for this to occur!" he argued back. Their onlookers, Sakura and Sasuke, couldn't help but note the resemblance in maturity level between the two._

"_Haha! Yeah right!"_

_Jiraiya huffed in indignation, ignoring the laughing teen, "I don't have to explain myself to a punk like you!" he justified, "And by the way, he says he'll meet you on the west gate bridge near the academy at dawn," he added offhandedly as if that were the least important piece of information he had yet to divulge._

_Behind the two, Sasuke turned to the pink-haired kunoichi next to him, "Jiraiya said 'he': told you Sakura-chan. So much for gender equality."_

"_Grrr…" the growl she made was practically animalistic._

_Naruto assumed a neutral expression as he looked behind him to give his fellow male teammate advice, "I advise that you back away slowly, Sasuke-kun," he said, then seemed to change his mind, "Or actually, you might want to break out running." When he looked back, Jiraiya was jotting down commentary to the scene in a small pad of paper._

"_What the hell!"_

_Jiraiya, seeing that he'd been caught writing 'notes' for his next Icha Icha novel, immediately tried to hide the evidence behind his back and play it cool, "Er, uh, anyways, that's all I wanted to tell you kids." He turned to leave, "Oh yeah," he said, turning back, "You guys might want to arrive late…)_

* * *

…

…"So _that's_ why he told us to come late…" Naruto mused wonderingly at the patch of sky he'd been gazing intently at as he recalled the day before.

Sakura frowned at the kyubi-no-gaki, "Naruto-kun, don't you think maybe that was an important piece of information?"

He shrugged, "Nah, I just thought he was being stupid. Besides you guys were there too…"

She smacked herself in exasperation, "You're hopeless…"

"Either way," Sasuke interrupted, his arms still crossed, eyes downcast in an effort to look wise, "We've identified Naruto-kun's elusive Fifth Clue: Tardiness."

"Yeah!" Sakura hurrahed.

"Awesome!" Naruto declared, and pulled out the Bingo Book, Itachi's list (or rather a copy of his list; his original had been folded, unfolded and written on so many times it was illegible,) the various notes the three had worked on the day before, and another improved list, which had narrowed their possibilities to only seven names. Not bad if they said so themselves. Naruto chuckled to himself, not really taking himself seriously as he thought: _Better not let this get out or the Intelligence Ops. will want us for their department and we'll never get any action, hee hee!_

"_Soooo…_" Naruto drawled, inspecting the various texts before him on the cement as the other three joined him, "Which of our qualifiers has a tendency to be late…"

"None of them do," Sasuke declared, still remembering the personal stats of most of the people on their list.

"Wha? None of them!"

"None."

"Maybe their Personal Section just didn't have it…"

"I find it hard to believe that we wouldn't have that kind of information on one of our own guys," Sasuke argued.

"True…" Naruto grudgingly agreed.

"Well, maybe it's not there because he's not late on a regular basis," Sakura supplied, "Maybe this is a special case that Jiraiya happened to know about. Like his mother died or something."

Sasuke snuffed, "His _mother_ died?" he mocked skeptically, "Why the heck would he agree in the first place if _that_ were the case?"

"_Exactly_. Jiraiya had a hard time getting him to agree." Sakura nodded superiorly. She felt like she was on the right track.

"Why would his _mother_ be _dying_?" Sasuke went on as if he hadn't even heard her.

"Maybe she's a ninja and got hurt on a mission." Naruto interjected.

"A fifty year old ninja?"

"It happens, look at Tsunade-baachan!" Naruto defended, "Or maybe she has a disease. Like the plague or something..."

Sakura rolled her eyes. Trust Sasuke and Naruto to take her idea, twist it around until it was unrecognizable and then run off a cliff with it, arguing. "It's _hypothetical_," she sighed exasperated, "Something _like_ that, you know? Not necessarily that _exactly_."

"Yeah, such as maybe it wasn't his mother, but his cat that died instead. Or maybe his sister is in the hospital from being bitten by a rabid moose."

"_Naruto…_" Sakura growled. He was making them both (but mostly him) look stupid with this conversation.

The _kyubi-no-gaki_ laughed, "Oh come on, Sakura-chan, I'm just kidding! I mean who ever heard of a rabid moose, anyways?"

"I have."

---

Kakashi found them exactly where he'd asked for them to be: at the bridge by the West gate, not far from the ninja academy. He wasn't exactly surprised to see that the three were still trying to find out who their _'ANBU-sensei' _was.

The ANBU had meant to approach them immediately upon arriving, but he hesitated. Mentally he told himself he was being an idiot. He'd spoken to them fine yesterday? But it had been on his own terms yesterday, he wasn't committing myself to anything.

He'd be giving up probably a year or two of his existence for these people. He wouldn't be able to go back, not without destroying a few lives at least, and he did that enough just for the sake of his job, he wasn't about to do it purposefully to people he cared about, even so strangely and distantly as these three people…

Because, he really did care about them. They were the only remnants he had left of those people that he had loved.

Stress and tension rippled along his body, he couldn't take a step or move a finger from his hiding place. Kakashi had astounding will power, on a mission he could continue to perform even with the most detrimental of injuries, and he'd woken up in a hospital and promptly began hyperventilating upon realization of where he was despite punctured lungs more times than he could count. But he…he just couldn't make himself do this.

He decided he would simply listen, for the time being. It was the most he could make himself do. It was like he wasn't able to control his own body. He felt unattached to the world for a moment, before he came to the realization that if he didn't get out of this funk right now, something could (would) go very wrong…

So he pulled out _Icha Icha Paradise_, (The only medicine they _couldn't _take away…) and paid attention to nothing else until the strange feeling subsided and eventually wore off all together. Finally he was able to get himself together and take the first vital steps to accepting the situation, by listening to their conversation.

He was initially amazed they'd managed to verify that their would-be sensei was subject to tardiness. How the hell had they figured that out? Jiraiya, probably. From there, however, it grew more and more out of hand. These kids were really creative, but he couldn't help shaking his head that so many decisions were being made on the basis of virtually zero concrete evidence.

_Cat died?_ Kakashi mentally commented at one point, _Good-riddance, I hate cats…_

At least Sasuke was being realistic, and Sakura was thinking of alternatives to justify previously gathered information that wasn't as it first appeared. And Naruto had a lot of crazy ideas that for all anyone knew could have been right, despite the improbability of them being so: _absolutely nothing was impossible_. And if you thought it was, then at some point in your life, that impossible was liable to come around and bite you in the ass. _Hard_.

_Just do it, Kakashi. Just do it,_ he commanded himself, _Jump out there and do it..._

The _kyubi-no-gaki_ laughed, unawares of the slinking shadow that was approaching his back, "Oh come on, Sakura-chan, I'm just kidding! I mean who ever heard of a rabid moose anyways?"

"I have," Kakashi said in a dull voice, having snuck up behind them the way only a battle-hardened ANBU could.

Sasuke and Sakura jumped, their hands moving to their weapon-pouches, but the identical looks of utter surprised confusion and embarrassment were _really_ hilarious. It really wasn't that often you saw expressions like that on ninjas, even teenage chunin, and he hadn't even had the pleasure (displeasure?) of being around anyone of that sort. It was a rare treat.

Kakashi was amazed to find his anxiety immediately gone.

All of it.

But then a little of it came back as he worried over what the hell that said about him? Maybe that he wasn't happy unless he was tormenting someone? No, that couldn't be it…

"Ow, shit!" Naruto had also jumped, but since he was the one Kakashi had snuck up on from behind, he'd had to spin around to face him, hitting the railing of the bridge in doing so, and banging his shoulder.

"_You!_" they all exclaimed simultaneously, stabbing at him with accusatory index fingers (Naruto a moment later than the others, as he had been massaging his shoulder).

"Me!" Kakashi responded cheerily, pointing to himself, single storm-grey eye curved in amusement. He had to admit, the rhythmic twitching that Sasuke's eyebrows were currently engaging in was very satisfying indeed.

"W-what are you doing here ANBU-san?—" Sakura asked, stunned at the ANBU's sudden appearance.

"—and what do you _mean_ you've seen a rabid moose?" Naruto added before Sakura delivered a punch to his arm, ("_Damnit Sakura-chan, that's the arm that hit the railings!_").

Hm, apparently…Ruka-kun…actually it was Iruka, wasn't it? The brats had addressed him as Iruka-sensei yesterday…

…

…Well, apparently…Iruka-sensei…hadn't told them that he'd be stopping by this morning. He hadn't dropped the man a hint for it to just be ignored after all. Well, that was alright, in fact these kids weren't (that) stupid, and might have been able to put two and two together to get four. Eh, It was more interesting this way, anyhow.

Kakashi conceded, his hands raised in defeat, saying in his monotonous voice, "Saa, you caught me; that was a lie."

Tired of practically breaking their necks to look at the man from their places sitting cross-legged on the ground, the three chunin picked themselves up from the concrete, gathering their many notes as they did so.

"Are you here for your book?" Sakura asked, as her broader question had been forgotten in favor of answering Naruto's, "Our ANBU-sensei is supposed to come today, so we don't really need it any more," she said, holding out the book for him.

"I did ask your sensei to inform you to bring it this morning…" was all Kakashi said as he took a black-gloved hand from his pocket to accept the book. Sakura and Sasuke were giving him weird '_whachutalkinbout?_' expressions but besides that none of the three seemed to realize that he hadn't even answered the question.

He vaguely wondered how they'd managed to get the rank of chunin with their deciphering skills being as they were, that was to say, virtually nil. Even the little investigation they'd pulled to find who'd be teaching them was sadly short of professional, despite the amount of effort they'd put into it. They hadn't even tried anything illegal, how boring…

Well, he supposed that was what _he_ was here for. Teaching them. Damn Jiraiya: lumping the hard crap onto him… Kakashi was going to have to acquaint them with the words '_Underneath the Underneath', _and make them stick,_ very soon_.

"Iruka-sensei you mean," Naruto supplied. Kakashi didn't so much as bat an eye at the name, but inwardly, tension ran down his spine, not leaving even though the spoken reminder of his past had dissipated. It was so strange to have those names that were etched into his memory spoken so _casually_…

"Yeah, Iruka _did_ mention something about that this morning…"

Sasuke groaned rounding on Naruto, "And you _just_ now mention this?"

The blond frowned at his friend and teammate, "You slept over last night! You were there this morning too! What right do you have to get on _my_ case for not remembering when _you_ didn't either? _Huh_? Yeah, no response, that's what I thought! _Dattebayo!_"

_Oooh-kaaay…_ Kakashi thought.

His eyebrows rose in confusion as he suddenly felt the urge to take a step back from the scene before him. This was usually about the time he disappeared in an ordinary conversation. Not that he had them very often. Unfortunately he'd made an agreement to teach them so disappearing wasn't really an option.

The argument progressed, and Naruto looked like he was actually hurt, despite the fact that he was putting on a ploy of just being mildly irritated.

They had better get over this quickly, Kakashi thought. Him playing group-therapist was a contradiction in terms. Oxymoronic, really, he whole-heartedly admitted it. He'd driven many a therapist to seek his or her own therapy. Ha. He was actually rather proud of that…

"Er…Gomen nasai, Naruto-kun…" Sasuke mumbled, realizing how much his remark had bothered the boy.

"Yeah, gomen," Sakura echoed. She'd done the same thing as Sasuke earlier in the morning.

"It's okay guys," Naruto forgave them, (_Thank the shinobi Gods_; that is, if they actually existed, which they didn't), turned his head, and looked surprised to realize that Kakashi was still there, "Oh, hey, what are you still doing here?"

Wow, well that sure made him feel loved. Not. If he didn't hate being touched he'd demand a hug. Sakura cuffed Naruto on the arm for lack of manners and Kakashi mentally approved.

Anyways; he really _did_ need to tell them why he was _really_ here if he wanted to get around to _actually accomplishing_ any amount of _work_ today. Because really, he could see this going on and on indefinitely, if he let it.

"That book help you kids at all? Find what you were looking for…" he asked, once again bypassing directly answering the question.

"Yeah, it was a big help," Sakura answered, "But we still haven't really narrowed down our search as much as we wanted to."

"Oh? I understand that you're researching possible ANBU operatives that might be assigned to take you under their wing. You have a working list, ne?"

Stare dumbly, blink.

"How did you…" Naruto began but Kakashi interrupted.

"Yesterday," was all he said.

"Ah." It was enough. They might get along after all.

"Er, yeah," Sakura answered the question for the group, and then beckoned for Sasuke to give Kakashi the list. The boy kept giving him searching looks as he reluctantly gave up the list to his fellow shinobi.

Kakashi didn't quite laugh as he looked at the list. It was more of a snicker.

He vaguely realized that today was probably the _most stressful_, and yet _most fun_ day he'd had in a _very_ long time.

The three frowned at the way he was suddenly treating their hard work. He'd seemed nice enough at first (if a little wacked, I mean, who gives a Bingo-Book to a group of teens? Seriously…), but that was just plain insulting.

"Excuse me ANBU-san, but could you please introduce yourself?" Sakura asked, her teeth only slightly grating as she sought to put a name to their antagonizer. The question also served the double-purpose of diverting her teammates' attention, before the glare Sasuke was giving the ANBU turned into something worse and Naruto started shooting his mouth off at the superior ninja.

Mulling for a moment over the pink-haired girl's request, Kakashi figured now was as good a time as any to spill the beans. He didn't know them very well; he wondered how they'd react?

"Hn," he handed back the list, all three noting the eerie fluidity with which this action was performed before Naruto snatched the paper back protectively.

"My name is…" he began, his eye half-lidded as he sucked in breathe and looked at the sky, as if considering whether to answer or not.

This, he felt, made things more dramatic.

"Hatake Kakashi," he finished. (Stunned Silence), "And since my name isn't on that list," he pointed at the paper unnecessarily as he continued in the same dry tone, "Than obviously you need to go back and do your research again..."

"Y-you're our ANBU-sensei?" Sakura managed to stutter.

"_Bingo_." Pun not intended.

"This…" Naruto began suddenly, "Is _so freaking AWESOME!_" He was practically jumping with excitement and Sakura was still considered the ramifications of what she had been told. One teammate, however, wasn't so excited.

"Aniki said Hatake-sama doesn't take students anymore," Sasuke interjected almost angrily, "Besides, how do we know you're really Hatake Kakashi?"

Kakashi hadn't really expected this, (why would anyone _doubt_?) but it was easy enough to assuage, "Saa, that used to be my policy, but…I changed my mind." He informed them easily. A pretty good explanation in his opinion.

Apparently Sasuke didn't think so. The little twit.

"You '_changed your mind_?'" Sasuke mocked, mimicking Kakashi in a way that wasn't in the least bit complimentary.

Itachi had thought he was a piece if work too…

…

* * *

(_… The ten year old looked over at the twenty-two year old, seizing up the man who would be his 'teacher'. Kakashi could see the absolute mistrust the boy was generating towards him and knew that this wasn't going to be a quiet Tenzo-case who really only needed a sparing partner and someone to show him the ropes. No, this was another self-idolizer who thought he was invincible, just waiting to be kicked from his pedestal…_

_The trick was to do it without breaking the kid._

"_So you're Hatake Kakashi," the short Uchiha said calmly, fixing the man before him with a neutral gaze and a hidden challenge._

_Such a hard stare for a boy so young. He thought he'd seen it all after only a decade of life. Such a fool. **He'd**_ _been through crap, the death of both parents, one a suicide victim, the death of someone who became a foster parent, his best friend, a girlfriend, a fucking war, the kyubi attacks…_

_And there were people who had it still worse._

_Such a fool…_

_Itachi narrowed his eyes, "You know," he began neutrally, "Everyone's been comparing me to you since the day I arrived at the academy…"_

_Kakashi laughed, "Wow, then you _must_ be screwed up…")_

* * *

…

…Good-mood out the window.

Like all the others, he really had just needed help. It was too bad really, that Itachi hadn't realized what Kakashi was there for until after he'd made the final, irrevocable mistake of believing he was alone.

He wished everyday that second-chances weren't just a fairy-tale.

Feeling a sharp pain develop behind Obito's eye, woke him back to reality. Kakashi was suddenly _really_ glad that he had the habit of putting his hands in his pockets, because they were clammy and, he guessed, shaking uncontrollably.

Sasuke's eyes were narrowed at Kakashi, as if angry that the man had taken too long to retaliate. The ANBU was reminded of the contrast between how the boy treated Naruto and Sakura and how Kakashi was being treated now. The Uchiha tightened his glare still more. It seemed the boy thought he was in imposter. It wasn't Kakashi's fault that reality seldom held up to the rumor-mill that was the Konoha shinobi gossip-vine.

Letting his eye-lid droop, Kakashi fought not to sigh. You needed skepticism as a ninja, but when you're superior told you something, you damn well better listen. There were no solo artists in this boy-band. Kakashi didn't care _how many_ fan-girls Sasuke had.

Kakashi knew this higher-than-though attitude, and he sure as hell wasn't going to put up with it. The kid might be a little bitch to the rest of the world, but Sasuke would soon find that he couldn't beat Kakashi at his own game. Itachi had found that out too, eventually. That kind of arrogance was going to get him into more trouble that he could handle: _guaranteed_.

Laxing his posture as he shrugged to himself, having made a decision, Kakashi brought a pale hand to his hitae-ate. Puzzled at first, as the ANBU's other hand reached behind his head to untie the cloth, the three suddenly realized what that slim piece of metal and fabric must be concealing. Sasuke comprehended his mistake, audibly swallowing in nervousness.

The ANBU stooped slightly to put his face level with Sasuke's and leaned in, his half-lidded grey eye soon joined by a scarlet iris with a spinning tomoe and vicious scar, as the hitae-ate was pulled from it's place on Kakashi's head…

…

* * *

(…_"You _'changed your mind'_?"_ _Sasuke mocked …)_

* * *

…

…Grey and crimson eyes met the Uchiha's black ones, as Kakashi delivered a simple yet menacing "_Hai_."

The Sharingan moved almost of its own volition to fix itself on a stunned Sakura and then on an awed Naruto, before Kakashi closed the eye, standing up straight but not replacing the hitae-ate. He'd probably sleep an extra half-hour tonight; that was all, the short time it was open rendered the chakra loss to a minimum. That demonstration would probably have been necessary at some point; at least it was over now.

There was no point trying to replace the head-protector without a mirror to assist him. His hair tended to do law-of-physics-bending type things if he didn't have his eye on it while fixing his hitae-ate. He shook out his hair like a dog shakes off water, and his spiky locks settled on his head as his three pupils stood blinking at the strange action.

"Now I know why you looked familiar," Sasuke declared, "You _are_ Kakashi; I've seen you visit Aniki, except you were in ANBU-gear."

"Hairstyle give it away?" He supposed he did look a _little_ different with his hair actually in the position it had been cut to hold, as apposed to the arrangement his hitae-ate forced it to.

(The kunoichi of the group whispered under her breath "_If you want to call _that_ a hairstyle…_")

"I'll remember you said that." Sakura's face turned beet red with embarrassment.

Good-mood back.

Pocketing his head-protector, Kakashi nudged his head towards the village and began walking down the street. Pausing only momentarily to give each other looks of expectation, the three quickly hurried after him.

---

The three chunin blinked.

Which was pretty much the reaction Kakashi had expected.

"Ano…" Sakura hesitated, eying their sensei and the building before them with question. Kakashi turned to fix her with his heavy-lidded grey eye, prompting her to continue. Upon seeing his gaze however, she giggled nervously and shook her head in a '_never mind_' gesture.

Wow, earlier they weren't taking him seriously and now that they knew who he was they were taking him _too_ seriously. He hadn't thought people took _that_ much stock in his reputation…

"Er, Hatake-sama?" Naruto finally asked in her place, when it became obvious Kakashi wasn't going to let up on them until he got some sort of an explanation from Sakura.

_Oh, not that…that wasn't Kakashi name: that was HIS name…_

"Rule number one," Kakashi stated as he brought a hand up to massage his temple; he'd suddenly developed at huge migraine…"Don't _ever_ call me that again. This is nonnegotiable."

Although his tone left no room for argument, the request itself made Sakura and Naruto wonder if it were some kind of joke, but decided to follow the rule none-the less. Sasuke finally determined that this _was_ indeed Kakashi, as he'd heard Itachi tell him (complain to him) about this bizarre rule before. Even so, he still wasn't impressed…

"…okay…" Naruto shrugged, "Ano, Kakashi-sensei then," (the shinobi in question sighed, nodding. Apparently it was a suitable title.) "Why are we in front of the admin complex?"

They were indeed standing in front of the administration complex. To be precise, the file-storage and mission's room building. A most unlikely place for ANBU training, the three deduced.

They were absolutely right. This time, anyways.

"Saa, I should think that were obvious: we are here for a mission." Kakashi answered gravely with a sagely nodded head that would do Jiraiya proud.

All three chunin exchanged glances that spelled anxiety, excitement and determination. What kind of mission would it be? They were all used to C and B Level missions and they had even undergone a few impromptu A and S ranks during the business with Orochimaru and the chunin exam. No doubt it was something that would test their skills and show Kakashi where they fell on the shinobi ladder: a mission where they would have to do their very best.

Seeing that the three chunin had no intention of furthering the discussion (Kakashi was rather surprised at that. He'd figured that at least one of them would want to know what kind of mission it _was_ exactly…their not doing so was both a good thing and a bad thing.) Kakashi lead them through the threshold of the building, walking down the long hall…

…and completely passing the missions office…

…_yeeeeaaah…_

"Kakashi-sensei, we just _passed_ the mission's room," Sasuke said none too warmly. He'd even say it was scornful. Or bitingly sarcastic. Wow, was Itachi this bad? Kakashi hadn't thought so…

"Hai, Sasuke-_kun_, that we did…" Sasuke frowned at being addressed so familiarly. He wasn't a kid, to be called _-kun_, even by Kakashi, the teen thought resentfully. He didn't even bother asking how the ANBU knew his name, when he hadn't yet offered it. He could have heard it from anywhere, really.

None of the chunin said anything more, as they were led deeper into the compound to an unmarked door. Neither Sakura, Naruto, nor Sasuke knew what was behind it.

"Behind this door…lies your mission…" Kakashi told them ominously.

This was it. Their first mission as ANBU-in-training. They had to do their absolute best, no doubt it would be horrifyingly dangerous and important to the safety of the village, everyone would be counting on them, and if they didn't accomplish it they would never be in ANBU…

The door opened.

Sasuke muttered muffled curses.

"Hey, what the hell!" Naruto protested angrily.

"It's just three stacks of paper on a table, sensei…" Sakura needlessly told him.

"Indeed," Kakashi sighed as he walked in and plopped into one of the four chairs, propping his feet on the table unceremoniously, "These are all the forms you have to fill out to undergo your training."

As the three followed their new sensei into the room with sour looks on their faces, Sasuke scoffed, "So you don't get sued if you screw up, you mean…"

Kakashi waved off Sasuke's statement, "To-MAY-to, To-MAH-to…" he drawled absently.

"Didn't we sign all this stuff before we even entered in the academy?" Sakura hazarded, as she picked up a piece of paper from one of the stacks and examined it. She grimaced, dreading what was to come. Man this was going to take _hours_…

"I remember doing this crap for the chunin exam too…" Naruto complained, as he eyed the three inch thick stacks of forms and liability papers with dismay.

"Saa…" he droned, (They were making it hard for him to play nice; maybe a demonstration of Yamato's _'Face-of-Death'-no-Justu_ was in order? Oh wait, he couldn't exactly do that with a mask, never mind.) "Just fill out the damn papers and we'll go over what you're going to be doing with me for the next year or two."

"We're stuck with you for that long?" Sasuke blurted.

Once again, I feel so loved. Why did I agree to this?

"Keep trash-talking me like that and you won't be. I have no obligation to be here." Well, he kind of did, but they didn't need to know that, "Sit down and after you finish we'll have a chat, kiddoes…"

"'_Kiddoes'_…" Sasuke repeated resentfully, as his teammates sat down in the chairs, took up pens and began filling out the papers.

"What was that Sasuke-kun?" Kakashi prompted, bring his hand to his ear, "I should ask Itachi-kohai about _which_ embarrassing story of yours?"

A raised eyebrow was the response. "What the hell…" Sasuke muttered as he scratched in his name and social security number. Naruto and Sakura however, were listening intently.

"The _puppy_ story you say?" Kakashi continued.

"Fuck, no!" The panicked expression and bugged out eyes were definitely a nice touch. Wow, he'd made that up but now he was _definitely_ going to ask Itachi about it. It sounded worth his time. Besides, a shinobi could always use more weapons. And _oh_ what a weapon this was proving to be…

Sakura and Naruto looked _very_ interested.

Kakashi shrugged, "That's alright," he droned in a bored tone, "I've already heard it anyways…"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "You haven't..." he accused.

A grey eye swiveled to meat the Uchiha's black orbs in a silent dare, "You a gambling man, Sasuke-_kun_?"

The Uchiha sighed aggravated, looked away in disgust, and then was suddenly very engrossed in filling out his home address and health insurance information. Kakashi smirked, but it probably couldn't be seen from beneath his mask, not that the three were paying attention anyways.

"Heh, apparently not…" the ANBU decided as he pulled out _Icha Icha Paradisu_.

---

"…Alright, so for homework, read page five and make sure you get a parent or guardian's signature on supervised shrunken throwing practice for tonight. Have a good afternoon!" Iruka smiled to his students as a bell tolled the time to go home.

"_Aww_," groaned a pupil as the pre-genin students exited the classroom at two in the afternoon, "I can't believe Iruka-sensei gave us homework on the _very first day…_"

"You said it," another student agreed heartily.

Although Iruka was very perceptive to his children's feelings, he only smiled at their complaints. They'd thank him for this when they were older and a perfect shuriken throw saved their lives on a mission.

It was the beginning of another year teaching at the academy, and Iruka couldn't help but be glad that the summer was over and he was back into his regular routine. Summers meant more missions and work in the mission's room, and although he was glad that he could perform his duty to Konoha, he didn't think there was a shinobi alive that _rejoiced_ in getting a mission. Besides, he usually ended up on Anko, Genma and Raido's Team, and although Raido-san was a very decent person, Genma and Anko frequently went out of their ways to remind Iruka that he used to be a Toukubetsu Jounin before stepping down to become a Teacher at the Academy and was Iruka maybe getting tired of teaching Hellions? Because they certainly wouldn't mind him assigned to their group _permanently_ instead of having a new person every mission…

Ah, the joys of having obnoxious friends.

Iruka wondered how Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were doing with Kakashi. It hadn't taken a genius to figure out that '_Just tell them to bring it to me tomorrow morning…'_ coupled with Jiraiya's message to Naruto that their ANBU-sensei was to meet them '_in the morning_' at the west gate bridge. It was too much of a coincidence to not be connected. The entire incident at Ichiraku could have been orchestrated for all Iruka knew. He _felt_ like he should know…

With that thought in mind, Iruka gathered his papers and the work the kids had done in-class to be graded at home, and opened the door to leave. Not really paying much attention as he walked down the halls, absently smiling to a fellow teacher who passed by, he couldn't help but think of yesterday.

I feel like I should know him, but we've never even been introduced…

He'd never really had an experience where he didn't know where he stood with someone before, and it was bothering him. After a trouble-making phase when he was younger, right after his parent's were killed by the kyubi and Yondaime had taken an interest in him, he'd suddenly found that making friends wasn't hard anymore. He'd just followed Yondaime's example, treating everyone he came across kindly with a smile, where most people had to 'know you' first before they would even consider calling you a friend.

In this way everyone became a potential friend. It had become something of a life's philosophy: That people could live up to your expectations if you only gave them the chance. A smile here, an encouragement there, and his students went farther than anyone in the shinobi community had ever thought they could. Iruka was perhaps the sole reason that Konoha even had Naruto or Rock Lee or a number of other very good Shinobi who at first glance were told and expected to fail as ninja, but succeeded despite the obstacles weighed against them.

If you offered your hand, they would take it.

Now, Kakashi…it felt like Iruka had already offered his hand. Or maybe, he'd asked Kakashi to offer his…

…

* * *

(…"_Thank you, Kashi-kun."_

"_It's not Kashi-kun. It's Kakashi"…)_

* * *

…

…But had he taken it?

The truth was that Iruka didn't know Kakashi at all, so he couldn't judge. He had heard precious little from Yondaime, who although he had expressed his desire to introduce the two and his belief that they would get along well, also respected the fact that Kakashi most certainly had _not _wanted such a thing for himself.

What exactly _had_ happened that day?...

…

* * *

_(…a sad grey-eye looking out from a second story window of Yondaime's house as Iruka and the fourth stood outside talking. Yondaime followed where Iruka's gaze had suddenly shifted and smiled kindly._

"_Kashi-kun! Why don't you come down with 'Ruka-kun and I?" he called._

_The owner of the eye shook his head and retreated into the shadows…)_

* * *

…

…Well, Iruka supposed it didn't matter. At least that was what his brain told him. Even with him being Naruto's teacher now, it wasn't likely that they would interact very often. Besides, Kakashi had always been a stand-off-ish person. He'd never once told Iruka hello, and that one occurrence at the window hadn't been the only time they'd spied each other back then.

But he'd seemed friendly enough yesterday…

…

* * *

_(…"Ja Mata 'Ruka-kun…"…)_

* * *

…

...Yondaime had called him 'Ruka-kun'. Was it some reminder that Kakashi still…still what? There was nothing to be 'still'ing about. That he still remembered, perhaps, although Iruka didn't really know why Kakashi would care about it. Iruka had been the one that his decision had been practically life-changing for. It really hadn't affected him at all, as far as Iruka knew.

Unless it_ did_.

But why _would_ it?

It _wouldn't._

Iruka sighed, he was thinking too much into this, but it was so hard to _know_, and that stark mask even covered his face, taking away that many more possible clues. Iruka just didn't like not knowing where he stood with people, and whatever was or wasn't between him and Kakashi was covered in an impenetrable fog. The only way to figure out if they were friends would be to ask, and Iruka couldn't see himself working up to that anytime soon. Not if yesterday was any indicator…

…

… He'd been such an idiot...

"Oh hey, Iruka-kun!"

The Sensei looked up upon hearing his name. He was right outside the academy, poised to begin the journey down the street to his and Naruto's apartment, but Genma's call from five yards down the road looked to be about to interrupt him.

As Genma closed the distance, (rather swiftly he might add) Iruka greeted him with a bow and a: "Konichiwa, Genma-sa—"

The Tokubetsu Jounin interrupted him, as he landed right next to the chunin panting, "_Hey-Iruka-kun-Izumo-can't-do-his-shift-at-the-missions-room-today-so-I'm-supposed-to-find-someone-who-could-and-I-was-kind-of-hoping-that-you-could-do-it-Arigato-Iruka-kun-Ja-mata!"_ And just as quickly he started running down the street again, with nothing but a swirl of dust to indicate he had been there to begin with.

…

…well, looked like Iruka was working the mission's desk this afternoon. He hated it when Genma volunteered him for things without asking.

Iruka quickly ran home and deposited the schoolwork he was to grade on the kitchen table and wrote a note to Naruto telling him he wouldn't be home until later, and where he was. He supposed the boy could take care of himself, and didn't strictly _need_ to be reassured where Iruka was, but the sensei couldn't help but worry about him.

Looking at the digital clock over the stove, he freaked. Izumo's shift was afternoon, from Two to Six, and right now there was no one to man the Mission's desk! Running out the front door he dashed down the street, wondering why Genma had to pass him, of all people, this afternoon.

---

They'd managed about an hour and a half of paperwork before the joint howling of the chunins' stomachs (and mouths) had forced them to a halt. The meal that Sakura had run out to get for them was deemed to be second breakfast by Naruto, and though it was enjoyed, the three were very disappointed that while averting their attention for but a moment while breaking their hashi, Kakashi had already devoured his entire bento box. The chunin weren't going to see his face this time…

Kakashi allowed them to chat a little after eating, and then commanded them to run twenty-five laps around the complex after careful stretching. By this time, it was about ten-thirty in the morning. Thus, the schedule had occurred something like this:

_6:30 Dawn/7:30 Kakashi meets team/7:45 Team begins paper work/9:15 Eat second breakfast/10:00 Begin laps/10:30 Finish laps._

"Saa…" Kakashi sighed as he pulled a chair over from the table, turned it around and sat in it backwards. Sakura was a little irritated, as before they had left the room that had been her seat. Naruto offered her his, but she refused and walked to the other side of the table to claim Kakashi's former chair as her own while Sasuke and Naruto resumed their previous places. Kakashi intertwined his fingers, placing them on the back of the chair, as the three chunin tried not to be impatient.

Time for the rules, Kakashi thought. He didn't expect any arguments, but then, no one had ever really argued at this point in the game. He sat perfectly still, only his grey eye moving to fix each of the chunin in turn with a mild gaze that still sent shivers down their spines despite the lack of hostility. They were just…cold eyes.

Sakura was once again drawn to notice the strange paleness of the shinobi's skin and the hollows under his eyes; something that hadn't seemed important when he was just another nameless person on the street. To her, he looked ill, and being a medical ninja, she couldn't help but want to ask him if he were feeling well, but didn't quite dare.

The Kunoichi mentally berated herself. She'd nearly forgotten…

…

* * *

_(… "What's this all about, Shizune-san?" Sakura asked confusedly as she sat down across from her tutor in Medical Ninjutsu and friend in on of the smaller meeting rooms not being used at the moment._

_The Black haired Kunoichi held up a medical information folder and passed an identical one to Sakura, who read the name imprinted on the label and stared._

"_Shizune-san this is…this is Hatake Kakashi medical records!" Sakura gaped, "What is this doing here? Why are you giving me this!"_

"_Don't worry it's just a copy," Shizune sighed, "We need your help on this, Tsunade-hime and I."_

"_Why would you need my help?" Sakara asked and listened for the answer as she scanned the file. Damn, Kakashi had a long list of Injuries. The list was noticeably longer than most, but only because of how long he'd been performing missions: Over twenty years. He didn't get hurt much more or less than any other ninja. The village gave you missions depending on your skill, and no matter how skilled Kakashi was, there was always a mission out there to test him._

…_Poisoned/Un-identified neurotoxin resulting in three day coma: healed via medical ninjutsu and pharmaceuticals; nine day hospitalization. Overuse of Sharingan/Chakra-strain: two weeks hospitalization. Broken right forearm: healed via medical ninjutsu; No hospitalization. Lacerations on back, left shoulder and hip: partially healed via medical ninjutsu; 87 stitches; two day hospitalization. Dehydration and Exhaustion: One day observation hospitalization. Puncture of the left lung cavity: healed via medical ninjutsu two days hospitalization..._

_The list went on. _

"_Kakashi has been on leave for two weeks. Tsunade-hime thought a week off might calm his nerves but he just keeps getting worse. He's a danger on missions; we need to figure out how to treat him. And what's worse os he's practically phobic of doctors and waking up in hospitals. Most of his hospitalizations were experienced either while unconscious or after being put under, or sometimes he wasn't actually hospitalized, but left in the care of a medic while he stayed in his own house." Shizune informed her._

_Sakura stopped reading through the hospitalization records and moved on to long term medical issues and began reading aloud._

"—_psychosomatic illness resulting in non-epileptic seizures which mimic Absence and Atonic Seizures. Subject suffers from high levels of physical and mental stress and chakra strain and reoccurring flashbacks and minor depression. Other somatic symptoms are sudden tremors predominately of the hands and but occasionally torso, sweating, sudden chill, body-aches especially in the joints fatigue and muscle weakness. It is believed that seizures and flashbacks are if not a direct result, than irritated by the presence of the Sharingan…"_

_Sakura sighed, "So you want me on the case because my sister implanted the sharingan."_

_Shizune nodded, "Other reasons too, but that's the most obvious one."_

"_But, we're just medical Nin and if this is right then practically all of his symptoms are physical manifestations of his psychological symptoms probably irritated by the Sharingan. I mean it is connected to his brain after all and Chakra depleting out that eye all the time must drive him crazy…" Sakura shook her head, "What he needs is a therapist or a psychologist. I'm no good at that Shizune, you know I'm not."_

"_One of our best Psychology specializing medical ninjutsu and genjutsu specialists sort of retired a number of years ago. We're thinking of getting him in on it, but Tsunade's going to wait until after you, Naruto and Sasuke have been assigned an ANBU first."_

"_That would help," Sakura rubbed her eyes and sighed, "Hatake-sama sounds like a wreck."_

_Shizune leaned on her elbow, "You haven't seen him without his ANBU mask: he is a wreck."_

"_So next week huh?"_

"_Yes. You, me, Tsunade-hime and hopefully our medical ninjutsu/genjutsu specialist"…)_

* * *

…

…Sakura could almost have cried. Shizune had been right.

Sasuke was reminded of his brother's gaze, and how Itachi's strange calm had always hidden so much pain and despair. The Uchiha knew that his brother very much respected one Hatake Kakashi, but as of yet he hadn't seemed very deserving of it. Sasuke would have to remain cautious around this man…

Despite Naruto's reputation for being unperceptive, a couple years with Jiraiya had taught him how to be a better ninja and still be himself, but besides that, he had always been able to identify how people felt, and yesterday at the ramen shop, Iruka had been very off while next to Kakashi. Naruto had not connected that situation with his team's at-the-time-'current mission', but he hadn't forgotten it none the less…

…

* * *

_(…"Wow, I can't believe our luck! Isn't it great Naruto-kun?… Naruto?" Sakura repeated as the three chunin moved to the corner of the ramen stand to look over the book they had just been given. One of the group, wasn't so much enthralled in the text as he was in the exchange taking place on the **other** side of the stand_

_Something strange was going on with Iruka. He was trying to hide it, but Naruto could just **tell**. _

_The kyubi-no-gaki pried his attention from his former sensei and the new ANBU to answer Sakura, "Ahh, nothing, just reading this part," he lied. Sakura, as great and insightful as she was, wouldn't have understood what was different about their former teacher._

"_Which part?" she asked scanning the page, interested. Sasuke wasn't really paying attention, he was mostly trying to flip through the pages while still letting Sakura and Naruto view the page they were on._

_If it sounds impossible than you are pretty much right: It wasn't working very well. For Sasuke anyways._

"_This one here," Naruto pointed randomly, and Sakura let up on her questioning to read the paragraph. Apparently it **was** interesting, as she kept reading and didn't bother him further._

"_Ano…" Iruka quietly began, addressing the stranger. If Naruto hadn't been **really**_ _listening, he wouldn't have even heard Iruka speak. It was still hard to make out with all the noise and since when was Iruka freaking paranoid? Naruto would swear to the Tiki gods that he was slurring his mouth movements on purpose. Lip reading was out of the question._

"_Is it okay to just ---- ---- - bingo book ---- that?" Iruka asked. Naruto mentally frowned; he had missed some words, but he got the gist of it, well enough. The remark was in character, but the tone of his voice led Naruto into believing that his practically-parent wasn't saying what he really wanted to say. _

_Which was strange…_

"_Saa…" the man at the center of Iruka's strange behavior drawled, "They are ----- --…" (Gahh! Why does he wear that mask, it makes it very hard (read: impossible) to lip read with the damn thing on!) "…----- -------, ne? It doesn't matter…"_

"_Oh…" Iruka said small-ly. One might ask how someone can say something 'small-ly', but Naruto definitely classified that as a small-ly stated 'oh'. Was Iruka intimidated? Why? Iruka-sensei had never really been afraid to speak his mind to anyone, it didn't matter their rank. He was always courteous, but he was also honest and determined._

"_Saa, I've gotta go," the unnamed ANBU suddenly said and languidly dropped a couple coins on the table before getting up from his chair._

_Naruto narrowed his eyes slightly. If all ANBU moved like this guy, he'd hate to have one after him (not that he couldn't take 'im of course!) but damn…it was like watching water flow…_

"_Nani?" Iruka stammered confusedly. What was Iruka-sensei's deal? He was a little pale…"But, your book—"_

_Had that guy's bowl been that empty to begin with? Naruto hadn't noticed a single slurp of noodles taking place over there…_

_The shinobi made a shoulder movement that was sort of like a shrug, except there wasn't even a rustling sound from the fabric of his shirt or vest. Did all ANBU where black instead of Navy as part of their uniform? He didn't think he'd ever really seen it before…_

_The stranger tilted his head, saying "Just ---- ---- -- ----- -- -- -- -------- -------…" (Gahh! Turn up the volume!)_

_Iruka looked uncertain, "I don't…" he began, but the stranger just slipped out into the crowd._

_Without HIS BOOK!_

"_Hey!" Naruto called to his former teacher, Sakura and Sasuke protested loudly at the effect his supremely-loud voice was having on their ears, "Where's he going Iruka-sensei? Doesn't he want his book?"_

"…" _Iruka didn't respond, he just stared into the now ANBU-less street, then his head slowly turned to gaze intently at the now vacant seat. Something between consternation and…Naruto didn't know. _

"_Iruka-sensei?" Naruto repeated._

"_Oh, gomen!" Iruka apologized, his expression now bright and cheerful. "What did you say Naruto-kun?" he asked._

_This was…very weird._

"…_it's nothing Iruka-sensei…" Naruto responded. If it came up again, he'd ask Iruka-sensei about it, but only then._

"_You sure?" Iruka confirmed._

"_Yeah."…)_

* * *

…

…This morning Iruka had been a little strange too…

…

* * *

(…_Naruto came down the hall pulling on his jacket; a little bleary-eyed but none-the-less sentient as he entered the kitchen. Naruto wasn't sure if the same was true for Sasuke, who was just sitting at their kitchen table, his eyes glazed over as he blinked repeatedly. He'd slept over the night before, but that wasn't the problem. Sasuke was really **not**_ _a morning person, not without his coffee, anyways._

_Behind the half-asleep Uchiha, brewing tea (and coffee, Iruka and Naruto didn't really drink it, but as previously stated, Sasuke did,) was a fully dressed Iruka. _

"_Ahh, Iruka-sensei, you didn't have get up when we did!" Naruto scolded, trying to take over the job of making the tea and coffee. Iruka just pushed him down into a chair. Stubborn guy, always trying to take care of him… Naruto **never** won a chore-war with Iruka-sensei…the man had a good ten years more experience at mother-henning…_

_Iruka just smiled, "It's okay," he said, "I already made breakfast for you two," He had, it was on the table, "It's your first day so and you have to make sure you eat your breakfast, I know how you and Sasuke just grab whatever if you take anything at all…"_

"_Hmmmn…" Sasuke gurgled. Neither of the two was sure whether it was argument, agreement or just a result of his comatose-like state of consciousness, so they ignored it._

"_Yeah, I guess so." Naruto responded before he shoveled food in his mouth. Sasuke followed suit, robotically. Iruka was pretty good at cooking, especially for a bachelor. Naruto on the other hand, had never been very good at following directions, even the ones in cookbooks…_

_The coffeepot beeped that it was done and Sasuke showed his first sign of life as Iruka poured java into the coffee mug that they only used when the Uchiha was over._

"_Jiraiya-sama said dawn, right?" Iruka clarified as he sat down at the table with the two teens. Naruto nodded._

"_In the morning…I see…" Iruka said vaguely as his eyes glazed slightly, showing that he was thinking of something. His expression grew harder and harder to define as he zoned out._

"_Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked, "What are you thinking about?"_

_Iruka blinked slightly "Oh, nothing. Make sure that you bring the Bingo Book this morning."_

_Naruto frowned in confusion, "Okay, but why?"_

"…_I…" Iruka hesitated. It was quiet except for Sasuke's rhythmic chewing, as Naruto waited for the sensei to explain himself._

"…_I…um…" He repeated, his eyes distant. _

"…_I…I think it's almost time for you to meet Sakura at the bridge."_

_Huh? Naruto looked over at the clock over the stove; it flashed 5:57. They were supposed to meet Sakura at 6:00._

"_Shit!"_

"_Naruto watch your language!" Iruka called after him as Naruto dragged Sasuke out the door…_

* * *

…

…Weird. Iruka didn't usually do that sort of thing. And Kakashi seemed to be the reason behind it all…

…hey wait…'_bring the bingo book this morning'…_

Iruka had known the whole time!

Having come to this startling revelation, Naruto was contemplating what to do to get back on Iruka when, he was interrupted by Kakashi finally speaking up.

"Hn…Listen up: this is the training schedule," Kakashi said, his visual eye closed, as his voice became severe, "I am here to teach you the techniques and methodology of the ANBU Operative in a one-on-one—or in this case one-on-three—fashion. This is an informal substitute for undergoing ROOT-training. This being so, you graduate when _I_ say, _not_ when _you_ think you're ready, and _not_ when your 'little friends'—if you happen to have any—graduate. _Wakarimasu?"_

"We understand," the three said in unison.

Kakashi nodded slowly before continuing, "We will undergo training everyday, starting at dawn unless otherwise specified by myself—"

"Yeah, because today we started at dawn…" Sasuke mumbled.

"—Sarcasm will be tolerated, however, take note the amount you grumble will be proportional to the amount of torment I put you through and inversely proportional to the amount of niceness I treat you with—"

"Is 'niceness' even a word?" Naruto remarked absently.

"Yes," Kakashi answered, not missing a beat, "Now finish your paperwork, or we can't do anything tomorrow."

Kakashi stood up from his (Sakura's) seat and all three couldn't help but envy the way he ghosted across the room with seemingly no effort put into his frighteningly silent movement. "I'll be back in a couple minutes…" he informed them easily, but the way he looked at them with his single grey eye made them shiver. The ANBU opened the door then exited the room, letting it close behind him.

A few seconds passed before anyone spoke.

"Did anyone else notice that his alleged 'training schedule' was nonexistent?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto screwed up his face in thought before his expression took on a look of surprise, "Huh, he didn't!" he realized, "I'd been wondering where that feeling of incompleteness was coming from…"

"He's kind of…eccentric," Sakura admitted. She thought about mentioning Kakashi's health problems but decided against it. It was a private matter.

"He's kind of _crazy_," Sasuke clarified, "Itachi-onii-san always said he was insane…"

"As if he's one to talk, Sasuke-kun," Naruto said, causing the Uchiha to frown, "But what's _more_ important, is that I just realized that Iruka-sensei knew all about Kakashi being our sensei! And I don't think Iruka likes him!"

"What!" Sakura exclaimed.

"What are you talking about Uzumaki?" Sasuke demanded to know.

"He was acting weird all yesterday and this morning; and only _after_ we met up with Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto argued. Sasuke and Sakura eyed each other, wondering if this was another of Naruto's fantasies or something more real. Iruka _had_ been a little off after ramen the day before…

"Explain…" Sasuke asked, prompting the boy to continue.

Naruto nodded, and Sakura and Sasuke leaned in to hear what the blond had to say, "Well here's what I saw…"

---

When he had said a couple minutes?

Yeah…he'd lied…

Kakashi walked down the hall to a door with a plate that read 'file room' next to it. It had been ages since he'd been in this building…he hadn't had a non-ANBU mission in how long? At least five years, was his guess. Opening the door, he gave no sign of surprise or fear upon seeing the four enigmatic Hyuga Jounin, three male and one female, who blocked the short, plain hallway leading to yet another door. He also didn't so much as flutter an eyebrow at the powerful jutsu dispelling seal he'd just passed through.

All four ninja were eying him warily, their hands in the form of seals and their kekkai genkai: the Byakugan, unlocked.

"_You recognize his chakra pattern?"_ The oldest male asked his teammate (they looked to be brothers of a similar age), in a whisper that was ordinarily inaudible to the human hearing range.

Or course, Kakashi was anything but ordinary.

"_No."_ was the brother's response.

"_Neither do I," _the last male, a young fellow, agreed_, "You suppose he could be an invader?_"

"_I think that's unlikely," _the kunoichi, who was the oldest and seemed to be in charge, said.

_Now_ Kakashi remembered why he never came over here; the security was a pain in the ass…

They eyed him, most likely going over his person with their Byakugan's, making sure he wasn't carrying anything suspicious; the ninja closest to him even going so far as glower distrustfully at him. It was the young one who wasn't that old, around seventeen was Kakashi's guess. It was strange how he considered seventeen to be young when not so long ago they were slapping the rank of Jounin on shinobi at the ages of ten and eleven…

Thank the ninja-gods those days were over…

The young Hyuga continued to glare at him and a few seconds passed in which they had an impromptu staring contest, before the completely uninterested and bored gaze that Kakashi was sending back at him made the boy irritated enough look away out of spite.

The young: so easily manipulated…

The female Hyuga momentarily fixed Kakashi with her gaze. She was in her late twenties, and definitely had _not_ missed what had just transpired. Something told Kakashi that her teenaged teammate was going to get a lecture in the very near future.

"Are you here to examine a file, shinobi?" the Kunoichi inquired.

Why _else_ would he be here? It certainly wasn't because he wanted to be.

"I have permission to extract three files," he corrected.

And then there was that…

The Kunoichi nodded, "We need to see your shinobi identification card. And we need verification from the Hokage for the files' removal from the archives."

Kakashi reached into his flak jacket and pulled out said card along with a scroll that Godaime had sent to him yesterday afternoon after he'd given her the news. Luckily he'd brought his card today; he usually didn't, even though everyone was supposed to have theirs on their person at all times.

It vaguely occurred to him that when Sasuke had expression disbelief of his identity that he might have shown his shinobi identification card instead of his Sharingan but then again that wouldn't have been near as fun.

Accepting both the card and the scroll, the Kunoichi gave the document to one of the brothers to scrutinize, as the teen looked on as she examined the license. The card in question looked blank, but the kunoichi didn't say anything; it was to be expected. Flashing a surprisingly complex combination of seals, she channeled her chakra into the card, revealing the information for verification.

"Oh, shit!_ Sharingan no Kakashi!_" The young one paled, upon seeing the name and picture on the card.

Kakashi averted his eyes; he hated this part of the job. Why couldn't his students have been put into ROOT for at least a day, so he could pick up their files at the ANBU complex? At least then no one would give him weird looks, and he could even wear his ANBU-gear. He felt naked, walking around here in a ninja-filled place without it. And now these three could spot him out on the streets…sigh, this sucked…

The brothers finished with the scroll, and having performed the necessary seals to unlock its contents, handed it to the Kunoichi for further opinions. Looking it over, her face showed no emotion. Not even upon hearing his identity, or at the fact that the _Hokage_ had given him a scroll for the _removal of a shinobi's personal files from the archive_. No doubt it was unheard of, completely removing a file.

Well, for them anyways, he used to do this all the time.

"…I really _don't_ have all day…" he informed them wearily, after a lengthy silence in which the scroll and card were read and reread.

The kunoichi nodded, handing back both items, "I apologize; you may enter." She and the youngest of the shinobi continued to stand by the door as the two brothers entered with him, watching him as he perused the many cabinets of documentation to remove three _very_ thick manila folders bearing the names of Uzumaki, Naruto; Haruno, Sakura; and Uchiha, Sasuke.

In those packed folders contained detailed information on the chunins' pasts; including their reports from every mission they'd ever taken, notes from teachers, colleagues, tests from their time in the Academy and proctors notes from their chunin exams.

Ugh, he had a lot of reading tonight…and not of the '_fun'_ variety…

Upon leaving the file room, the young Hyuga Jounin stared at him again, and Kakashi tried not to look uncomfortable. He didn't like it when people stared at him…

Leaving the building, he ran to his apartment and deposited the files in his ANBU-issue fully warded, sealed and booby-trapped safe, placed in the least accessible but still very unlikely place for a hidden super-secret-armored box. No one was freaking getting that thing. And sad to say, even if someone did, he'd just have Pakkun track the sent and the poor sap would very likely be _dead_.

Realizing he was hungry, Kakashi used his location to his advantage and made himself something to eat. Then, he sat down to digest his food while reading a little _Icha Icha_ before glancing at the clock and not particularly caring that it was yelling _12:30 _at him.

A little later than he'd planned, but that was okay. Eh, they'd probably be getting hungry about now; they'd forget all about it if he brought them food. Deciding this was what he was going to do, Kakashi braved the horrible lunch crowd (they _soo_ owed him) and got Ichiraku take out.

They reacted pretty much as he'd expected. They were pretty predictable, really. Boring even; when were they going to do something randomly crazy? Oh well.

Opening the door, he was greeted by a chorus of "YOU'RE LATE!"

Luckily he'd prepared for just such an encounter.

"Saa..." Kakashi said in complete seriousness, "I was walking across the street when a ghost told me it'd tell me my future and—"

"You expect us to believe that? We're not _stupid_!" Sakura interjected, jumping up in her chair to stab at him balefully with her finger. Kakashi might have been scared if…never mind, Sakura just wasn't intimidating. Not with that pink hair.

"You're a worse liar than Iruka-sensei!" Naruto informed the ANBU, "At least his are realistic, even if his delivery is crap!"

Sasuke shot a _Glare of Imminent Death_. Kakashi mentally decided that he and Tenzo should freaking join a club. They both produced very scary faces. Fortunately Kakashi freaking _invented_ the crazy-angst-badass-teen-shinobi image and thus was immune to Sasuke's charms or lack there of. Tenzo on the other hand…

"Saa…" he sighed, turning up his grey eye to stare at the ceiling as if in thought, "I guess you don't want this Ichiraku take out," he drawled, "_Hmm_…I suppose I could just give it to those guys in the missions office…"

Sakura was all smiles, "Gomen nasai, Kakashi-sensei; we believe you. I'm sure it was a horrible ordeal!" she cooed.

Naruto laughed nervously before his expression collapsed into drooling, "Yeah, you're lies are awesome you should win an award!"

Well, he could honestly say he'd never heard that one before.

"Hn…" Sasuke said. Kakashi supposed it could count as an apology.

The plastic bag was taken to the table, which now had three stacks of complete documentation and a number of extra papers with doodles and tic-tac-toe squares: the evidence of boredom. Another paper with the words _Iruka+Kakashi? _and_ Connection?_ written on it with the random question marks and scribbles of someone who was frustrated.

Kakashi made up his mind to steal that paper and burn it. If they asked him about Iruka in a way that he couldn't worm himself out of, Kakashi would tell them. They had a right to know. Especially Naruto. But hopefully it wouldn't be today. He wasn't sure if he could handle it.

The contents of the bag (Kakashi had pretty-much gotten one of everything, he'd noticed how much Naruto ate the day before. His pocket book was suffering from it, but this wasn't going to be a daily occurrence so it could handle it this once,) were passed around and everything was soon devoured.

Slurping the last of the noodles, Naruto put down his bowl with a satisfied sigh, "_Gochisosama_!" he thanked Kakashi, who just shrugged.

"Now to business," Sakura suddenly said seriously and Sasuke and Naruto were also unexpectedly sober-faced, "Kakashi sensei…what we want to know is…well…" she began, not quite sure how to pose their question to the man half-sitting, half-leaning on the edge of the table.

"We want to know why you and Iruka are so weird around each other!"

"Naruto!" Sakura scolded, "Well, that is what we wanted to know, but…"

Kakashi stared at them. Hard.

The three simultaneously gulped, at the still figure; so motionless that their eyes would slid right over him except for his striking palidness against his dark uniform.

"Iruka you say?" he asked them casually, silently moving to look up at the ceiling in thought as if he couldn't quite remember who Iruka referred to.

They nodded expectantly.

"Well…" he intoned.

They leaned in close, ready for the answer.

"We've never been introduced."

Yup. The absolute truth.

"Come on!" Naruto protested, springing from his seat to bang his fists on the table angrily, "That's got to be a lie; I saw how you two were acting yesterday! You made him uncomfortable! If you hurt Iruka-sensei I'll fucking kick your ass _so hard_—"

"Calm down, Naruto-kun! We don't know anything about the situation!" Sakura pleaded, trying to shove him back into his seat.

"Dobe, he's trying to trick us again." Sasuke told him, "Just because they haven't been introduced, doesn't mean they don't know each other, he might not be lying. He's just dodging the question," he turned to Kakashi.

Sasuke nearly missed the fact that Kakashi had slipped his hands into his pocket, that sort of movement was hard to miss when you were looking right at a person, even _if_ they were an ANBU, but even so he almost didn't catch it. Kakashi just seemed to blend into the scenery.

Kakashi he feeling uncomfortable, Sasuke wondered? Strange…

"How do you know Iruka-sensei?" Sasuke produced a _Tell-me-or-DIE Glare_.

Kakashi just looked at him completely soundless, with his most innocent expression.

Innocent? Yeah, right.

"I don't know him at all," Kakashi answered. _Truth_.

Naruto frowned, "Then why was Iruka acting messed up yesterday and this morning?"

Kakashi shrugged his shoulders, but they didn't hear so much as a rustle, "Saa, I'm sure I don't know." He didn't. And what happened this morning?

Naruto came to stare straight at him with a frown and Kakashi forced himself to meet his eyes. The same blue eyes that had always managed to see straight through his every deception in the past. Those were the Fourth's eyes…

…

"You're _sure_ you don't know," Naruto probed. He wasn't as good as Sasuke at glaring, but he was slightly angry when his gaze didn't have the desired affect. Kakashi's eyes seemed slightly vague, as if he was barely paying attention. Seeing something else that no one else in the room could. Unbeknownst to anyone else, Sakura narrowed her eyes at the seen in understanding and worry.

"Positive," Kakashi stated.

He crushed his blond eyebrows together, "You're certain?"

"Absolutely."

They continued to stare, neither letting up. Kakashi blinked and suddenly that penetrating cold was back and Naruto didn't dare question him. Naruto sighed, dropped his gaze and crossing his arms in frustration, "_Something's_ going on," he declared but stepped down, flopping back in his seat, sulkily.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura spoke up suddenly and the rest of her team and their sensei turned to acknowledge her. Very seriously she asked, "You're very pale, and I'm pretty sure your hands are shaking…are you well?"

"I'm fine." Kakashi answered, but it tasted a lie even on his own tongue.

"You know you're not," the medical Kunoichi told him gravely. Sakura held her hands up to begin a seal and when Kakashi didn't protest, she flashed hand-sign after hand-sign, while channeling chakra to her eyes.

"Find anything?" he asked sincerely interested. He'd been told that Sakura was a medical prodigy like her sister, but he'd never seen it himself. It brought back memories…

"Nothing in particular," she looked at him distrustfully as if he were hiding something (which he was), believing just as fervently as Naruto that something was not right, "But you need to stop dislocating the fingers in your left hand or you're going to have Athritis something awful in a couple of years."

He'd been told that before, but if he had to dislocate his pinky to get out of a death trap, hell: he was going to do it. He would live to experience that arthritis and bitch about it.

"Saa…and I'm not even thirty…" he complained to no one in particular.

"Which says something about how many times it's been pulled out of its socket. You're left handed?" she inquired.

Since when had this become an inquisition? Kakashi thought, not liking where this was going at all.

"Ambidextrous," he answered. Wasn't everyone? He forgot sometimes.

"I see," she said, then leaned in a little closer, trying to whisper, but everyone heard anyway, "Just so you know, Shizune told me a little about what's going on. She and I were supposed to get together next week about it."

Oh…he hadn't been aware of that…

"So that's what she was bothering me about the other day," Kakashi realized.

"What's going on?" Naruto asked, "Were you holding out on us Sakura?" he accused.

"Medical business. Non-disclosable," she defended, "And I wasn't told Kakashi was going to be our sensei, I thought they were mutually exclusive."

"Sure you did." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"I did!" the kunoichi objected.

Sasuke interjected, "Something is up, one way or another and don't bother denying it, Kakashi-sensei, I don't know when you stole our notes," (Notes, you call those notes? All it said was _Kakashi+Iruka, Connection?_ With random doodles), "But they aren't here anymore, which is enough proof for me."

What Sasuke don't know was Kakashi would have stolen the no matter who it said he had a connection with, whether it be true or false just because he didn't want someone finding it and assuming there _was_ a connection. He was a paranoid bastard, which was probably why he was still alive.

Apparently Sasuke hadn't thought of that. Unfortunately, he happened to right despite himself.

Sasuke frowned when the momentary opening he left for Kakashi to get on with said denying was not taken, but continued, "So let me get this straight, you say you've never been introduced to Iruka and that you don't know him and you don't know why he was acting weird yesterday, is that right?"

"Seems to be," Kakashi answered, and was suddenly nervous. Eventually Sasuke would ask the right question and Kakashi would either have to lie or give a decent reason not to answer or have his proverbial guts spilled out for all to see. He wasn't sure he could handle that. Not today. He'd tell them eventually, but when he was up to it.

"I want a definite answer," Sasuke growled.

"Just so you know, you guys can leave as long as your paperwork is filled out," Kakashi told them. They probably wouldn't take it, but hey, at least when he left he wouldn't have to explain himself. Not that he had anything to do right now…Oh wait, he had all that reading, damn.

"Dodging the question again?" Sasuke accused.

"Just informing you of your circumstances," Kakashi said neutrally, as he tried to figure out which of those three files he was going to tackle first. Crap, and he had to take all that paperwork down to the ANBU building, he'd forgotten about that, too.

"Of course," Sasuke mocked.

"Naturally," Kakashi agreed easily not giving any indication he'd heard the scorn in his student's voice. Kakashi was _soo_ going to see Itachi soon and demand every embarrassing story he knew involving Sasuke.

"Have you ever spoken to Iruka before?" Sasuke began as if conducting a police interview in a homicide investigation: Kakashi being the main murder suspect.

"Yes," he answered. That one was obvious: He did just yesterday. But obviously the Uchiha was leading up to something.

"How often?"

_Like never_, "Only two occasions that I remember."

He might have said '_hn_' once or twice to him when he was young but he doubted it. Him as a kid made a young Sasuke look glib.

"What did you talk about?" Sasuke continued. Mercilously.That was a pretty personal question. Not at all the way would he have handled it. It could have been sex for the chunin knew.

"Which time?" Kakashi asked.

"Whichever time wasn't yesterday morning," Sasuke clarified.

"Those were private conversations."

Sasuke's eyes glinted, he thought he had Kakashi. In a way he did, but the ANBU still wasn't going to talk. He just couldn't. Sorry Sasuke, maybe some other time, and this story isn't for you, anyways.

Sakura interrupted, quietly, "Sasuke-kun, stop. He's right, this is personal information we're asking; he shouldn't have to tell us anything. He's our teacher it's not like when you interrogate Ino or Lee for info."

"Maybe if we'd done this to Mizuki-teme when we knew there was something the hell wrong with him, then certain things mightn't have happened!" Sasuke argued angrily and both and Sakura lowered her eyes as Naruto tried to melt into his chair.

"Yeah but, this doesn't seem right," the kunoichi explained, "You don't know what I know about Kakashi-sensei and I don't think—"

"It's not as if it's going to kill him Sakura-chan!" Sasuke replied.

Sakura leaned in close to Sasuke trying to whisper-yell, "You don't get it Sasuke: It might!"

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke snapped.

"Well, not kill him exactly but…Oh, never mind. I'll tell you later," when was Sakura going to realize whispering within a twenty-foot radius of him was pointless? She sucked at whispering to begin with, everyone in the room heard her earlier.

"I don't want my health information disclosed without my permission," he said and was frankly irritated to find no one was paying attention.

"No, Sakura-chan," Sasuke went on despite Sakura discomfort and Naruto's sudden silence, "Every time people in charge of us start hiding things from us shit happens and I'm fed up of it. If it's going to happen this time too, I'm going to make sure I see it coming. Maybe we'll have a chance to dodge."

He'd had just about enough of this.

"If it's coming from me, you won't dodge it anyways," Kakashi interrupted harshly.

They all looked at him. How the hell did they keep forgetting he was there? Was he that forgettable?

Obviously this was a little of what Tsunade and Jiraiya wanted him to cure them of. He hadn't realized it was so bad. He knew about the incident with Mizuki three years ago and he'd known it had affected them, and Orochimaru's betrayal couldn't have been a good influence on Sasuke but…Kakashi had gravely underestimated the situation. He'd thought all they'd need was extra instruction, maybe a little wake-up call and some careful management that they wouldn't get in ROOT. What they really needed was healing. And Kakashi wasn't sure if he could care for them when he was broken, and barely holding together himself.

He'd thought Sasuke would be the one pulling away from the group, but no, that was Naruto. Trying to take his problems and hide it from everyone else so no one could see his pain. He kept trying to ignore the things that were making him uncomfortable and put on a smile despite his suffering.

Sasuke was confronting what was eating at him; confronting it in a direct and almost violent way that solved nothing and made things worse. He was being controlling and overprotective of his friends and suspicious and paranoid of anyone else.

Sakura seemed to be fairing the best but it was clear she was finding it hard to cope with the need to help her teammates and her inability to do it all by herself. Eventually she'd lose heart and be just as miserable as her male counterparts.

Dammit, Tsunade should have picked Tenzo. They needed someone nice. He didn't do nice. At least not well…

"You've been hurt in the past…" Kakashi began quietly.

Sasuke winced, and a look of pure, hot rage engulfed his face, eyes flashing red as his Sharinagan activated, "What do you know about it!"

Fire met Ice.

Kakashi sat perfectly still in his chair, strikingly white against his black shinobi uniform, grey eye, burning cold, "Shut up and listen to me."

Ice won.

"You think it's all about you," Kakashi stated, meeting Sasuke's red Sharingan eyes with his one grey one, "You're suspicious. You've trusted and you've been betrayed and you think I'm going to do the same because that's what everyone has done, but I'm not everyone else.

"Your brother ran off to Akatsuki to get himself killed. He betrayed you when he said he'd take care of you, when he said he'd always be there. You're parents, family and clan, who you loved, were going to give you to Orochimaru so he could take over your body. Mizuki was supposed to help you. He tried to kill Naruto, your best friend. You ended up killing him yourself.

"Orochimaru promised to make you strong enough to be above failure and lose. He said he could take your feelings away. He lied to you in every way. And that's just you. that's not even counting Naruto and Sakura's disappointments and hardships.

"And you think I've come to lie to you too. Now you're just looking for the signs. It's happened so often you see them everywhere. There's no end to it.

"May I drop dead in the streets if what I tell you now is false: I want nothing of that for any of you. I've seen it. I've felt it. Now listen to me. I will _never_ betray you or ask you to give up on one another.

"Tsunade seems to think I can fix you three when I can't even fix myself and we'll see. Maybe you three will even manage to help put me back together.

"No one's invincible. I can't promise you you'll win every battle, I can't even promise I'll win every battle. I've failed before, I will again. But I will always do my very best for you. And if you ever have any doubt on that, you tell me. And if that doesn't work, tell Tsunade. You deserve someone who will give everything of themselves. And you should demand that for and of _your_selves."

Silence.

"And I think that perhaps you do deserve to know what happened all those years ago. But I can't tell you right now. You have healing: as I said, so do I, and I'm not strong enough yet. Maybe 'Ruka-kun will tell you." Kakashi sighed, not bothering to correct his use of Yondaime's pet-name for Iruka.

Everyone was quiet. Sasuke was staring at him strangely, Sharingan no longer active. He looked bewildered, as if he wasn't sure if he should laugh, cry or get angry. Naruto looked hopeful, and he was tentatively smiling at the ground. Mizuki had had white hair too, Kakashi realized, maybe an alarm hadn't immediately went off, Naruto wasn't like that, but doubtless he'd thought about their similarities and despaired at the possibility that they were comparable in more than just appearance.

Sakura had listened intently, but halfway through his impromptu little spiel she had begun frowning when Kakashi's hands started trembling so violently that their impact on his chair was audible, not to mention bruise-worthy.

"Now, are you all quite finished with your paperwork?" he asked them tiredly.

No one answered, for a moment so caught up they were in their own thoughts that they couldn't.

"…yeah," Sasuke finally answered and Naruto and Sakura nodded as well.

"Staple everything that was signed and everyone can go." The ANBU said with a tone of finality as he pointed to the stapler that none of them had noticed was in the room.

Sasuke stapled his first and Naruto followed, finally handing the stapler over to Sakura. Naruto and Sasuke left the room right away, but Sakura hung back.

"Ano, Kakashi-sensei…" she began, nervously but determinedly.

"Hn?" Kakashi asked. He hadn't moved from his place sitting on the edge of the table, his heavy-lidded eye completely closed. He was so still, except for his hands that he might have been asleep. Sakura barely held back the instinct to demand he sit in a chair for safety.

Sakura sighed, "It's nothing, it's just…I know you hate doctors, so do you have anywhere to go where someone can take care of you. I just don't think you should be left alone right now, you're ill, even if you don't want to admit it. In Shizune's report she said you had horrible flashbacks and even psychogenic non-epileptic seizures that mimic Absence seizures or even Atonic seizures and that can be pretty dangerous…"

Naruto and Sasuke had begun talking to someone in the hall, but both shinobi were too preoccupied to pay proper attention to the conversation.

Kakashi didn't so much as move except for the shaking of his hands despite the fact he'd crossed his arms some time ago without Sakura registering the movement. She found his stillness eerie.

"Saa…Sakura-chan," Kakashi shook his head, the movement fluid, "Try not to worry about taking care of me. You've got enough to worry about with the two hot-heads for one day, and you said you, Shizune and I would behaving a little chat next week so we can talk more about this then. I'll be fine."

She sighed heavily again, "…Are you sure?" she asked a final time.

"I'm sure." He sounded certain, and even in the last few minutes, Sakura had learned to trust her new sensei in a way she'd never been able to trust anyone but Godaime, but she _didn't_ trust him not to get sicker while her head was turned.

Damn, but he was an adult, so she had no choice, hopefully he was right.

Sakura walked to the door and slid it open. She was about to step out into the hall when she heard a horrible sound she'd seen coming but been unable to do anything about: the sound of a dropping body.

"_Kakashi-sensei!"_

---

Reviews!

**Snow887**, sorry it didn't get updated very soon, for some reason I had a lot of trouble finishing this chapter, but here it is!

**Uniquewriter**, thanks about my writing style. I'm still fully getting into this story, all of mine read slightly differently and it sometimes takes a chapter or to for things to even out I don't think I've hit my stride with this one yet.

**TheDragonclawMistress** you'll be pleased to know that this one is even longer than the last and will all of them will probably be over 10,000 words each, so w00t!

**IluvJesus123** and **CuriousDreamWeaver** thanks, I'm glad you guys like my story so far, hope you all liked this chapter.

Thanks everyone, I hope you'll review in the future!


	4. Chapter 3

No matter what they say, I don't own Naruto.

**Something in Your Eyes**

_(By LGR)_

**Chapter Three: Not so Fine**

"…_Just leave me alone…"_

_--- _

More than a little peeved, Iruka strode into the main Shinobi building and prepared himself for what would undoubtedly be a _long_ afternoon. The day hadn't been a difficult one, and for once he didn't necessarily have a lot of homework to grade (read: _lot_. There was always _something_ that needed graded, in this case, a beginning-of-the-year test so improvement could be gauged at the end of the year, and before one even asks, _yes_: the kids had been less than enthusiastic to find the had a test _the very first day._ They'd whined and groaned, but hey, such was life, even for the young academy student.)

As previously stated, the kids had had a test today, but most of it was multiple-guess and short answer (little did the children know that tomorrow they had a short essay to complete). Something that was (relatively) easy to grade and though he probably wouldn't have finished today anyways, he'd given himself the whole week to do it, so it wasn't a major concern. His class this year wasn't any more or less well-behaved than any of his others and today had been fairly painless but even so he was tired and had looked forward to going home, making tea, waiting around for Naruto to show up and then quizzing him on what had happened.

So much for that plan…

Vaguely, Iruka realized that this was the second time in two consecutive days that his day hadn't gone as he had intended it to.

The thing that bothered Iruka the most was why Raido couldn't take his shift. He would have switched with someone else if he knew he'd had a mission, which was fishy. Iruka hoped nothing was wrong…

Because if Raido _were_ on a mission, than Genma and Anko would have been with him, right?

Not necessarily, he realized, Raido was a Tokubetsu Jounin like Iruka used to be. A Specialist that was so good at his area of expertise that he was considered of Jounin status despite the fact that his other skills might not be up to par. Perhaps they had something that required Raido alone? Or at least his presence? Raido specialized as a Bodyguard and Counter-Assassination Operative. Iruka didn't remember anything like that in the mission scrolls the last time he was manning the desk, but then again that didn't mean anything.

Had Genma seemed worried, earlier? For some reason Iruka couldn't say either way. He didn't remember. Darn it.

He sighed: hopefully he was only being paranoid and Raido had just caught the flu and forgotten to call in or something to that effect. Iruka hoped it was something as innocuous as the flu; it could so easily be worse. No one ever accused shinobi of getting into the ninja business because it was safe, after all.

Iruka stopped walking.

Glancing behind him, he mentally groaned.

He'd just missed the mission room but a couple feet because he hadn't been paying attention. Hopefully no one noticed. Oh, who was he kidding? It was a room full of ninja: everyone noticed. Oh well, time to see who in the mission's room would burst out laughing first. Iruka was about to turn around and walk back down the hall, when the sound of a door opening emanated from very near him and Iruka was surprised to see a certain loud-mouthed blond and brooding brunette entering the hall from an unused side-room.

Because the boy had been an excellent Ninja from the very beginning, even during his academy days, it initially surprised Iruka that Sasuke didn't seem to register his presence. The Uchiha wore his usual expression, that could have hidden anything from happiness to anger, but years of teaching the youth and then being exposed through Naruto caused Iruka to be able to distinguish the signs.

The extra stress of the eyebrows plus the distinct hardness of Sasuke's frown, despite the strange absence of his usual trademark death-glare, led Iruka to believe that this wasn't his run of the mill poker face, but rather an indicator of the boy's emotions. What these signs were pointing to however, Iruka had yet to decipher. It was so rare for Sasuke to show his true emotions that whatever set him off must be something unusual indeed.

Following just behind his fellow shinobi, Naruto bore equal signs of having just experienced something out of the ordinary, but they happened to appear quite different; contrasting even.

Naruto looked to be a step away from leaking tears and wore a tentative smile that was the most sincere Iruka had seen in a long time from the blond. Although Naruto's smiles were rarely false, they were for the joy of others and therefore did not necessarily express his true state of mind. Iruka could see that this smile was just for Naruto. It wasn't a show put on for the benefit of others, but a true conveyance of definite feelings, and small as it was it nearly made Iruka's heart melt.

Stepping out of the room behind the ominously silent, and strangely mind-vacant Sasuke, Naruto immediately noticed his former sensei and frantically whipped around to face the wall, trying in vain to hide the fact that he had been about to cry. By the time Naruto turned back around one might not even have guessed that the young shinobi had been so close to a good sob.

"Oh hey, Iruka-sensei, what are you doing here?" Naruto asked grinning, his face even brighter than usual.

Had something good happened? Sasuke's condition had led Iruka to think otherwise, but Naruto seemed very happy about whatever had taken place. What was going on?

Iruka answered the question wearing a careful smile, he still wasn't sure what had happened, "Genma asked me to cover Raido's shift this afternoon," he said. A shift that started over a half hour ago…cra-a-a-a-p…

This _one time_, a couple minutes couldn't hurt, right? _Just this once_. Anything incredibly urgent would probably be handed out by the Hokage personally anyways, right? This was important.

Suppressing his urge to run into the office not three feet away from him in favor of investigating the strange vibes coming from his former students and practically-children, Iruka stepped closer to the pair to create a more personal environment for the two.

Naruto seemed…well, maybe a little emotionally stressed, but it seemed to be positive upon first examination. Sasuke on the other hand was more difficult to read right now, which was unusual. The two were both prone to acting on immediate emotions such as happiness and anger, but pain was something they both hid deep down inside, where no one could see; Naruto, Iruka had thought, to a greater extent than Sasuke.

But then again Naruto wasn't experiencing pain now, was he? What was wrong with Sasuke then?

"Where's Sakura?" Iruka asked carefully.

Naruto's expression shifted slightly, but for what reason Iruka couldn't tell, "Oh, she's still in the room talking to Kakashi-sensei," Naruto told him.

"Kakashi-sensei. I see," Iruka said noncommittally. So Kakashi was their teacher, after all.

Wait…Kakashi was in the room? Shit!

Before Iruka could so much as react to this information Naruto unexpectedly took him in a firm embrace, as Sasuke watched on pretending he hadn't just inadvertently been exposed to something that would ordinarily be private.

Meanwhile, Naruto was babbling, "—I'm so happy! Kakashi-sensei isn't like Mizuki-sensei was at all, he says he knows what its like, having bad stuff happen to you all time; He even knew all about Sasuke! And he said he'd never betray us, and I believe him! I know I didn't say anything before, but I was so scared he'd hate me like Mizuki, but he doesn't! I'm so relieved—!"

Knew all about Sasuke, huh? Well that explained some things. Like why the Uchiha was so sour-faced.

Iruka smiled genuinely as he hugged Naruto back, and Sasuke stood there looking uncomfortable, "That's so great, Narut—"

"_Kakashi-sensei!"_ a voice cried out from behind the side-room door immediately after the sound of something hard hitting the table and then the floor, causing them all to freeze.

"_Sakura-chan!"_ everyone in the hall exclaimed.

Being the only one in the hall not hampered by such trivialities as being in the act of demonstrating affectionate gestures, Sasuke reached the door first and threw it open, Naruto and Iruka close behind.

Sakura stood in the middle of the room, her hands over her mouth, eyes open wide looking at their new ANBU-sensei who was lying awkwardly on the floor, completely and unnaturally still as if he had passed out.

"Why isn't he moving? What the hell happened?" Naruto yelled into the room, stepping forward towards Kakashi only to be held back by Sakura, telling the blond to let the man recover on his own.

"Did he just _fall_ off the _table_…?" Sasuke droned, raising an eyebrow and providing his opinion of a shinobi who fell off of tables.

"He had a _seizure_!" Sakura shouted at her teammate as she flashed seals for a jutsu, making sure the ANBU hadn't damaged anything when his head hit the table.

"_What!"_ Iruka exclaimed. Since when did the Copy-Nin, Hatake Kakashi, have _seizures_? Epilepsy and the life of a shinobi were mutually exclusive: completely impossible!

"What's going on in here? Are you kids making-out in here again?" demanded a curious shinobi from the door, immediately placing herself into the situation as only a konoha kunoichi could.

It was Kurenai.

Which meant Asuma wasn't far behind.

"Someone screwing in the side-room again?" the goateed chain-smoker remarked from behind the red-eyed kunoichi.

The pink-haired medical-nin looked like she might explode. "No one fell off a table, no one's making out and _no one_ is having sex! He had a _seizure_!" she declared, "A _Sei-zure_! Now either be quiet or leave while I do my job!"

---

Kakashi's only thought before his head slammed on the table was _crap_, _I'm never going to hear the end of this one…_

His second thought wasn't as immediate and had had to wade through the muddle of confusion to reach his conscious brain and in point of fact could hardly be considered a proper train of thought at all for all its simplicity. His thought was _ow…fucking ow_.

It hurt, but it could have been worse. Kakashi was never so thankful for cheep, crappy, worn-out office furniture that hadn't been replaced in ten years: they were more cork and particle board covered in false hardwood venire than anything else, and even that was debatable. It was hard to imagine that any of its components had once come from something organic. Thank the shinobi gods for worn corners and edges that might as well have been round. If they had been nice and sharp he might have been hemorrhaging from his head right now. He would never complain to the Hokage that they needed new office furniture ever again…

…

Okay, fine that was a lie. And besides, the hemorrhaging was an exaggeration; it wouldn't have bled very much, if at all.

Kakashi's eyelids were drooped (even more than normal) and he could barely make-out anything through his eyelashes. He'd never realized he'd had such long eyelashes; damn it all to hell, even if he'd been at a vantage point where he'd see anything other than shoes, he couldn't distinguish a thing.

The door to the room was slid open forcefully enough for Kakashi to hear the wooden frame of the screen hit a barrier, and the faint change in air pressure as it slid into the wall.

"_Why isn't he moving? What the hell happened?"_

Kakashi only heard Naruto yell, but he was certain there were at least two others from the echoes of shoes on hardwood. One would be Sasuke undoubtedly, he could smell him, but who was the other? He thought it smelt familiar; like he'd come across the scent fairly recently, but he couldn't place it.

Someone was walking towards him and Kakashi would have readied himself for attack if his muscles would listen to him.

"Step back Naruto, you can't do anything right now, he'll recover on his own," Sakura said. Kakashi thought she had grabbed the person who had come forward, and that the person being held back was Naruto.

As anyone who's ever A) slept wrong on a body part and woken up unable to move it, B) been exposed to paralyzing toxins, or C) been inflicted with a movement-inhibiting or mind-suppressing jutsu _knows_: being fully conscious and unable to control one's body is _terrifying_. Although seizures weren't exactly _normal_ for Kakashi, over the last year or two he had experienced them more often than he'd admit and the ANBU new the drill, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

Panic immediately shot through his system, every fiber of his being willing himself to move and his body even wanted to, but his muscles wouldn't contract; they were bereft of the tension that allowed the movement of limbs. Focusing his attention on what was going on in the room was a mixed blessing because while it calmed his intense need to move his arms just to make sure he still could and wouldn't be a paraplegic for the rest of his life, it simultaneously put him in paranoia-extreme-attack-mode, which was never good.

It helped (marginally, slightly, hardly,) that they were indoors inside the main building of his home village, the most powerful shinobi village in the world, amongst if not friends exactly (Kakashi hadn't had a 'friend' in fifteen years, former and current students didn't count), than non-hostiles and in this case beloved people that (probably) wouldn't attack him (Sasuke might, he didn't seem to like Kakashi very much as of yet, but it would probably have to be provoked with a well placed insult).

Only the first day and he already (mostly) trusted them to not kill him. Not bad. However, he didn't trust them not to get killed off if by some incredible happenstance someone attacked them.

Which was decidedly _not_ helpful.

Using the most inflection Kakashi had heard from the Uchiha yet, Sasuke asked more to himself than to anyone else, "Did he just _fall_ off the _table_…?"

Asshole. That kid was so _mean_.

"He had a _seizure_!" Sakura yelled in response.

Thanks…shout it from the rooftops, will you?

"_What!"_

Shit, the other person was 'Ruka-kun. Iruka-sensei. Whatever-the-hell.

"What's going on in here? Are you kids making-out in here again?" a female voice barked.

A new scent hit Kakashi's nose, or rather two new scents actually, as well as the pungent whiff of tobacco. The female's voice was haughty, slightly angry and sounded like it was coming from the door. Even without seeing the woman, she had that air of someone who was used to dealing with misbehavior. Kakashi would have bet money she was or had been an academy teacher, Toukubtsu Jounin pre-genin trainer, or Jounin genin-sensei.

"Someone screwing in the side-room again?" queried a laid back man's voice, also from near the door. He sounded like the kind of person that couldn't be bothered to get excited about much but wasn't exactly lethargic either, just placid.

"No one fell off a table, no one's making out and _no one_ is having sex! He had a _seizure_! A _Sei-zure_! Now either be quiet or leave while I do my job!"

_Wow, Sakura, didn't know you had it in you…_ Rin had never been so outspoken. She eventually grew out of being shy all the time, but she'd usually been so quiet and even tempered. Well, when it came to anyone except him. She could be stubborn when she wanted to be and she'd wanted to be when it came to his health. Especially after Obito…

…Well, that was another thought entirely.

Kakashi remembered when he'd first met Sakura. She'd been really shy back then, just like her sister…

…

* * *

(…_"I'm _fine_," Nineteen year old Kakashi declared angrily, but his pitiful appearance and the fatigued quality to his voice left much to be desired. _

_He'd changed out of his ANBU-gear, because Rin said he had to. Wearing a clean, regular shinobi uniform didn't make him feel any different. He wasn't wearing his hitae-ate, it was in his flak-jacket pocket. He'd given up after the third stab of pain instinctively made him pull it off to flap his hand over his face._

_His eye still hurt so much…Obito must be punishing him. Punishing him for being unable to save Kaeori-san on last night's mission._

_Obito's eye throbbed. He almost staggered from the pain, his breathing shallow. Earlier it had been bleeding. Bleeding so much that Rin had been worried._

_It was devastatingly clear that he wasn't fine, thus Rin's ability to tow him by his elbow wherever she so pleased, against his will. If he'd really been fine, he wouldn't have stood for it._

_Rin allowed a rare frown to grace her face, and turned from her walking to fix him with a no-nonsense expression, that said he better listen to what she was saying, "You just told me five minutes ago that you thought about _gouging your eye out_." _

"_I wasn't—"_

"_Yes, Kashi-kun, you _were_ serious. I could _tell_," Rin countered, before he could even finish._

_Kakashi sighed sorrowfully, and just watched his feet disturb little pools of water on the road as he stepped. It had rained yesterday, and it looked like it would rain later too. He could smell water heavy in the air. _

_It soon became apparent that they were going to Rin's apartment. Rin's apartment that also housed a _four year old…

"_Rin-chan, I don't think…" Kakashi began. _

"_You're on Suicide-watch as of now, Kashi-kun," Rin informed him, "You have to be watched at all times. You can help Sakura-chan with her homework." _

_He didn't bother asking if she was kidding. He knew she wasn't._

_Kakashi would have narrowed his eyes in a glare, but he just couldn't work up the energy. A shot of aching nerves in his eye gave him another reason, as he sucked in air and stiffened. His accusatorial: "That's extortion," ended up sounding like more of a shuddering whine then anything else._

_It was dusk, the sun long over the horizon, but enough light still filtering through, and bouncing off the heavy cloud cover to make the surroundings surprisingly bright. Even so, the orange lights from various nearby windows, where blinding up close. _

_Walking up the stairs on the side of the building, stopping for a moment as Rin pulled a set of house keys from her pocket and using the light coming from her front window, inserted them into the lock. Opening the door, she yelled, "_Tadaima!_" and stepped in the house, hanging her keys on a peg board near the door, as Kakashi stepped in as well and closed the door behind him._

_"_Okaerinasai_" came a high pitched, female voice from the pink-haired child sitting at the coffee table in the house, coloring with some crayons on a piece of paper with a couple flowers laying not far off. She was so concentrated with her work, she didn't look up._

_"__Sakura-chan, come here," Rin requested kindly, and Sakura put down a yellow crayon and walked over to the two adults, tilting her head as she examined this new person before her for a moment, then caught Kakashi looking and dunked her head shyly. Kakashi suddenly felt very uncomfortable, not to mention well aware of the fact that he looked as miserable as he felt. _

_Rin smiled a little too brightly, which according to Kakashi's experience, meant she was enjoying this, and therefore must be up to something._

_"__This is my dear friend, Kakashi-kun," she said with a wink to her younger sister, "You should call him Kakashi-nii-san," (Kakashi mentally groaned,) "Now he's going to be here for dinner and stay the night, okay? He's shy, but if you ask him, I'm sure he'll help you with your homework. Kakashi-kun is in ANBU!"_

_Sakura looked up, eyes went wide despite herself. "Woooow!" she awed._

_"__I'm going to go make dinner, okay?" Rin said._

_"__Okay, Aneki," Sakura said softly, becoming reserved again as Rin walked into the kitchen, leaving Kakashi and Sakura alone._

_Sakura went back to drawing on her paper and Kakashi sat on the couch. Little by little, the pain ebbed. He took out his hitae-ate and tied it back around his head. His hair wasn't as artfully swooshed as usual, and probably stuck out in all directions, but it was the best he could do without a mirror, and he just couldn't bring himself to get up._

_Kakashi sighed and leaned his head back against the couch, slumping down and closing his eyes._

_Scribble. Scribble. Stop._

_Kakashi opened his stormy eye and Sakura stopped looking at him and immediately started doodling again. The muffled sounds and accompanying scents of cooking food reached Kakashi along with a muffled giggle. _

_That's right, Rin had camera's run all over her house. She hadn't just demanded he come over to her house specifically because they knew each other. Her apartment was wired and she could keep an eye on him from anywhere._

_Sakura eventually put down her yellow crayon and picked up a green one and started making lines._

_"__Whatcha got there?" Kakashi couldn't help but ask. He'd been trying to figure out what she was drawing for the past four minutes and couldn't for the life of him. She drew appallingly bad. He was pretty sure he drew better when he was that age, but then again maybe not. _

_"__It's a picture," she said. Kakashi wanted to say 'Noooo! Really?__' but didn't. She was only four after all._

_"__Can you tell me about it?" he asked, going the vague, but safe route. _

_"__It's part of my homework. We had to pick flowers, take them home, and draw them." She reached over to the pile of flowers on the table and picked up a yellow daffodil showing it to him, "See, it's a dabba- a Dabbada-" she stuttered over the word._

_"__Daffodil?" he supplied._

_"__Yeah, a daffododil," the girl said, continuing with her coloring. Eh, she was close enough, "Ino-chan says they symbolize affection and esteem."_

_"__Who's Ino-chan?"_

_"__My best friend at school," she explained. _

_Sakura wasn't very talkative, Kakashi observed. He didn't really mind, but it seemed unhealthy. Not that he was one to talk._

_Apparently done with her drawing, she put her crayons away neatly (Sakura was very organized), and put her pictures in the school folder laying on the table in the flap marked 'Finished Work', then pulled out a piece of paper from the other side that read 'Homework'._

_Standing up and turning to him, holding up the paper, she asked gravely, "Will you help me with my study-guide Kakashi-nii-san?" _

_Kakashi mentally twitched, but nodded, "Hop up here," he said. And she crawled onto the sofa as he read the directions…)_

* * *

**…**

**…**Obviously Sakura had changed since then. She was nowhere near as shy and she seemed to be channeling the spirit of Tsunade. Hopefully no one would piss her off again. And damn it all if Kakashi wasn't Tsunade's favorite bitching target. If only he could move...

He blinked.

Okay, so he _could_ move again. This was good.

The ANBU tensed his muscles and they complied, as he carefully levered himself off the ground. The bump on his head would probably have shown a bruise tomorrow if his thick hair didn't cover it, and it definitely throbbed a little, not so much as before but noticeably, although Kakashi had so often had worse hurts, that this was negligible by comparison.

The ANBU could feel everyone's eyes on him, as he picked himself off the ground a little slowly, but still with that superhuman fluidity, for all appearances sake as if he _hadn't_ just had a seizure in the shinobi main building in front of six people.

"…Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked timidly.

"What? _Kakashi_?" the unknown kunoichi from before exclaimed, rotating her gaze to look at him. Luckily there didn't seem to be any recognition or connections going on in her head, but then again she _was_ a ninja. She might be keeping it from showing on her face.

Kakashi could now see that Sakura had indeed been holding back Naruto, who was looking on the ANBU with worry. Behind the blond, Sasuke was leaning against the wall, arms crossed wearing an _I-don't know-what the-hell-to-think-right-now-and-that-pisses-me-off Glare_.

And behind Sasuke was that person who he wanted to pretend wasn't there: Iruka. It was still so bizarre seeing the present equivalent of that scar-nosed, pony-tail wearing boy from back in the days when things were, if not happy, at least a little brighter and slightly less scary because Yondaime was there. Yondaime who loved the village and would protect him and everyone else. Nothing ever seemed impossible when Yondaime had still been alive…

…he shuddered, and began shaking again.

Kakashi paid the man only enough attention to identify him and almost desperately moved on with his scan of the room.

The as yet unknown kunoichi, as well as the other man, were both Jounin that Kakashi remembered from an A-rank mission he'd had last month. Kakashi had worn ANBU-gear on the occasion, of course, (ANBU-gear was just _better_) and they hadn't interacted outside of that mission since. The two had not left much of an impression on him at the time; they'd hardly even spoken with each other.

Kurenai, he remembered the woman being called, had wavy black hair, full lips and figure and startling red eyes that were a clan trait akin to kekkai genkai, although it didn't seem to have any bloodline benefits other than an increased aptitude with genjutsu, that he'd noticed. She had seemed rather cold before, but that wasn't the feeling he was getting from her now.

Asuma was the male shinobi. He was a very stable person that always seemed to have things together, didn't really take life seriously but wasn't willing to throw it away either and somehow managed to balance out. Kakashi had secretly admired and envied the man's condition. It had seemed such a relaxing mental state to be in.

They might have been friends.

That is if Kakashi had had friends.

Which he didn't.

Sakura had already given Kakashi's identity away. Everyone in the room had heard his name, and he wasn't exactly in a position to make up a believable lie. He probably could have at least made up an irritatingly stupid one for them all, but he was suddenly so_ tired_…

Everyone was staring at him. Didn't they know how uncomfortable that was? If it had been only one person, he might have stared back. Unfortunately it was mildly impossible to stare at six people at once. That is, unless they were very far away, or one had six eyes that moved independently.

Like a chameleon. Or a snail/slug…

…

…Needless to say, Kakashi had none of these things going for him right now.

He fought not to shrink away, but to appear like everything was normal. Either that or melt into the wall through sheer force of will. He wasn't sure how well he was doing at it, this sort of thing was a lot easier to accomplish while wearing ANBU-gear. That's how he usually managed to put up with it.

He really…didn't like being stared at…

…

* * *

_(…The area outside of the Academy was usually loud with the sounds of students playing and training, but it had suddenly become deathly silent._

_Kakashi noticed. He always noticed. They thought he didn't, so easily he continued with his previous task as if nothing strange had occurred, but they were wrong. Oh so wrong._

_A shadow fell on the shinobi Tactics book he had been reading, but Kakashi didn't look up. He just kept on reading; doubtless the person would realize his mistake and walk away in a moment, to find the person he had really meant to bother. _

"_Hey," the owner of the shadow said to him._

_Kakashi ignored it: It was obviously a mistake. He turned a page in his book._

"_Hey," the person continued, "Your name is Kakashi-kun, right? Is that a good book?" he asked friendlily._

_Kakashi looked up, to see a smiling boy about three or four years older than himself, looking down at him. His expression didn't change, he wouldn't give them, the onlookers, the satisfaction, but he was secretly irritated at his and this boy's difference in height, never mind the fact that Kakashi was only five while this kid was eight or nine. _

_No one ever took him seriously because he was so young. Because he was so small._

_When it was clear that Kakashi had no intention of answering the question, the boy just shrugged at his younger counterpart, and then turned to look nervously at everyone else on the play-ground._

_Everyone was staring at them. The other boy realized this too, and paled._

_Kakashi hurriedly looked back down at his page._

_He hated it. How if everyone wasn't pretending he didn't exist, they were staring at him. Everyone hated him, because he was the son of a traitor, the son of a once proud Konoha shinobi who had shamed his village. An S-class ninja: the very best, who had thrown away his responsibilities, and gone against orders._

_And Kakashi was their constant reminder. Why did he have to resemble his father so much? The man who's name had been held even higher than that of the Sannin._

_Everyone hated him, because of his father._

Stop staring at me…Stop looking at me…Just leave me alone…

_The boy turned back, trying to ignore the masses of glaring eyes, and failing miserably. He was trying so hard, however, that he hadn't even noticed that Kakashi's now shaking grip on his book had whitened his knuckles, even as the younger boy fought to keep the effects of his fellow student's stares from affecting him._

"_Well, ah…what I wanted to ask was…um. Well, you're like the best kunai thrower in the whole school, you know, and we need another person on our team for Kunai tag—we're just using the rubber covered ones, you know—and I wanted to know if you'd—hey, where are you going!"_

_Kakashi took his book and ran away. He couldn't stand it. Their staring. They hated him. They all hated him. He hated it. He hated himself. Why did he have to be that man's son? Why did he have to look like him?_

"_What did I do?" Kakashi heard the boy ask his friends, before he got out of hearing distance._

"_Leave him alone Genma-kun," one of the boys companions said, "Kakashi just thinks he's too good for everyone else. Besides, didn't you know? He's a Hatake, from _that_ clan. He looks so much like _that_ man; it's so obvious. Just forget about him…")_

* * *

…

…I'm a shinobi. Don't just look at me. Acknowledge me properly.

Gathering himself, he said, "Saa…see, I told you I was fine," in what he hoped was a semi-normal voice, addressing Sakura.

…

* * *

(…_"I'm _fine_," Nineteen year old Kakashi declared angrily…)_

* * *

…

* * *

_(…"Try not to worry about me…I'll be fine."…)_

* * *

…

* * *

_(…"I'm fine." Kakashi answered, but it tasted a lie even on his own tongue….)_

* * *

…

…'_I'm fine_' seemed to be the story of his life. The fact that every single time he said it, the words had been false probably meant something, too.

"_Fine?_" Sakura snapped at him in astonishment, hands on hips, green eyes flashing, "You've got to be kidding me! You were down longer than fifteen seconds, I was getting worried!"

…

* * *

_(…"Stupid brat!" the legendary medic nin screeched down at him, as he lay groggy and barely conscious in a hospital bed. As soon as he recovered enough to look around, they'd have to move him: he'd freak out. "What the hell did you think you were doing, pulling a stunt like that? Rin-chan's been up all a night crying, you dumbass! You would have died if she hadn't found you there, we were all worried!"…)_

* * *

…

…Kakashi shuddered as the phantom voice drifted away. Sakura-chan really sounded _exactly_ like Tsunade-hime right now.

Everyone in the room had shifted their gaze to Sakura for a moment to listen to her reaction giving him a moment of relief, but all too quickly they looked back at Kakashi, supposedly to see what he would do in return.

He really did _not_ like this game. Not at _all_.

For Sakura's part, now that her would-be patient was back in control of his body, she could allow everyone else in the room some lee-way in moving around.

She'd had enough ANBU patients to know that being near them when they were vulnerable or coming out of an exposed state was dangerous; their training caused them to lash out without thinking: something that was necessary for their survival on a mission, but extremely dangerous in a normal setting.

One never realized the truth about the shinobi being a living weapon until they saw an unconscious ANBU try to knife a medic checking their bandages. Sakura had been attacked in a lapse of judgment that could have cost her life if the hand of the Shinobi that had held the senbon hadn't been the part of the body wounded, allowing Sakura to dodge.

"If you'd hand me those papers, I'll just be leaving now Sakura-chan," Kakashi said deceptively casual, his hand out ready to accept the packets of paperwork, ignoring the tremors rocking his fingers.

"This _guy_…" Sasuke muttered, in a tone that resembled confusion, irritation and disbelief.

"Are you _sure_ there wasn't any sex going on?" Asuma mumbled around a cigarette in his usual tone, no one quite certain if he were joking or being serious, "A person on the floor…looks pretty _fishy _if you ask me..."

"No one did ask you…" Sasuke snarled from his place at the wall.

Despite her many years of Medical and Ninja training which was supposed to allow her to remain calm during situations such as this, Sakura had definitely had it.

"That's _it_!" she declared, turning her rage on the two unwanted spectators at the door, "You two: out of the room!" Sakura rushed towards the two Jounin practically throwing them out the door. Before slamming the screen shut, she yelled "And I already told you! He had a seizure!"

The two Jounin could only stare at the closed screen, wondering what, exactly, had just transpired. Soon, conversation began again, but the nature of the walls and doors of the building made it so even their trained ears could not pick a word out among the muffled sounds.

"Did we just let a _chunin_ throw us out of a room?" Asuma wondered to the almost silent hall.

Kurenai, equally stunned, didn't answer the question, but posed one of her own: "I didn't even do anything, why was _I_ thrown out?"

Silence.

"He has white hair…" Kurenai remarked absently.

Asuma took a long drag on his cigarette, exhaling the smoke before answering: "Yeah…"

More silence.

"So…that was Kakashi, huh…" Asuma droned around his lit cigarette.

He'd seen the legendary yet mysterious Hatake Kakashi on no less than two occasions. One very briefly and quite some time ago, five or six years before, during Asuma's time of membership in the twelve guard-Ninjas of Fire, in which an ANBU known as Copy Kakashi had tracked a missing-nin who'd made an attempt at the life of the Lord of the Land of Fire.

The assassin had been caught and executed. No further details had been released to him.

The other time had occurred just last month. Kurenai, Shikamaru and himself had been assigned on a mission with the man to investigate rumors of an Akatsuki member trolling around an area near the border between Sand and Fire country. The rumors had amounted to nothing in the end, and Asuma had seen nothing of the man's skills beyond the most basic, and heard little of his voice. Kakashi had also worn full ANBU gear; his only distinguishing feature had been his silvery-white hair and perhaps his extraordinary liquid-movement and ability to disappear in broad daylight.

"It certainly seems that way…" Kurenai agreed.

"He seems like a pain in the ass…" Asuma observed with a wry frown.

Footsteps echoed from their right, and the two glanced down the hall to see Tsunade's attendant Shizune approaching them at a brisk walk.

Not quite shoulder-length, short dark hair bouncing at every step, the Kunoichi stopped in front of them, glancing about, as if looking for someone.

And indeed she was, for Tsunade had sent her out to find Kakashi an hour ago, and she'd been looking ever since. He was _supposed_ to have met with Tsunade at two, after handing in his paperwork at the ANBU office, but he hadn't shown up. Shizune had run to the ANBU head quarters and found out that Kakashi hadn't been there at all. Checking his apartment, she found no signs of life, and so she had been looking ever since.

For whatever reason, it hadn't occurred to her until now to check the very room he had reserved for his team's use today in completing their paperwork.

"_Sumimasen_. I'm looking for Kakashi," she asked of Asuma and Kurenai, than visibly winced at her stupidity. She'd said the name and not the physical description; now she would have to give both. If his identity got out, Kakashi would be pissed at her.

At least she thought he would be: she still didn't know him that well after three years of being back in Konoha at Tsunade's side; all she really knew was that he was stubborn as hell, knew over a thousand different jutsu and was mighty handy with a kunai.

Shizune was mentally hitting herself, but stopped in surprise as Asuma and Kurenai silently and simultaneous raised their fingers to point at the door.

"He's in there?" she asked, eyebrows knit together in confusion and surprise. The two Jounin nodded wordlessly.

"Oh…" Shizune blinked, "_Arigato._" She slid open the door and closed it behind her, before opening it back up to say, "And no smoking inside the building."

She shut the door, this time for good.

Yet more relative silence, (and no movement whatsoever to comply with Shizune's command)…

Asuma turned to Kurenai. "Want to get some sake?" he asked casually.

Being the Jounin that they were, both shinobi were well versed in codes. This statement happened to translate into: _Want to go to the most infamous shinobi hangout in the village, get rip-roaring drunk and spread incomplete information along with a few fabrications and untruths to the population at large?_

Kurenai answered equally as offhandedly, "Alright," she shrugged.

Of course, in actuality she was answering: _hell, yeah!_

---

Iruka, through this entire saga, had had the presence of mind to _not_ _say__anything_ _stupid_.

This probably saved him (and Sasuke and Naruto, who had seemed to follow his example for the most part) from being thrown out along with Kurenai and Asuma.

Sakura sighed exasperatedly, expression still dangerous, "Now that the peanut gallery has dispersed…" she growled. Sakura had thought Asuma and Kurenai were decent people! What the hell was with all the perverted assumptions! So much for _that_!

"Are you okay Kakashi-sensei? What happened? Why did you have a seizure?" Naruto asked of the silently standing shinobi, motionless except for his shaking hands, giving no indication he had seen what had just transpired between his new student and the two adult Jounin.

"I'm fine." Kakashi repeated. He secretly realized this was the fourth time he'd said this today, and it wasn't getting any truer.

"_No. You're. Not._" Sakura enunciated. When Kakashi only ignored her, she growled in disgust: "You're more stubborn than Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun!"

Naruto and Sasuke seemed vaguely insulted.

"I try," Kakashi answered absently with a fluid shrug that made no noise. For a moment he closed his stormy grey eye, the movement of his facial features beneath his mask indicating that the man was slightly smiling.

Either that or smirking.

Yeah, probably smirking.

Sasuke scoffed. He did _not_ like being smirked at, and he especially didn't appreciate _Kakashi_ smirking at his expense.

"You're such an ass…" he accused the shinobi, glowering from his post at the wall. He resembled a particularly ill-tempered gargoyle.

The ANBU merely raised his lone visible brow, amusedly, saying nothing.

To the average observer, (and perhaps even most of the _more-observant-than-average_ observers), Kakashi must seem to be a rather stubborn, irritating, sarcastic and apathetic individual. But what Iruka, a shinobi well versed in the practically taboo matter of shinobi emotions (should they exist, which as far as ninja as a whole were concerned, they weren't supposed to), was seeing, painted a very different picture.

Iruka was painfully familiar with this sort of façade: cold, distant and sarcastic was in fact a rather common means for a shinobi to hide their pain. Although, Iruka couldn't honestly say he had seen anyone play the part so very well as Kakashi did: It seemed so natural for him. In a way this was an extremely sorrowful realization for Iruka. Often the long term utilization of such a mask transcended its usage as a mere social shield and became integrated into the individual's personality.

Perhaps it had already managed to do so.

Arguably, the only way that Iruka himself had managed to see through the guise, was because he had been witness to something he wasn't suppose to see that day: sadness and loneliness. This shinobi and the one from all that time ago seemed to be two completely different people, but Iruka new better.

Kakashi was pointedly avoiding looking at Iruka, even though the chunin was very much aware of the fact that he was now staring at the ANBU. Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto realized this as well.

Iruka knew it was rude to stare. He also knew how uncomfortable it was. He was going to be embarrassed about this later, he could already tell, but Iruka needed to know something. He needed to find out how bad Kakashi's condition really was.

Naruto was usually a good judge of character, and Iruka trusted what he had gathered from the teen earlier. Kakashi had shown them, or at least Naruto, a face that wasn't his mask…

…

* * *

_(… "—I'm so happy! Kakashi-sensei isn't like Mizuki-sensei was at all, he says he knows what its like, having bad stuff happen to you all time; He even knew all about Sasuke! And he said he'd never betray us, and I believe him! I know I didn't say anything before, but I was so scared he'd hate me like Mizuki, but he doesn't! I'm so relieved—!...)_

* * *

…

…Iruka trusted Naruto's instincts, and he had a guess that this person before him wasn't Kakashi's true face. This strange persona somehow, irked Iruka. He felt like this couldn't possibly be the Kakashi he knew.

Or didn't know…

Ugh! How can you feel so deeply like you know someone, and _not_? It was so confusing!

Putting aside his confusion, he continued to pin Kakashi with his gaze.

A person who's personality was naturally sarcastic and self-assured, that is to say the sort of personality that Kakashi was imitating, would very likely get annoyed and say a snippy comment to Iruka; they certainly wouldn't sit and take it without making their irritation known. Most other personality types would eventually try to do something as well, although they would probably be more polite about it. Anger, confusion and mild discomfort would be normal reactions.

What would Kakashi's reaction be? Or would he just ignore Iruka, continuing to hound Sakura for that paperwork that he wanted from her? Would whatever action he performed be his own, or some aspect of his shinobi-lifestyle? Some fabrication?

Only one way to find out.

"Iruka-sensei…" Naruto began confusedly, but Sakura shushed him, also wondering what was going on, but realizing that Iruka was behaving this way for a reason. Sasuke just enjoyed the show.

A few seconds of staring, and Kakashi had almost visibly shrunk. His hair was messy to begin with and the gradual inclination of his head had allowed his bangs to flop over his unhidden eye, hiding what could be seen of his face completely in shadow.

Iruka fought to keep the man in his vision; he seemed to fade into the wall like a chameleon into foliage. It helped that he was an entirely different color than the wall behind him, but not as much as one would think it should. Kakashi was very good at hiding. The best Iruka had ever seen: no wonder he was so highly regarded, not that Iruka had ever doubted Kakashi's abilities. He'd witnessed them first hand…

…

* * *

…_The boy known as Kakashi made a signal up ahead, blending into the dappled foliage so well, despite his apparel, that Iruka almost missed it. It was so dark from all the smoke; visibility was so low, you could scarcely make out anything after ten meters and what light there was, glowed an angry orange, stabbing from holes in the canopy._

_It looked like hell._

_The Shadow up ahead, that was Kakashi, jumped down from a limb to wait in the underbrush. Iruka followed and landed in a small circle void of bushes and other shrubbery. But it was still do dark, he could hardly see a thing, and his eyes burned from the smoke…_

_Iruka realized he didn't see Kakashi._

"_Kashi-ku—!" A hand covered his mouth and Kakashi suddenly materialized next to him.Removing his hand, Iruka took a deep breath and chocked on the smoke. He coughed for a few seconds helplessly and uncontrollably. Iruka felt he might asphyxiate. He fell to the ground, not really bothering to notice the fact someone had removed his hitae-ate, before a hand covered his mouth and nose with that fabric._

"_Don't breathe in the smoke. Cover your face."_

_Iruka nodded, his cough dying down a little, before he took over holding the hitae-ate fabric over his mouth from Kakashi. Iruka breathed in a few times, restoring oxygen to his lungs, keeping a steady on Kakashi, feeling like he'd loose sight of the other boy again if he didn't._

_It was surprisingly difficult. Kakashi seemed to melt into the background, becoming a part of the alien, orange, black and smoky-filled landscape._

_From what Iruka could distinguish, the other boy looked anxious, constantly, shifting his eyes, and searching._

_Suddenly, Kakashi stood stock still._

"_What—" Iruka began, but Kakashi held up a hand, and cocked his head in that eerie ANBU manner, as if listening. Iruka mimicked him._

_Iruka couldn't hear a damn thing._

_Kakashi narrowed his eyes, "They are on the hunt," he said, just barely loud enough for Iruka to hear._

"_They wouldn't…_attack_ us would they?" Iruka asked. _

"_Probably." Kakashi answered._

_Iruka could scarcely believe it. Konoha ninja fighting each other…He'd never thought he'd have anything to fear from his own village: his neighbors and friends. It was…frightening._

"_But _why_?" Iruka wondered._

_Kakashi ignored his question, and instead pulled out a scroll and a kunai, cutting his finger so it dripped with blood. Iruka instinctively stepped back. It was obviously a summoning jutsu._

_Flicking the scroll open, then running the bleeding finger along it's length, he then re-rolled it shut in a single movement, slamming both hands over it on to the ground. Symbols bled into the earth and pressure filled the air from the burst of chakra as Kakashi called, "_Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Summoning Technique_."_

_Smoke burst from the summoning circle then quickly dispersed leaving a small sour-looking pug, wearing a tunic bearing a henohenmoheji face drawn on the back._

A ninken?_ Iruka thought confusedly. _And a small one at that. What's it supposed to do?

"_Hey kid, what do you want?" the dog asked gruffly, then cocked his head at Iruka "Whose this runt?" he said._

_Iruka was mildly insulted._

_Kakashi ignored them both, "Pakkun, quickly, if ROOT division comes across this place, they'll trace the blood I used in the jutsu: they'll know I was here. Can you smell any of Yondaime's Nin-Frogs?"_

_The pug sniffed the air, "Yeah, that Gamabunta's scent is everywhere," the pug said._

"_No others?" _

"_Nope."_

_Kakashi was silent for a moment, thinking quickly, "It'll be dangerous," he said suddenly, "But we have to go to the battlefield. Pakkun first, then you, last me." _

_Without warning he leapt into the trees, Pakkun right next to him and Iruka soon after that. Kakashi stopped, waiting for them to follow his order, then headed after them. Iruka couldn't help but notice he was placed in the center: he was the one that needed to be protected._

"_Kid, watch out!" Pakkun suddenly yelled. And Iruka stopped on a tree branch in a defensive position, thinking Pakkun's call had been for him, but the sound of bodies crashing against the trees from behind made him think again._

_Jumping back, to face the danger, a kunai held in his right hand, Iruka was in time to see Kakashi kick an ANBU off of him, rolling over the shinobi so fast he was able to plant a kunai three inches deep into the ninja's hand, effectively pinning him to the tree._

_The ANBU didn't scream from the pain; she didn't make a sound, just struggled as Kakashi planted a foot on the shinobi's other arm to keep him from removing the kunai, before flashing symbols faster than the eye could see and sending a great charge of Electric Chakra into the ANBU, silencing her. Forever._

"_You…you killed her!" Iruka said, shocked. Killing was a part of a ninja's job but…so swiftly. And a shinobi from their own village! How could this be, that they were forced to fight their own?_

_How could he do it so emotionlessly?_

"_Yes," Kakashi said, coldly "And she perished pointlessly. Danto's an idiot if he thinks sending new ANBU fresh off the training ground's going to stop me. He's sending them out here to die," he looked at the ANBU and for a moment, a sudden pain filled his voice as he brought up a hand to cover his right eye. _

_The Sharingan eye._

"_She should have called out," the boy whispered to himself, and Iruka barely heard it, "Someone might have heard and come to help her."_

_And Iruka realized: Kakashi was blaming himself. Blaming himself for her death. Even after she had tried to kill him…_

"_But then we would be in even more trouble…" Iruka tried to reason to Kakashi, still shocked despite himself at the sudden death that had transpired right in front of him, and Kakashi's display of regret. "_

"_That's right," Kakashi admitted angrily. Iruka's eyes widened as arcs of electric current flickered across his companion's form, leaving afterimages in Iruka's sight._

_Kakashi had removed his hand from his face. Iruka was shocked to see blood ran like tears from his right eye._

"_So it's a good thing she didn't cry out," Pakkun said quickly, almost scaring Iruka, he'd forgotten the pug was even there. Pakkun turned to Kakashi, "Hurry, I've caught the sent of a different nin-frog. That's what you're looking for, right?"_

_Kakashi's eyes narrowed in determination, "Yes, that nin-frog…is undoubtedly guarding Naruto. We have to move quickly. Come on.")_

* * *

…

…It had taken him less than a second to kill that person.

He suddenly felt somber. Iruka had forgotten how angry Kakashi had been because of the wasted death. How he had blamed himself.

The ANBU's hands shook. His coloring, which hadn't even had a chance to recover from the seizure (which _still_ needed explaining, Iruka realized), grew even lighter, if that were possible. Iruka could pick out every one of the veins on the small bits of exposed flesh.

But perhaps the most frightening and most telling aspect of his behavior was in the smaller details of his body-language.

Iruka understood. This seizure, however it had occurred, had done what even an S-rank enemy ninja probably couldn't: It had allowed Iruka to see. Just like the shadowed window had allowed him to see on that day so long ago. How that woman's death had shown Iruka that emotion.

Low self-worth. Defining themselves by their ability to complete missions—or rather, their inability to be perfect in what they saw as their only means of being useful to the world.

Cases like this saddened Iruka the most.

It always disturbed Iruka when people so obviously strong and competent in their work, suddenly turned into helpless victim in social situations. Seeing Kakashi display this behavior was somehow heart rending. No one should have to feel like they aren't accepted; like they aren't loved. It was even worse when they blamed themselves, somehow seeing their treatment as their just desserts. Believing that all the pain in the world are their fault, because they couldn't stop it.

Was Kakashi still blaming himself? How many missions had he underwent where a teammate died or came away gravely injured? How many times had he berated himself for not being good enough to stop it?

This was completely unacceptable.

Iruka stepped around his former students, up to Kakashi. Seeing him this way, suddenly Kakashi didn't seem so intimidating any more.

Smiling, Iruka bowed saying "Kashi-kun, or rather Kakashi-san. I know you've given me your first name before, but it wasn't really a proper introduction. My name is Umino Iruka, I used to teach Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura back when they attended the academy."

Kakashi looked up, giving Iruka a gaze so blank, that the sensei assumed it was Kakashi's low-key version of 'deer-caught-in-the-headlights'.

…

…it seemed Kakashi wasn't used to being introduced to people. Either that or Iruka had provoked him into a panic response. Iruka would have to help him along.

Iruka cocked his head slightly, still smiling, saying: "And your name?"

Kakashi was so confused. First the man stared at him for nearly an entire minute, and then tried to 'introduce' himself? They both knew perfectly well what each other's name was. What was the chunin playing at?

He _really_ wanted to leave the room. He wanted to leave _right now_.

Unfortunately, Sakura still held control over the paperwork. He needed it, or he couldn't make his escape, and he didn't think Tsunade would forgive him if he roughed up Sakura for the sake of a few sheets of paper. This was of course, provided he _wanted_ to do something like that, which he very much didn't. That little girl that couldn't pronounce daffodil and or draw worth crap…

…he hated this.

He wanted to go to his house. Or, rather, he wanted to go on a mission, to be useful. To be occupied with something. Where he could do something for the village instead of moping around town wondering what was going on out there that he couldn't do anything about; who they had to endanger by his inability to perform his duties.

The one thing he was good at and he couldn't even use it to anyone's benefit.

"_Kakashi-san_," Iruka repeated, waiting patiently.

He snapped out of his reverie. Maybe it was the stress or the weak, achy feeling he had in his joints, but he was acting very unlike himself today.

"I…" the ANBU managed to begin, but was still extremely confused as to what was being asked of him.

Iruka was trying to act like there was nothing strange about this. Abnormal situations made Kakashi nervous.

Kakashi had grown up with so little interaction with other children. The communal knowledge that most people took for granted, was lost on Kakashi. He'd had to learn later, and though he understood how he was required to act in most common situations, his social-handbook was by no means complete.

He should take the hint and go along with the younger man. He knew how this was supposed to go after all, even if he wasn't required to perform the motions very often.

In missions, if you met someone new, you didn't introduce yourselves: You were simply told their names by whoever had issued the mission. Or sometimes in classified missions, no one had names, or all had fake names. He'd never really…had someone to introduce him to people before…

Except for maybe Yondaime…

…

* * *

_(…Yondaime smiled, putting his tea cup down on the table, watching Kakashi, who ignored his own cup, just like he always did. Kakashi hated tea. What did his sensei always make it for him anyways?_

"_Hey, Kashi-kun," Yondaime began, right on queue. It was the same phrase he always used when he brought up this arguement, "You know you can come out with Ruka-kun and I whenever you want."_

_Kakashi didn't say anything. Like always._

"_I think you'd get along greee-aaat…" Yondaime taunted with a smirk._

_Kakashi responded the way he always did._

"_No."…)_

* * *

…

…and he'd never really took him up on the offer.

Kakashi tried not to give his name out if he could help it. Strange as it sounded he…didn't like to hear it said aloud. Especially his family name. Everyone already knew who he was upon meeting him, so what was the point of saying it? They might give him their name, but he would simply nod to show he'd heard, if that. And if he came upon someone who didn't know what his name was, well he certainly wasn't going to give it away. He wanted his anonymity. It was very important to him. It protected him from situations like _this_.

He just wanted to leave…

Hopefully, Ruka-kun—Iruka-san, rather; or should he say Iruka-sensei?—would leave him alone after this.

"Hatake Kakashi," he complied.

…

* * *

(…_"Kakashi just thinks he's too good for everyone else. Besides, didn't you know? He's a _Hatake_, he's from _that_ clan. He looks so much like _that_ man; it's so obvious. Just forget about him…"…)_

* * *

…

…Iruka smiled bigger and Kakashi wanted to shrink away, like a nocturnal animal from a bright light. It was a pretty apt metaphor, if he did say so himself.

So many people seemed to have forgotten about his father, but his legacy still lived on. His shame.

Kakashi found he daren't look this man in the eyes. He had the same eyes as Yondaime. As Naruto. Like he saw into Kakashi's soul…

He had dealt with Iruka rather well, yesterday hadn't he? What was the difference today?

Well for one, he hadn't had a _seizure_ yesterday… (Why the hell was he blaming everything on the seizure? He'd had one before now; it was sort of frightening, inconvenient and had the possibility of being painful if it occurred at the wrong time, but you got used to it…he supposed it _was_ a convenient scapegoat, though...)

For another, Kakashi had been so preoccupied with his plans for today, that he had hardly paid attention to Iruka at all. Treating him like he would any other person and ignoring their link that made this so awkward right now.

Kakashi had wanted to make it up to those three; to compensate for not being there when he should have been. Not being able to protect them from all those hurts: big and small alike. He'd at least wanted to try. It hadn't allowed him to be nervous: it had been a mission. Kakashi had just done what he had wanted to do, what he'd needed to do, for the goal. He hadn't really considered protocol.

"You're Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura's new instructor, ne?" Iruka asked.

Kakashi blinked up at him, his grey eyes looking at the man's face, but not making eye contact. He finally answered "…Yes…" in a slightly guarded tone.

"I'm very glad that Godaime-sama was able to get someone so skilled and understanding of their situation," Iruka continued.

And he meant it.

Iruka hoped Kakashi realized that, but the way the man wouldn't meet his eyes wasn't very encouraging.

Naruto had made it very clear to Iruka that he felt that Kakashi held no ill will towards them; completely the opposite actually. But then again, Iruka had already known that. The ANBU had probably done more for Naruto than anyone, besides maybe Iruka himself.

And Naruto still deserved more.

Hatake Kakashi: someone who genuinely wanted them to succeed. It would be a wonderful change…for all of them.

"I'm assuming you are aware of their previous experience with a sensei?" Iruka inquired. Naruto's short soliloquy had hinted as much, and Iruka couldn't imagine an ANBU not having done their research, even if it was classified information. Being an ANBU and as close as the man was to Naruto's past, he would definitely have been informed.

Cold overtook the ANBU's lone visible eye as he said, "…Yes, I am…It should _never_ have happened…"

And as before, Iruka saw the ice melt away for a brief moment: Mizuki's betrayal angered him; just one more piece of evidence in the ongoing investigation into Kakashi's nature.

Not that Iruka was really investigating or anything…

…

…okay, fine, so maybe he was.

So, Iruka finally arranged the official introduction. If this were an actual session, Iruka would have a nice long, non-objective talk with the person to just observe their behavior and to get a feeling of what types of problems the person was experiencing and identify what the underlying cause for those problems was…

Iruka mentally scolded himself: Kakashi wasn't his patient.

The chunin had given up his medical ninjutsu status seven years ago to teach at the academy…well, partly to teach at the academy. Mostly it was because he couldn't take the strain of being around depression and PTSD patients. Their pain…hit him so hard…

He'd cry every night for them. He couldn't bear to see them hurting so, and especially when all his efforts bore no fruit and gained them no relief, he'd become like them. Become one of them.

Iruka hadn't been strong enough to help them. He couldn't even protect his own mind and emotions. Their pain became his and still it didn't help.

He had had to stop for his own good.

_What do I think I'm doing?_ Iruka suddenly asked himself, _these countless issues that are afflicting even Hatake Kakashi, what makes me think I can take them as my own and survive? When even he could not? Me who breaks so easily, who had to give up after only six years of second-hand heart-breaks? _

It was a very serious question. He'd seen shinobi who could kill without a thought and feel no remorse, who could take on any pain, and stand up from any wound, bust into the head medical-nin's office and outright quit, or be forced to resign by their superior and upon request of their friends, after being summoned into their superior's office, eyes tear-filled from crying after a patient recounted, in that hollow but gravely serious tone that was utterly frightening, the many reasons why they deserved to die, logical reasons that made sense, that invaded your mind and had you doubting your _own_ innocence.

Iruka had been the latter. It seemed to him, that it wasn't one's own pain that did one in, but the pain of others.

He knew the dangers. But he couldn't help himself from wanting to try, despite it all. He wanted a second try in the game—

The door slide open.

Iruka's head snapped to the entrance, and saw that Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke, who had been silent until now, had also turned to identify the entrant.

It was Shizune.

No one spoke as the medical-nin walked into the room. The open screen revealed that Asuma and Kurenai were still outside before Shizune turned to shut it. She stopped short of actually doing so, however, instead reopening it, pokeing her head out the door to address the two jounin saying "And no smoking inside building," before promptly closing it for real.

"They're _still_ out there? What are they _doing_?" Sasuke wondered aloud to the room.

"Shizune-san, what are you doing here?" Sakura asked her fellow medic-nin, confusedly.

"I'm here for Kakashi-san, actually," she informed the junior medic, before turning to the ninja previously mentioned, saying "I've been looking for you over an hour! You hav—_had_—a meeting with the hokage at two! It's three-fifteen!"

"_Oh my God!_" Iruka suddenly exclaimed and ran out the door, everyone staring at it in surprise and alarm, exempting Kakashi, who didn't really count as 'everyone' anyways. He hadn't given any indication he'd even noticed the change, but secretely, he felt as if an entire weight had been pulled off his shoulders.

"What…?" Sakura began concernedly; eyes centered on the door Iruka had so abruptly exited.

"He was supposed to be taking-over afternoon shift at the mission's desk," Sasuke clarified. He'd remembered Iruka telling them (Naruto) that in the hall, before Sakura's scream had prompted them to re-enter the room.

"Oh," she relaxed. That explained everything. Iruka hated to be late; he was extremely punctual, unlike a certain ANBU in the room…

Somehow Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke simultaneously had the same thought and side-glared at Kakashi as if they were a single entity with three bodies (and six eyes).

Despite his lack of information regarding Iruka, Kakashi still had a pretty good idea what the glares were for. He wasn't so certain he deserved to be resented for being tardy, but he was fairly sure that they had a right, even if they weren't aware of it, so he didn't say anything, he ust listlessly, watching a single spot on the ground.

The glares died down fairly quickly once it became evident that Kakashi wasn't paying attention.

"Well, anyways," Shizune restarted, speaking to Kakashi, he didn't bother to lift his head, but his heavy-lidded grey eye moved to fix her in his vision, "You've got to hurry up to the Hokage's office. She's probably quite angry at you right about now."

Kakashi couldn't help but frown, "Saa…I don't remember a meeting with Tsunade-baba this afternoon…" he mumbled but Shizune ignored him, turning instead to Sakura.

He noticed not for the first time that people tended to ignore him when he didn't want them to and stare at him when wanted to be ignored.

And or the life of him, he still couldn't remember any meeting with the Hokage!

"Sakura-chan are those the paperwork packets? Hand those to me," Shizune beckoned to the pink kunoichi, who blinked, but complied, "I'll take these up to ANBU headquarters," the medical nin informed them.

"You'll give them to _her_, but not to _me_?" Kakashi complained, genuinely irritated. Sasuke and Naruto had startle reactions, and Kakashi assumed it was from the sudden change in demeanor.

"You had a _seizure_!" Sakura defended herself angrily, next to her, Naruto said "_Yeah! Dattebayo!_" and crossed his arms nodding sagely.

_Oh my GOD, stop SAYING that_…(the_ 'you had a seizure!'_, not the_ 'Dattebayo!_' although Kakashi thought that he could come to hate that phrase as well, given enough time.)

"_What_!" Shizune exclaimed suddenly glaring accusatorily at Kakashi, "I'm moving your medical appointment to the day after tomorrow, same time," Shizune stated, as she pulled out a date book from somewhere on her person and scribbled it down, "Sakura, is that okay for you?"

"Yeah," the kunoichi said.

"It's not okay for me," Kakashi argued, anger infiltrating his tone. He couldn't think of anything he had to do, but he was sure something would come to him eventually.

"Tough," Shizune snuffed.

"I see who's really in charge here," Sasuke said sardonically.

"Your brother wasn't nearly so sarcastic…" Kakashi divulged. He couldn't help it coming out slightly waspishly. In retaliation, Sasuke unleashed a _Glare of Infinite Pain_, which Kakashi countered easily by completely ignoring it.

"Just hurry up and go." Shizune sighed exasperatedly, rubbing her temple with her fingers, her other hand wrapped around her waste, "You might be able to get into an argument with her and come out unscathed, but Izumo, Kotetsu and I are the ones who have to put up with her afterwards. I'm running out of places to hide the alcohol!"

"Saa, I'm already gone," Kakashi said, and Shizune (not to mention everyone else) blinked, realizing that he wasn't in front of her anymore, and was, in fact, standing right outside the door, about to walk down the hall to the Hokage's office.

Before he did however, he narrowed his eye slightly at his students, saying, "Bridge. Dawn. Don't be late."

Then he was gone. They didn't even hear his footsteps on the hardwood in the hallway.

"Damnit," Sasuke growled, "Hate to admit it, but he's good. Damn good."

Shizune sighed into her hand, "Well, I have to get these down to the ANBU office. You three are free I guess," she told them then paused, "Oh!" she said as if remembering something, "Except for Sakura-chan!" she turned to point at the younger shinobi, "Sakura-chan, you have clinic duty today," she told her.

"Oh, dang it, I forgot!" the kunoichi winced.

"_Ja mata, ne?_" Shizune smiled with a wink and turned to go, but Sasuke stopped her.

"Hey, Shizune-san," he called after her, "I'm going to the ANBU office today to see Aniki. I could bring those, if you want," he said, seemingly a little embarrassed that he was actually _volunteering_ to do a good deed. He generally liked to keep a badass reputation going. It was a sub-section of his whole angsty-loner image.

"Okay, that would be great," Shizune smiled, and handed him the papers, "This isn't classified or anything, but you might have to give it to the main receptionist instead of the Training Department receptionist, though. I don't know how much access they grant you. Bye, you three!" she waved as they idly said 'see you,' then left the room.

Once the three were sure no one was around to '_accidentally'_ overhear, they were all business.

"If the time Shizune said is right, then I've got about a half hour before I need to start heading over to the hospital." Sakura told her teammates as they huddled together conspiratorially.

Sasuke nodded, "Okay, once you leave, I'll go to the ANBU main building to talk to Aniki. I want to find out about Kakashi—"

"—And I'll interrogate Iruka-sensei. I'm certain I can get him to tell me something!" Naruto finished, and his teammates agreed.

"Good idea," Sasuke said, "We never did find out how they know each other. Iruka will probably cave before he Kakashi does. We'll show up a little before Dawn. If he keeps up his pattern, he'll be late and we'll have plenty of time to report our findings to each other."

"Oh yeah, Sakura," Naruto said.

"I suppose I did say that, didn't I…" Sakura realized, she leaned in close wearing a frown, "It really is confidential you know…" she whispered to them, "I probably shouldn't say…"

"Just spill it!" Naruto demanded excitedly, "Did it have anything to do with that medical appointment shizune-nee-chan was talking about? He seemed kind of put-out about it."

"He's phobic of doctors," Sakura told him and Naruto and Sasuke raised their eyebrows in surprise.

"What? No way!" Naruto exclaimed.

"He was also kind of mad when we were talking about his medical condition," Sasuke noted.

"Wouldn't _you_ be?" Sakura rationalized, "That doesn't really mean anything. Trust me. ANBU don't like it when you disclose their confidential information. They _really_ don't like it," Sakura told them. She knew from experience.

"But this medical-condition _does_ have something to do with it, right?" Sasuke asked more to himself than Sakura.

"To do with _what_?" Naruto snuffed, "We need a goal here. What are we trying to find. I've got to make a plan. I'm awesome, but Iruka is a _really good_ secret keeper, I need something to look for," he told them.

"We should start with how Iruka and Kakashi are connected," Sasuke decided. Naruto brightened excitedly, and was about to say something but Sasuke stopped him, "Save it for after Sakura's told us her information. Sakura?"

"I really shouldn't be saying this…" she hesitated.

"_Sakura…_" her teammates begged.

"Okay, fine! Kakashi's got…an illness. A psychological illness. It's the psychological aspects of his sickness that cause him to be so ill-looking and to have the seizures and shaking," Sakura said.

"So he really is crazy?" Naruto frowned. Why would Tsunade-baachan stick them with an insane person, even if they _were_ the legendary Hatake Kakashi? But he hadn't seemed insane; Sasuke was just exaggerating by saying that. Kakashi had seemed a little…well, Naruto wasn't sure how to explain it.

But Naruto hadn't thought he was crazy. Just that he'd had issues.

Sakura rolled her eyes, "He's _not_ crazy," (Naruto sighed in relief,) "He's not exactly dangerous or anything unless you were to come upon him after one of those seizures and try to touch him or something, although it's the seizures that are keeping him off missions. He hasn't had a mission in two weeks.

"He has depression, and suffers from flashbacks and mild hallucinations, although I don't think I've seen evidence of the later yet. The fact that he's in such a high stress environment what with ANBU and everything irritates his symptoms. And then there's the Sharingan. It's probably causing or agitating most of the major psychological problems."

"How do you know all this?" Sasuke frowned.

"I've got his medical file at home," she said, "I'm working with Shizune-san and Tsunade-shishou on his case. Apparently it started getting really bad fairly recently, they took him off missions and then it just got way worse. It sort of leads me to think that Kakashi uses missions as some sort of distraction from whatever mental-thinking-cycle is provoking his psychological symptoms. Of course, psychology isn't my expertise. I mostly do field-medicine, diagnosis, and experimental medicine."

Sasuke and Naruto just nodded their heads…a lot.

Sakura frowned, "You have no idea what that means do you?"

"We know enough to be happy that you're the doctor while all we have to know is how to do is beat people up," Naruto declared.

"What he said," Sasuke pointed at Naruto, then turning it into a poke.

Sakura sighed, "Anyways, I told Shizune that we needed a psychotherapist on the team and she said she was trying to get someone who retired a while ago—"

"Oh, oh!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly, "They are probably trying to get Iruka-sensei to do it!"

Sakura and Sasuke frowned confusedly, "What?"

"Yeah, you know he used to be a Toukubetsu Jounin! He was one for six years, you know! Started right after he passed the chunin exam! You remember how Iruka-sensei had been a substitute for us a lot one year? And then the next year, when our old teacher disappeared after a mission, he took over? Yeah, he gave up the status to teach our class! Before that he was a psychotherapist and medical-genjutsu specialist!" Naruto explained.

His teammates blinked a couple times to themselves. They'd never even realized that Iruka-sensei was anything other than…well, Iruka-sensei.

"I didn't know that…" Sasuke admitted. He hated admitting he was ignorant, so Naruto realized he must have been _really_ dumbfounded to let it slip.

"It does explain why Iruka-sensei was trying to provoke a reaction out of Kakashi-sensei. Apparently he's interested in Kakashi's condition," Sakura revealed.

"I had been wondering about that, too." Sasuke nodded in understanding.

"It makes sense," Naruto said, "Especially if you assume they know each other. But then again, Iruka-sensei would do that for anyone he thought needed it. He says he retired, but he always tries to help people anyways," he suddenly brightened, as if remembering something, "Oh yeah!" he said, "What I was going to say earlier: I had thought about how since you said Kakashi's like a psycho or whatever—"

"He's not a psycho, he just has a psychological, psychogenetic illness…" Sakura groaned.

"—Yeah, that." Naruto continued without missing a beat, not really knowing or caring what the difference was, "Well, since he had that, I thought the way that they might have met, was that Iruka-sensei had him as a patient or something!"

Sasuke's face lit up, "Yeah…you could be on to something…"

"No."

"What?" Naruto frowned at Sakura's instant contradiction, "_No_? 'No' what? _Why_?"

"I've got a copy of his medical records, remember? It lists psychotherapy sessions he's had and the people he had them with. I would have remembered if Iruka-sensei had been on that list."

"Damn," Sasuke cursed.

"But I do think that Iruka is the medic-nin psychiatrist that Shizune was talking to me about. It's too coincidental to be ignored," Sakura said, "But that's sort of beside the point be now. It doesn't help us find out how Iruka and Kakashi know each other. Shizune didn't act like they had any connection. They must have come into contact either outside a mission or before Tsunade-hime and Shizune-san came back from hermitage."

"Well, that's something at least," Naruto sighed.

"Yeah, guess so," Sakura nodded, but it still didn't feel like much to go on.

"We'll stick to the original plan for now," Sasuke said, "I'll talk to Aniki, Naruto-kun will interrogate Iruka-sensei, and Sakura-chan, you will try to find out what you can from Godaime. Come to think of it, if you see Jiraiya, try to drag something out of him too, Naruto-kun."

"Right."

"Okay."

---

Reviews!

**Kyra Windwood**, **My Chemical Romance Dude**, **Scoobyrocks**, here's that chapter you guys wanted so much! Thanks for reviewing and saying you want more! In fact, I'm already working on the next one: I had to split a huge chunk off of it because it would have been obnoxiously long.

**Kirallie**,** IluvJesus123**, **Tyn** and **Cherrie** I'm really glad you guys like my story, thanks for reviewing it!

**Robin Reen**, it makes me so excited that you took the initiative to look at my other works as well! Yes, a lot of people do like Providence Smiles and unfortunately I haven't had the motivation lately to do the next chapter, I just had so many other ideas that needed out _now_, you know? I'm thinking though, that after I add one more chapter of this story I will reread Provy and finish the next chapter. I'm just glad that everyone likes it so much. Thanks for reviewing!

**Patty**, thank you so much for reviewing, I love reviews that give me insight into my own writing! Yes, as you may have noticed there's more psych-stuff in this chappy too. I'm not a psychologist, so I'm mostly going off experience and my own observation for it and I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job. I was wondering if Kakashi's speech was a little too much, but Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto felt like they really needed it.

And by the way, this takes place around the time of the hurricane chronicles and very soon you will start to see parallels between what happens in Naruto II and this story. So the three kiddies are about 16, Iruka is about 25, Kakashi is about 28. Unless otherwise noted, assume all past events are the same as in the original. You'll notice this brings about a lot of problems, but don't worry, most everything will be explained as the story goes on. Thanks for reviewing!

**Bamf2me** more Iruka in this chapter, don't worry, he's about to become very prominent! Thanks for reviewing, I love long chapters too, and I'm so glad you like my attempts at humor! Half the time, things are funny to me in my head, but other people think its lame.

But that's just me.

**Liemtenshi** I _love_ Kakashi and Kakashi stories; there aren't nearly enough of them! I've read some pretty good one's and I'm so glad I'm number one on your list! Whoo hoo! I hope you enjoy the new chapter, Review again please!

**Nobiki**, yes, I was thinking it was a little much too, but I think that Kakashi realized that he had to get his kiddies to be able to relate to him, and if he showed them how he was like them, having issues that he was finding hard to get over, a little beat-up and broken, they'd be more likely to trust him. He's been mentoring messed-up people (like Itachi, he's pretty crazy if you think back to the OG Naruto) for a long time, he knows what he's doing.

Seeing as how AU's not your favorite, I'm so glad you gave this a shot! At first I didn't really like AU either, but if it's written well I feel that it can be one of the most fun and interesting genres. Thanks for reviewing; I hope to see a review from you again!

**Tampoposensei**, ah, yes, typographical errors, they sneak up on me so devilishly. I'll fix those…eventually. Ah, I love it when reviewers give me long reviews and critique my writing! I'm so glad you like it! I try my best to keep the characters as close as possible to the original thing, because those were the characters I fell in love with! Of course the different situations cause them to be different from the originals, but I'm trying to have them be how they would if that were the situation.

To address what you said on the flashbacks, there is so much that is different, (it may not seem so now, but as the story continues and there are more and more references to the past you will see), that I can't possible write an introductive paragraph to describe everything that has gone on. I feel that this is the best way for me to get my point across, and I think the added advantage to having the sections of flashbacks, outweighs the disadvantages. But thanks for telling me.

You've probably seen in this chapter, that Kakashi and Sakura have more of a connection than Sakura realizes, or remembers that is.

And I know a lot of what's going to happen, but not everything, and I agree, that knowing your own mind is definitely something that helps one finish a story. Thanks for reviewing, please do so again!

**Dilemmalicious** eh, those typos, stalk me, I swear! I look at the chapter and it's all pristine and wonderful, I post it and suddenly all kinds of things are messed up!

You draw for a living? Awesome. That's what I want to do. I'm so glad I inspired you! And I love, that I'm on your favorites list! Being on a favorite's list is a class-A achievement, in my book! Even better than reviews …well, maybe not better than reviews; I'll have to think on that one. You're offering to beta me? I like being able to post right after I've finished a chapter, and sending stuff off to be reread makes me impatient as all hell, but a beta would definitely be helpful, I'm not particularly fond of those typos myself…

I'm going to think on it, okay? In a day or two I might send you an e-mail. And by the way, are you British? I noticed the phrase 'bloody'. Thanks for taking an interest in my story! I'll email you soon! I just have to find the time.

**Read, Enjoy, and Review, Everyone!**


	5. Chapter 4

Something in Your Eyes

I don't own Naruto, but then you already knew that.

**Something in Your Eyes**

_(By LGR)_

**Chapter Four: Irreplaceable**

"_You can't replace them, so don't you dare tell me to."_

_-- _

Ghosting down the corridors, Kakashi turned corners and traversed halls, coming to a stop in front of a set of large double doors that he knew opened into the Hokage's office.

Feeling particularly more tired than usual and not exactly enthusiastic about his first day back on the job, he couldn't remember for the life of him what the Hokage wanted, nor that she had wanted anything in the first place. No doubt she'd be pissed at him as soon as he walked in there, so he'd better think fast, otherwise he'd have to bullshit his way through and that was always a chancy prospect at best, and would just get him into more trouble at worst, especially with the granddaughter of the First Hokage.

Loitering in front of the door, Kakashi took advantage of his behavioral-camouflage technique that he had perfected at age eight, to avoid being questioned by the guards. Gazing forlornly at the two doors and their two shinobi sentinels, he wondered if he could get away with pleading illness and just leave. Instantly after thinking the thought, he denounced it: for one thing it was cowardly, for another he would have to admit he was ill in the first place, (which he would never do willingly, he had his pride after all), and concurrently, being ill would just mean Tsunade would demand to see him anyways, her being a _doctor_ and all that jazz.

So basically he was fucked.

This was turning out to be just one of those days…(that sucked ass).

Gathering what courage and wits he possessed, (and that hadn't died in that room with his three new pupils, Iruka-sensei and the two Jounin five minutes ago, that is), he slipped out of his neutral posture and approached the guards in a suicide attempt at entering the _Lair of the Dragon_.

Or, you know, Tsunade's office. But he could make an argument for the former.

The two shinobi were a little surprised upon noticing him, even though he'd made an effort be make sure he didn't startle them by seemingly appearing out of nowhere, when suddenly Kakashi realized he wasn't wearing his ANBU gear. Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn…

"State your purpose, shinobi," the left-hand guard, (Kakashi was pretty sure his name was Hagane Kotestu), demanded.

The right-hand guard (if the left-hand guard was Kotestu then this shinobi was probably Kamizuki Izumo, he knew their names mostly, but he got them mixed up sometimes, despite the fact they looked nothing alike), seemed to squint at him for a second, turning his head this way and that as if Kakashi was an abstract painting of some unknown object the man couldn't quite identify.

At the attention, Kakashi began to notice that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he mentally withdrew without thinking, making the two guards frown as they fought to keep him in their sights.

"Ah, so that _is_ you, Kakashi-san," Izumo chuckled, identifying Kakashi by his ability to sink into the background at will, "I hardly recognized you without your other uniform. Did Godaime-sama finally get to you?" the chunin asked sunnily but then suddenly winced.

Izumo had just grasped the fact that he'd spoken to _Hatake Kakashi_, ANBU top Assassin-extraordinaire, as if they were old buddies which (as everyone here knew) they weren't. Did Izumo have a death wish or something? The chunin thought that deep down he must to say something like that to Kakashi-san.

For Kakashi's part, he saw the wince, realized that he couldn't remember ever actually speaking to the two ninja before, and came to the conclusion that the wince was Izumo thinking he'd spoken out of turn.

He briefly wondered when he had given them the impression that he would take offence to that sort of thing. He didn't really care what people thought of him anymore, he'd had to get over that as a child, or else follow…well, follow Him into…into the afterlife. Kakashi didn't want anyone to be afraid of him, though…at least not unless it was good for them to be. Sometimes some good ol'fashioned fear was exactly what the (good and non-sucky) doctor (if there was such a thing) ordered.

It seemed that Kotestu didn't have the same hang-up's as his partner Izumo did, however, as he didn't cut corners when he said gruffly, "Kakashi-san, could you stop doing that stealth-stuff every time you come up here, it's unnerving! How the hell do you do that, anyways?"

"Saa, it's a secret," Kakashi answered, holding a finger to his mouth and mock smiling, his eye curving with mischief. It was worth it: the two shinobi (yeah, both of them. Apparently Kotestu had thought he was a cold son-of-a-bitch, too. Well, hopefully they knew better now), appeared to be under mild shock at Kakashi not only saying something to them, but having what vaguely resembled a personality.

"Sooo," Kakashi began after a moment or two of admiring the pair of shinobi's expressions and feeling oddly good about himself, "You guys going to make me go in or can I use you two as scapegoats and just twiddle on back to the hole I call an apartment and sleep off my woes?" Kakashi asked them waiting for another shocked reaction and getting it.

Sometimes he just couldn't help poking and prodding at people, it was just so entertaining.

Kotetsu recovered first, saying soberly, "Like hell! Godaime would have our asses if we let you run off without seeing her first."

Izumo followed by grimacing, "Yeah, sorry Kakashi-san, but you better just get whatever it is over with now. What did you do wrong this time that she wants to see you for, anyway?" he asked heartily, slipping back into his former attitude seamlessly, as if he talked to Kakashi everyday. Maybe Izumo was just like that, or something.

"Saa, I don't know, but apparently I'm late for it." Kakashi remarked, letting a little of his irritation at Tsunade leak into his voice.

Kotestu smirked wryly, "You're always late," he chided.

"I know," Kakashi agreed, "So you'd think she'd be used to it by now and get over it…" Kakashi held out both his hands out as if to say '_You see? I'm the innocent here!'_

Izumo laughed and Kotetsu shook his head at the ANBU, fighting off a smile. Both smiles were whipped away instantly, however, as a voice from inside the office said, "Kakashi? Is that you?"

Izumo and Kotetsu jumped away from the doors as they opened, revealing a frowning Tsunade with her arms crossed dispassionately.

"Where the hell have you been? I sent Shizune after you over an hour ago!" Tsunade shrieked angrily. Izumo and Kotetsu were cowering in fear and Kakashi had a suspicion that if he hadn't been wearing a mask, he would look stupefied. Despite this, Kakashi couldn't help but wonder what stretch of logic allowed Tsunade to suppose that Shizune's taking an hour to find him when he was in the unused room across from the Shinobi Mission's desk, (exactly where he said he was going to be!), was his fault. Because it _sooo_ wasn't his fault; if it was anyone's, it was Shizune's.

Tsunade turned to walk back into her office, expecting Kakashi to follow her inside. While she wasn't looking, Kakashi turned to Izumo and Kotestu and put his hands around his throat, pretending to choke himself. Presumably from Tsunade's bitching.

They both had to put their hands over there mouths, trying in vain to muffle the sounds of their snickering.

"Kakashi!" Tsunade yelled, causing them all to startle, but apparently it was just a reflex because she didn't seem to have noticed what had been going on behind her back. Kakashi vaguely wondered what it said about him that Tsunade-hime reflexively shouted his name. Or, hell, what did it say about _Tsunade_? It probably meant he was a pain in the ass, but then again he'd already known that. Oh well.

"Coming Godaime-sama," the ANBU said with perfect neutrality and walked into the underworld—oh, excuse him, _Tsunade's Office_.

As soon as the doors closed behind them, Kakashi heard a burst of muffled laughter. He pretending not to have heard it as he walked to the middle of the office and Tsunade stood for a moment behind her desk, looking at the two doors suspiciously for a moment wearing a frown.

"What are they laughing about?" she wondered aloud, eyes drifting to land on Kakashi as if she somehow knew that whatever it was had originated from him.

Kakashi shrugged.

Her frown deepened, indicating she still suspected he had a part in it, no matter what he indicated to the contrary, but the silver haired-shinobi didn't react. She shook her head and changed the subject, "You're not wearing your ANBU uniform," she said, sitting down and shuffling a few papers out of her way.

"Don't worry; I'll wear it next time." Kakashi assured, knowing full well that was the last thing she wanted to hear.

Tsunade didn't bother getting angry, and just continued speaking, "I was notified that you extracted Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto's shinobi files, so you must have gotten my scroll, so why, pray tell, are you so late? Hm? Can you tell me that?"

Kakashi looked at her in disbelief, "The scroll? It didn't say anything about a meeting, I didn't even know about it until Shizune-san said I was late for it."

"Usually your excuses are a little more colorful than this…" Tsunade quipped.

Kakashi suddenly remembered that he still had the scroll in his flak jacket. Pulling it out, he tossed it to Godaime, secure in the fact that it said nothing of the kind. Tsunade caught it, blinked at it for a second then opened the scroll to read it. By the time she came to the end she was laughing nervously from embarrassment.

"It would seem…that I wasn't late after all, hm?" Kakashi commented, his tone full of mock awe as if this was a stunning revelation akin to learning that the Akatsuki's main goal was to create an orphanage for puppies.

"For once," Tsunade growled.

"I felt that," Kakashi saidin mock sorrow, placing his hand over his heart, "right here."

Tsunade glared at him but he diffused it by giving her puppy eyes back and she suddenly smiled wryly to herself, "You punk," she told him, but the words held only endearment. "I used to watch you for your parents when you were in diapers, so don't give me your cheek."

Observe, exhibit A: the real reason he got away with being a little bitch around here. Sadly, it was true.

Against all logic and his better judgment, he took it perhaps a step too far, saying, "Saa, define 'cheek'…"

"_Come over here, and I'll define cheek for you!"_

"No thanks," he declined immediately.

Tsunade snuffed haughtily, "I thought that was the case," she said, "Well, how has the day gone so far?"

The ANBU shrugged, reluctant to talk about his day. He already knew how Tsunade would react if she found out about his little accident. Can you say '_instantaneous death'_? And by death, he meant being yelled at a whole freaking lot. Kakashi thought that given the choice, he would choose death.

"Saa, it went okay…" he began, determined to gloss over the day by using as few words as possible. He began ticking off his activities with his fingers. "I woke up, went to the memorial stone, suffered through a chat with Jiraiya—he asked me about my uniform too, how about that?—arrived at the west bridge—"

"Late!" Tsunade inserted. God damn, did he have to get this from _everyone_ he talked to?

"I was _not_ late," he informed her indignantly, "I was there _exactly_ when I intended to be." He explained, then returned to his previous train of thought, "After that I started feeling a little down, so I perked myself up by sneaking up on the kiddoes and scaring them a bit." He smiled slightly at the fond memory. "That was fun," he said.

"What did you do?" Tsunade asked suspiciously. He had to admit, she had cause to be suspicious. What he considered fun was unconventional at best, psychological torture at worst.

"Just snuck up behind them unexpectedly," he explained. It really wasn't a big deal compared to the shit he put Itachi through years ago. Remembering one such incident that had Itachi throwing a tantrum like a three year old, he couldn't help but feel proud of himself. Oh man…those were the days. "I saw the three yesterday and let them borrow a book from me, so when I spoke to them it when something like. _'Gasp! It's you!_', and I was like, _'Gasp, It's me!'_" He nodded to himself in approval at the deed. "You should have been there, it was great…" he told Tsunade. It _was_ great. Totally hilarious.

Tsunade frowned in confusion. "Wait, wait, wait, you saw them yesterday?"

He probably shouldn't have elaborated, but he did anyways. It would just make the awesome-ness of what he had done that much more evident. "They were eating Ramen at Ichiraku with that sensei of theirs, Iruka, and they were going on about how they wished they had a Bingo book so they could get information about their,"—quotation fingers—"_ANBU-sensei_, but how it would be impossible to get a hold of one, so I just had to prove them wrong…" Yeah, it was like a two for one deal: two mini-pranks from one action!

The Hokage smirked in a way that should have made him nervous. In all actuality it did make him nervous, but he would never admit it. "So that's why you agreed to teach them yesterday!" Tsunade declared with a smug '_eureka_!' expression.

"What? No!" Kakashi denied immediately.

"Yeah, that's it," she affirmed to herself, crossing her arms over her ample breasts.

"No, no! It wasn't!" the ANBU told her with a glare. There was no way he would admit to being so sentimental. Not a chance.

"Sure," Tsunade agreed. She obviously didn't mean it.

"It wasn't…" Kakashi growled one last time. Shit, if this kept up he would sound like Sasuke. Ugh, the very idea of that was disturbing.

"Right," Godaime said and rolled her eyes. "Anyways, continue," she made a shooing motion with her hands that was mildly insulting. Damn, he wanted to get this over with.

Kakashi glared at her but did as commanded. "To continue, after I being so _rudely_ interrupted…" he told her. Tsunade just rolled her eyes yet again. Glares didn't really work on people who'd known you since the cradle, and it was a damned shame, too.

Recommencing with his report, Kakashi was purposefully as brief and vague as possible except in instances were he felt compelled to elaborate, such as how Sakura had insulted his hair style, Naruto told him his lies were so good he should win an award and Sasuke's aversion to a puppy story that Kakashi planned to wrangle out of Itachi as soon as the opportunity presented itself. He stripped down the speech debacle to about a sentence and took to mumbling the rest.

Unfortunately, mumbling doesn't work on Tsunade.

"You _WHAT_!" It was every bit as loud as he suspected it would be. His ears would be ringing for hours.

"I had a seizure. In front of the kiddies. And Iruka-san. And these two Jounin…but it was just a little one!" he assured, trying to appease her. He even mimed holding something tiny, with his fingers a hair's breadth apart, while squinting his eyes as if trying to look at something infinitesimally small. "Tiny! _Miniscule_!" he added, desperately trying to convince her.

"I'm moving your appointment to tomorrow!" she declared angrily, her eyes flashing. Hey, it wasn't _his_ fault he'd had a seizure! It wasn't as if he'd planned it or anything, quite the opposite, actually!

"Shizune already did," he informed her, trying to deflate her anger before it even started. He was pretty sure he'd failed, but his pride demanded he at least make an attempt.

"Good, I knew she was my assistant for something!" Tsunade shouted. Ouch, poor Shizune. What a back-handed compliment that sentence was.

He tried to keep what happened after that to himself, (not that there was much to tell), but she dragged it out of him expertly. While questioning him, Godaime suddenly stopped him mid-sentence, and told him to grab a chair (_RIGHT THIS SECOND!)_ and sit down before he had another seizure and gave him a concussion along with it this time, (she was purposely vague as to whether he'd get the concussion from falling during a seizure or from her personally via a fist to his face). Getting up from her desk, the medical ninja examined him with a doctor's eye, and pronounced that he seemed to be alright at the moment, except for fatigue and stress, which he'd already known about.

Tsunade growled. "You were having flashbacks and absent seizures all day, weren't you? God damn it! Do I have to beat you to death to get you to take care of yourself?" (Kakashi was about to mention that her question seemed counterintuitive as the point was for him to be well and healthy, as opposed to bruised and bloody, but Tsunade continued before he could comment,) "Shizune and I discussed it and we are both adamant in our belief that the Sharingan is a key part of your affliction—and don't give me any of that shit about Obito punishing you! I've heard it before and I'm not impressed. If you pull a stunt like you did ten years ago I will have you in the psych ward before you can say '_electroshock therapy'_! You got that?"

Kakashi blinked up at Tsunade in mild astonishment, feeling himself withdraw away from her and begin to melt into the background. She suddenly slammed her fist on the table, and he felt like he'd jumped a foot out of his skin as she darkened her glare. He realized she wanted him to verbally acknowledge that he agreed to her demands.

"Hai, Tsunade-mataitoko," he told her gravely and with compete seriousness, and Kakashi couldn't think of any single point when he had ever been more frightened or respectful of Tsunade in his entire live.

The hokage narrowed her eyes at the title, perhaps thinking he was using the claim of kinship to mock her in some way, but he wasn't and Godaime realized that after a moment's consideration.

She nodded sharply, trusting him to keep his word, "Now," she said, "As soon we're done here, I'm interviewing a medical genjutsu specialist for our team, and don't even think about arguing! Shizune and I also happened to agree that if you weren't such a sulk, this wouldn't be nearly the problem that it is now. Obviously you can't help it, but that just means you have to seek treatment, or at the very least _accept_ treatment."

Looking at him for a moment to make sure he wasn't going to disagree, she sighed and turned to sit back at her desk, "One last thing before you go, Kakashi, does a place called _Nami-no-Kuni_/The Land of Waves, mean anything to you?"

Kakashi hadn't a clue why she would ask this, but he answered anyways, immediately slipping into a mission-like seriousness. "Of course it does. Four years ago, Mizuki, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were given a C-class mission assignment to escort an architect to the Land of Waves, but as it turned out, the architect had a gang leader named Gato after his life for trying to break the man's monopoly on shipping and exporting goods by building a bridge to connect it to the mainland of the Fire country.

He continued, "It soon became clear that the mission deserved a B or even A-class label, but despite this, the team managed to defeat Gato's ninjas and deliver him to justice. It was suspected that a missing-nin had been pulling the strings because of information that came up in questioning where most every one of the henchmen and Gato all agreed that a powerful Shinobi and his apprentice had been dictating their actions. No trace of said persons were ever recovered and though it's common for criminals to blame their actions on others, it seemed unlikely that all of his goons would be able to testify similarly, even if they were told to in advance."

Tsunade smirked slightly, "See, you have been keeping an eye on them, all along," she said, but didn't give him time to react before getting back to business, "All of that is correct. To expand on your summery, most of those men were able to positively identify the missing-nin from _Mizu-no-Kuni_/The Land of Water and Akatsuki member, Momochi Zabuza from a line up of pictures. The apprentice, however, is yet to be named, but he was said to wear Mizu-no-Kuni Hunter-nin attire and the witnesses swear that he can perform seals for Jutsu with a single hand, and used Ice Jutsu and senbon needles as his primary weapons."

Kakashi nodded to himself, "Saa, Momochi Zabuza, the one called _Kirigakure-no-Kijin_/The Demon of the Hidden Mist Village, because he slaughtered all of his peers single-handedly in a ceremony where the graduating shinobi of Kirigakure were pitted against one another. He later attempted a coup d'ètat of Mizu-no-Kuni with a number of other shinobi but was ultimately unsuccessful and has since been declared a missing-nin. So he's an Akatsuki member now, when did that happen?"

"It wasn't until Itachi left the Akatsuki," Tsunade informed him, "he must have been recruited sometime between then and now; a three year span of time. We don't know exactly when it occurred."

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, at Tsunade. "So what's happened that you think involves Momochi Zabuza?" Kakashi asked, knowingly

She didn't deny it, just began to explain. "A week ago, we received intelligence from a Team of Shinobi in Nami-no-Kuni that Momochi Zabuza and his apprentice had been sighted in the area by its inhabitants. We dispatched a missive telling the team to stay and investigate these rumors to establish their truthfulness and just this morning I've received a scroll telling me that it's true. And not only is Zabuza there, but Hoshigaki Kisame as well. At present, it doesn't appear that Akatsuki is aware of our agents in the area, but that could change at any time. This is a perfect opportunity to ambush them."

Tsunade sighed, as if gathering her courage. Kakashi suspected she was about to say something he wouldn't like. That he _really_ wouldn't like. "Along with the team already in place, I want to send your team. Think you can keep it together that long?"

And there it was.

"_My_ team?" Kakashi repeated, dumbfounded, "_They_ are the team!" he insisted angrily, his tone almost hysterical. "I'm just the guy they met _today_! And you're expecting us to go up against _Akatsuki members_?" He crushed his eyebrows together in bewilderment. "Where do you come up with this shit?" he asked her mockingly. "Do you just tell everyone to put the worst ideas they can think of into a hat and then pick them out one by one?"

Godaime kept her features calm, in contrast to the ANBU, as she explained herself. "Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura have experience in the area and know the people, making it easier to set up a trap. All three of them also have experience dealing with Orochimaru, a former Akatsuki member. They are skilled and powerful and used to employing teamwork to accomplish their goals. Furthermore, _you'll_ be there. You've defeated an Akatsuki member before; maybe you can do it again. I'm completely confident in this team's ability to perform. I believe that there is a strong possibility for success."

"Yeah, I defeated an Akatsuki member, _THAT I TRAINED MYSELF_!" Kakashi exclaimed, "There is no comparison here, okay? Absolutely none! You're going to get us all killed!" he covered his eye with his hand in thought as he considered aloud, "Why are you doing this? How is this making sense to you?"

"Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura ha—" Tsunade began to repeat, but was cut off.

Kakashi dismissed her argument. "I heard your bullshit explanation; I don't need to listen to it again to tell you it's a load of crap. It's true, about the kids at least, but the fact remains, you're setting us up to be slaughtered."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "Kakashi you—"

"You know," he began in sudden understanding, interrupting her yet again. "Now that I think about it, it is highly irregular to admit a Medic-nin into the ANBU. There are never enough medical shinobi and it seems like a waste to put Sakura in a job where she'll mostly be committing silent, instant assassination, where it's pretty much black and white, you live or you die. There isn't much in-between time for healing, but I'd written it off as wanting to keep the team together.

"And Naruto is extremely powerful," Kakashi admitted, "but his temperament doesn't lend itself well to the work. He lives by the philosophy, '_I want to protect my village'_, and there is a large amount of ANBU assassinations that have nothing to do with the safety of our village, and everything to do with money and commissions; something that holds little value to him even when it protects the villages cash flow. It's his passion to protect his loved ones that motivates him to become stronger, and taking him out of that environment, into an organization like ANBU, could be devastating to his growth as a shinobi.

"In fact all of them are unsuited, disposition-wise," he realized in wonderment, "They listen to those they respect, not those that someone else placed in charge of them. They bend the rules based on their own morality and you can't do that in ANBU, otherwise the system would fail. Sasuke has the most potential as an ANBU operative, but if anything he has more of a problem with authority than the others, and he's paranoid beyond belief. It is essential that a shinobi be on his guard, but there needs to be a trust between a shinobi and his village, and Sasuke thinks we're all out to get him. There is no one he could cooperate with outside of his own team, so I can't see him doing anything without Sakura and Naruto being involved as well."

Fixing Tsunade with his lone, visible eye, Kakashi said, "So the question remains: Why did you put them in ANBU? Why did you give them to me?"

The Fifth frowned without answering. She was trying to maintain a front of innocence, but he saw it as just that: a _front._ It angered him to a great extant that Tsunade would play these stupid games with him. What ever happened to trust between shinobi? Maybe Sasuke had the right idea after all.

Kakashi went on, his tone livid. "I'll tell you why," he said with a glare. "You don't want me to train them to be ANBU—you want me to make them into fucking messiahs that can rival the Akatsuki!"

"Yeah, okay? I do!" Tsunade admitted with a shout, jumping to her feet to lean over her desk, meeting Kakashi's resentful gaze with one of her own. "I want you to make them as strong as they can be—stronger than anyone!—so that if someone comes along and tries to kill them, they will be able to _take him out_! So that when the Akatsuki comes after the nine-tails _jinchuuriki_, they will have the skills and power necessary to resist capture. I will do anything, _anything_, to make sure this village stays safe and if that means getting you off your lazy ass and having you spend a couple hours a day training these kids instead of gallivanting around, doing missions for ANBU, than that's what I'm going to do!" Sarcastically she added, "I'm _sorry_ if my method to ensure our survival is _inconvenient_ for you!"

He was silent for a moment, then quietly said, "You think I'm angry because you took me off ANBU missions and asked me to teach those kids. You think that's why I object to your plan…"

Godaime frowned in confusion. "Yes, isn't that why?" she inquired of him. "It seems to me, that '_underneath the underneath'_, you blame me for forcing you out of complacency. For making you do something you find uncomfortable. For making you do something that you don't want to do."

"It saddens me that you really think I'm that selfish..." Kakashi told her, averting his eyes to the ground. He hadn't realized she thought of him that way. And if _she_ thought he was simply a child, whining about being given some work that was actually a challenge, than what did Jiraiya think? Probably something similar. They were probably the only two people in the entire village whose opinion he gave a damn about and to them he was wishy-washy fool. It really hurt him, more than he would ever admit.

Godaime seemed to see this and gave him a way to redeem himself. "Then tell me that's not the reason behind your disapproval," she demanded. "Tell me and I'll believe you."

Kakashi sighed. "You're right that I didn't want to be the one to break them into ANBU," the shinobi admitted reasonably. "That I found it uncomfortable and it would be much easier for me to just continue on in ANBU as I had been. I even agree that for those three to become strong is in the best interest of this village. I even think that, given time, perhaps even just a relatively short amount of time, that they could be the rivals to Akatsuki that you predict they can be, given the proper guidance. And you should know that I don't back down from things just because they are difficult or unappealing. That if I honestly believed I was the one to provide that guidance, no matter what obstacles or discomfort that it brought on me, I would do it anyways. I'm just telling you that it's not me, I can feel it. I'm not the one to turn your shinobi into saviors."

"So you don't want to teach them because you doubt your own abilities to do so," Tsunade clarified.

Kakashi nodded, staring down at the floor. "I said as much to Jiraiya when he asked me to do the job," he reminded her.

She shook her head sadly. "Are they really just a job for you? Just a mission? Something you do because it was set for you to do, not because you enjoy it or _want_ to do it?"

Narrowing his eyes, he looked up at her determinedly. "No, they aren't, and that's why they deserve the best. Someone better than me. I can't afford to screw up with them. They aren't just any other kids to me. I don't have many people left, you know."

"Then why did you agree yesterday, even when you were thinking all of this?" Tsunade asked.

Kakashi wondered if he could just says _'Peer-pressure?'_ and be done with it, but he suspected that strategy wouldn't work very well. He thought for a moment, then said, "I saw them yesterday and they were such a good team, such good friends, that I began to see what Jiraiya meant about them not fucking things up like Orochimaru did for your team. I kind of got the feeling that I wouldn't mind being part of that. And then what clinched it was when I started thinking about how I wanted to redeem myself, I guess. It sounds stupid now that I say it aloud." He laughed bitterly at himself, "As if anything I could do now could actually make up for my years of neglecting them," he hung his head and said, "I'm so pathetic."

Tsunade shook her but replied, "Yeah, you are pathetic."

He shrugged cynically, "I'm not even going to get mad, because it's true."

After hearing his response, Tsunade was silent, apparently thinking on what the man had just said, although he wasn't sure what there was to think about.

Finally she asked him, "Just yesterday you came in here saying you would do it, so what's different about now? The day hadn't sounded so bad when you went over it earlier, in fact I got the impression that it had been a rather good day, minus the seizure-debacle." Minus the seizure debacle _and_ this whole conversation, it might not have been a _total_ loss...

He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, tilting his head to fix her with his lone visible eye. "What are you getting at?"

"What I'm getting at is that we always knew you held symptoms of depression, but thought they were isolated incidences caused by your emotional reactions to flashbacks. And even if they were symptoms of clinical depression, most of the medical drugs for it disrupt charka production and usage, so there isn't much we can do for sufferers. It's fairly clear to me now that this is a manifestation of your condition. This isn't you, Kakashi," she insisted.

He felt like laughing morbidly. "You're wrong, Tsunade-hime, this is me. This miserable piece of shit is me," he said dejectedly.

Tsunade shook her head, "It's natural to feel doubt, sadness and guilt over things that happened in the past, but over time, living your day to day life usually distracts you and those feelings become less pronounced. It should get easier over time, not harder, Kakashi."

The ANBU shrugged indifferently. "So I'm fucked up. I already knew that," he said unhelpfully.

Godaime groaned and began kneading her temple with her fingers; giving the impression she was trying to relieve a headache. (And he could guess who gave her that headache easily enough). "You have to let things go, Kakashi. Let people in every once in a while. One reason why these deaths lay so heavily on you is that you're loosing people, but not bothering to replace them, you—"

Kakashi snapped. He could hear her tell him anything but that. Anything, but to replace the one's he'd lost. Where there lives so meaningless? Like a kitchen utility that, once broken, you didn't bother to mourn but just threw it away and bought a replacement? Just fucking tools to be used? Humans, even shinobi, weren't able to be exchanged for another. Souls like the ones who'd died on his watch were infinitely important, all of equal significance, but unable to be replaced with any other. Once they were gone, they were gone forever and Tsunade had the gall to insist he find _replacements_ for them?

"_Replace_ them?" he mimicked in disgust. "You can't just _replace_ a father!" he insisted, the volume of his voice rising, his tone being angry and hostile. "You can't just _replace _a mentor! Damn it, you can't just _replace_ a best friend! Or a girlfriend! Or ten fucking years when you were supposed to be looking after their families! _You can't! You fucking can't, so don't you dare tell me to!_"

He was already at the door and yanking it open by the time Godaime recovered from the unexpected verbal barrage. "Wait, Kakashi!" she yelled, but it was too late, he'd already slammed the doors closed behind him. He could hear her not bothering with stealth and simply leaping around her desk as fast as one of the great Sanin of the village could to follow him, but didn't give a damn.

"Kakashi-san!" he heard. Whipping around in alarm, he saw none other than Umino Iruka with his eyes wide and surprised, standing next to Shizune with Kotestu and Izumo confused in their positions flanking the doors, as they had when he entered earlier.

Kakashi couldn't stand being looked at by Iruka. Shit, he just couldn't. In his eyes was worry and sympathy and Kakashi just didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve a damn ounce of that man's compassion. He flinched away from the shinobi's gaze like it was a heated laser on his skin, and fled down the hall as Tsunade angrily burst through the door and Kakashi heard Iruka yell, "Kakashi-san!" after him one more time.

--

It was roughly 4:15 in the afternoon. If the guards were lax, than they'd let Sasuke stay for longer than the allotted hour of time, until six. Maybe.

No, he didn't know who he was kidding either.

Despite how many times the chunin came to the ANBU main building, the guards at the door always required he show them his shinobi-identification card, and the ten minutes of dealing with two hollow-voiced masks who went by the philosophy guilty-until-proven-innocent, were never satisfied with his reasons for needing to enter the building.

They let him in, but they were jerks about it.

Why were all ANBU jackasses? Sasuke had noticed that about the secretive shinobi. They were all _jackasses…_well, except for his Aniki and Yamato Taicho. They were okay. But Kakashi was _definitely_ a jackass! Sasuke had immediately disliked the man. In fact, he _still_ didn't like him.

What did Itachi see in that guy? He was a lazy, unpunctual jerk. And he had mental issues. And didn't show his face. And he read obscene books (Oh, Sasuke had seen him pull out one of those Icha Icha novels while they were filling out piles of paperwork, which he _also_ didn't appreciate, by the way). And probably more things, but Sasuke had only had a short amount of time to observe his many shortcomings. They were surely too numerous to be witnessed in a single day.

By tomorrow the chunin would undoubtedly have more faults to lay at Kakashi's feet. He seemed to be that sort of unreliable-weirdo. What the hell did he know about being betrayed? What the _hell_ did he know? He couldn't just deliver some speech and expect Sasuke to take his word for it that he was trustworthy! He wasn't born yesterday after all, and frankly, he resented the fact that Kakashi seemed not to have acknowledged that!

That, if nothing else, was proof-positive that the man was off his rocker.

And Kakashi didn't know a god-damn thing about the puppy-story! He was lying his ass off; no one knew about that!

…

…They didn't!

Besides, who could trust someone who was keeping information from them? Who had some sort of conspiracy with Iruka–sensei? Sasuke had liked Iruka, he was one of the few people who was exactly who they said they were. And now Sasuke found out that he had some secret past or something? What the hell was that all about?

Yes, he was irritable right now. Playing twenty questions with the ANBU guardsmen had pissed him off. ANBU tended to do that, he'd noticed.

Stupid guards. Stupid Kakashi. Stupid kunoichi who was giving him dirty looks as he walked passed the ANBU main desk. He did it three times every week. You'd think she'd stop looking at him like he was some sort of juvenile delinquent. What was her deal? Whatever, he didn't care. He was cool. Apathetic. Zen…well, maybe not Zen.

He glared at her. She always backed off when he gave her his _What-the-hell-are-you-looking-at? Glare_.

Kakashi seemed to be immune to glares. He was the best Sasuke had ever seen at ignoring him. He hated to admit it, but that man was good. Damn good. He practically melted into the background when he was standing still. He looked boneless when he moved, so fluid, perfectly silent…everything Sasuke had always imagined an ANBU should be. Everything he wanted to be; needed to be for his Aniki.

He and Tsunade had made a deal. If Sasuke could become an ANBU of sufficient skill, she would allow him to take custody of his brother. He'd be out of that godforsaken holding cell, he'd be relatively free. Sasuke would be able to see him everyday.

Sasuke needed to be like Kakashi; the best ANBU ever…except without the insane parts. And the tardiness. And the perverted books, of course, that was a given.

This person who his brother spoke so highly of…who was he really? What was he hiding? Sasuke needed to find out. He needed to know about this person who said he'd experienced the same pain as he, who said it like he really _did_ know.

_Certainly_ not because Sasuke believed him, or anything! And definitely not because he was curious. In fact he didn't even care! It was mostly because Naruto and Sakura were so interested, really…

…

…yeah, he didn't believe it either.

Walking through the halls, passing offices and many suspiciously closed doors with too many locks, chakra seals, and no door label, he managed to reach his destination without the need for anymore glares, (he was a little sad about that one, he hadn't had a chance to exercise his _I'm-a-very-angsty-and-angry-person-at-the-moment-don't-mess-with-me-on-pain-of-death Glare_.)

Stopping in front of the Training Department main desk, the sour-faced man writing something in a date book stopped what he was doing immediately to fix Sasuke with a frown.

Did ANBU frown all the time? Was it like a requirement? He couldn't be sure if masked ANBU made a habit of frowning, but the guards that loitered at the entrance always seemed to be pissed about something or other. Even with their faces covered, it was safe to say they frowned at him while they interrogated—Oh, excuse him, while they _questioned_ him. ANBU Bastards.

Kakashi he had no idea about. Fucking mask. Despite all the bad-mouthing Sasuke had done to him, Kakashi had only seemed genuinely angry when Shizune had changed his medical appointment. Sasuke had also detected a little bit of annoyance when the ANBU had mentioned Itachi wasn't as sarcastic as he, Sasuke, was, right afterward. Considering that statement, Sasuke couldn't help but note that Kakashi was right. Itachi wasn't the _snappishly-ironic, badass-angsty don't-give-me-shit-or-I'll-make-you-eat-it _type of person. He was more of the _silently-brooding, coldly-condescending I'm-being-perfectly-polite-but-I'm-actually-murdering-you-with-my-mind-right-now_ type of person.

But anyways, Sasuke had stared down the little clerk (probably a crazy-ass shinobi, but what the hell, he liked living dangerously,) until the man frowned deeper (See? Yet another ANBU frowning! There was your proof!), and asked, "Can I help you with something?" He was very snooty about it, too. What a dick.

"Yes," Sasuke said in a very dry and patronizing sort of tone (it was his favorite one), "I understand that the training department requires this paperwork," he said and held up the three packets of documentation for the desk-clerk to see.

The man narrowed his eyes and lifted one eyebrow slightly, "And what paperwork might that be?" He said it very angrily. Very angry people, these ANBU. Except for Kakashi, he seemed consistently cool. Damn that guy! Or maybe he was just very good at hiding it? Hmmmm…

Sasuke gave the man an exaggerated _Are-you-stupid-or-something? Blink_. It said what they were on the front of the goddamn papers! Some people…(were just idiots).

Sadly (it sort of interfered with the image he was trying to portray here, but it couldn't be helped), Sasuke had to take a second to look at the title on the documents and reiterate it to the man. In fact he had to siphon through all the pages as there was more than one set of documents in the packet. "Standard-service-to-ANBU transfer papers, liability documentation, and ANBU:ROOT-division-to-individual-instruction transfer papers." He named them off.

The man blinked.

He held out his hand, and Sasuke gave him the papers. The man pried out the staples in the packets, muttering something about how they shouldn't have stapled them (Kakashi told them to, it was _his_ fault!), and began rifling through them, apparently making sure everything was in order. Or whatever.

Coming upon the ROOT div. transfer papers, the man did a double-take and stared for a few moments at a signature about half way down on the page. Shuffling quickly through the packet he looked at the same page on the other's then turned and looked at Sasuke strangely. The chunin couldn't help but frown at the shinobi's odd behavior. Damn it, now he was frowning, too. Oh wait, he always frowned. Nevermind.

"Three of you, huh? Under Hatake-sama's wing?"

Sasuke tried to keep his face neutral as he said, "Yeah." But don't call him Hatake-sama, he thought, he doesn't like that.

The man sighed and shrugged. "You'll either be prodigies or martyrs, is all I have to say." He straightened the papers by tapping them on his desk and looked up to Sasuke, saying, "Everything seems to be in order here. Continue about your business."

Oh-kay…

Sasuke fled—er, _left_ the desk.

It was another trek through the labyrinthine like building, then another ten minute banter-fest with the guards who watched Itachi, before he was finally shown into a small, plain white room with a table, two chairs, two doors and two mirrors each taking up the two opposite walls not obstructed by doors. He was made to wait in one of the chairs for another five minutes or so before an ANBU opened the door opposite Sasuke had come in, and walked into the room with Itachi.

Despite the mediatory circumstances involved in his crime, it was still considered treason to abandon one's village. Perhaps the only reason he was still alive was his full cooperation with the ANBU and Konoha Military Police in information regarding the Akatsuki and the fact that he had never tried to escape even once. Even so, ordinarily a traitor would be killed on site.

Damn it! Yet another reason Sasuke owed that jackass Kakashi!

It was difficult to say whether Itachi looked the part of an S-rank ANBU criminal or not. He wasn't particularly tall or imposing at first glance. In fact he was generally considered short, Sasuke and he were about the same height. Porcelain pale skin and dark hair were striking but not anything to rave about, especially considering that as an ANBU he had generally worn a mask that hid those features from view. No, it wasn't his looks that first clued someone in to the fact that perhaps this was a dangerous person to be around.

Part of it was his demeanor. That self-assured cool calmness that came from being able to kill just about anyone who might get it into their heads that they didn't like you. It was that lack of fear. A certain dead, unresponsiveness to the eyes: the eyes of a killer. Partly it was the unconcerned expression that never left his face. Itachi rarely showed emotion, he was simply dark and forbidding. Even now, Sasuke had no words to describe this feeling that Itachi emanated. It wasn't hostility, and it wasn't evil. There was no sense of intent to it at all. It simply was. Sasuke had always thought that Itachi moved with the most graceful, elegant motions he'd ever seen. And even after seeing Kakashi, he still felt this to be true. Sasuke was never really certain he'd seen Kakashi move at all. Kakashi just moved like a ghost.

He still thought his brother moved lithely, even as he was pushed into the room, hands and legs shackled and chakra inhibiting seals cast on his restraints. Sasuke might have told him that acting like nothing was wrong tended to piss off the other ANBU, but Itachi would have asked him how he was supposed to act and Sasuke wouldn't have known what to say.

The ANBU that came in with Itachi made sure that the criminal was shackled to the chair (which in turn was bolted to the floor) before exiting the room. Sasuke wasn't fooled, however. The ANBU were watching them remotely via electronic equipment and the mirrors which were only one-way. This was not of course mentioning the two guards each outside both doors. They weren't really alone. They were never really alone.

Silence.

Sasuke cracked a rare smile for his brother, "Konnichiwa, Onii-san," Sasuke said.

Itachi dipped his head slightly, his own soft smile, even more infrequent than his younger brother's, gracing his face. "Sasuke-kun, Konnichiwa," he said. And as if a door had been unlocked in the man's heart, the shadowy darkness melted away from his aura. Itachi the treasonous, massacring ninja melted away, leaving just Itachi: loving big-brother.

"Guess who our ANBU-sensei is," Sasuke immediately ordered. Maybe his original intention had been to get dirt on Kakashi-sensei, but a man had to have his priorities, after all and despite the fact that he wasn't too thrilled with his impression of Kakashi thus far, he knew his brother would be excited about it, (for some reason, Itachi really liked Kakashi), and Sasuke couldn't help but crack a slight smirk, and watch the older male intently for his reaction.

"I don't know, Sasuke-kun," Itachi supplied easily, expression and voice still dull, but the chunin knew the former ANBU's attention had been gained. One wouldn't ordinarily be able to discern this, but as his brother, Sasuke had a form of intuition when it came to Itachi that could only be gained through a close familial relationship. In other words, they were brothers, so Sasuke could just _tell_.

Sasuke smirked good-naturedly at Itachi's answer. His sibling knew Sasuke wouldn't just give the information to him that easily. He had to work for it. "I know you can do better than that," he told his Aniki.

Itachi sighed in a breath so shallow Sasuke mightn't have noticed it if he wasn't watching. "I really do have to guess then," he said more than asked and Sasuke heard a tinge of amusement enter his usually monotonous voice. They were playing a game, both of them, and this being so, neither was actually surprised at each other's responses no matter what an outside observer might determine from mere surveillance.

"Yep," Sasuke confirmed. The slight sneer that spread across his face and the mocking tone to his voice as he leveled his eyes on the man across from him was for theatrics alone but he knew Itachi would find those entertaining as well, despite what such behavior would normally mean about his thoughts and feelings. No, there was only affection in his heart for his brother.

A slight smirk of Itachi's own tugged at his lips and one could see that if he weren't so controlling of his expressions, than he would have mirrored his sibling as to appear identical to him. They were both enjoying each other's company, enjoying the little guessing game, simple that it was.

Itachi's eyes broke contact with Sasuke's and his gaze slid downward, finally landing on the table as he began to think upon the task Sasuke had set him. He was seriously considering who Sasuke could be alluding to, and he remained silent, allowing his brother to consider.

Oh man, he had to get this. It was just so ironic. Ironic in, like, five directions. This was of course assuming that irony was a vector quantity…but whatever.

A moment of thought and Itachi inquired, "Am I allowed clues?"

Sasuke almost laughed, but that would have given it away. No, his face remained perfectly neutral, as he answered: "Nope," with nary a stray breath or quickening of the pulse to give away his anticipation. Not a one.

"Questions?" Itachi queried again.

"None." Sasuke felt like he'd bust. For some reason he just wanted to laugh. He couldn't really understand why he thought this was so funny; he just did.

Itachi frowned slightly, and tilted his head at Sasuke in that annoying way that Sasuke had noticed that almost all ANBU did. Did they all get trained to do it? To rotate their heads at the perfect forty-five degree angle? If Kakashi tried to make him learn that, he'd tell the psycho to go screw a tree.

His sibling sighed again, this time louder as if he were frustrated at all the rules and lack of information sharing. "How many guesses am I allowed?" Itachi asked almost poutily (for Itachi, anyways). Sasuke couldn't even remember Itachi ever pouting even when he was, like, three. And everyone pouted when they were three. Even Sasuke, though he'd never admit to it.

Really, it would have been Itachi's own fault if Sasuke had said 'one'. It should have been obvious. It was like that elephant in the room that you didn't acknowledge, because why the hell would there be an elephant there in the first place? Obviously there wouldn't be one, so logically it couldn't be an elephant taking up all the space in your room.

Except that it was an elephant—er, Kakashi…type-thingy…

"As many as you want, but it should only take one," Sasuke told him, trying not to think about elephants. Ha, now Itachi would be pressured to answer in a single guess! Sometimes Sasuke marveled at his own genius.

Itachi's eyes narrowed, "I see…" he said dispassionately, (which actually translated into something like an indignant, "Oh, come _on_!"). Itachi quieted and frowned slightly in thought for a moment longer without giving a name.

Sasuke fought not to change expressions. It was just that the answer was so easy! So obvious! So…elephant-like.

Itachi looked back at Sasuke and tilted his head (Again. Itachi knew that irritated him. Sasuke presumed it must be revenge for giving him a hard time about this guessing thing.) He seemed to see something there because his face went even blanker than usual and murmured, "No…but he doesn't take students anymore…"

Sasuke didn't even bother to get mad at himself for giving things away. He couldn't help it: he snickered. "Well, he took three this morning. At once," he told his brother, with an unsuppressed half-smirk, half-smug-grin.

Surprisingly, Itachi smiled back, "It makes me glad," he admonished, "I would never have expected him to take you three as students (!)" He hadn't actually said the statement in a tone that required an exclamation, but Sasuke could tell that Itachi was excited. Very excited. It just disserved the notation.

Of course, Itachi's apparent enthusiasm didn't take away the meaning behind the words he'd said, and frankly Sasuke was insulted.

"Why is it so hard to believe?" Sasuke asked, his demeanor suddenly indignant. Kakashi should be _happy_ to have them as students. He should be fucking ecstatic! "What's wrong with us?" he demanded to know.

Itachi actually looked surprised. Well, obviously he hadn't meant his earlier statement as an insult. Sometimes Sasuke wished he didn't have a brother that was so difficult to interpret. Even if it was sort of a fun pastime of Sasuke's to try and figure his sibling out.

Frowning slightly, Itachi spoke in a voice that could be considered anger-filled by anyone's standards, not just Itachi's. "_Nothing_ is wrong with you," he declared definitively.

Now Itachi was the one who was sounding insulted. Sasuke couldn't really place why, though. Maybe insulted on Sasuke's behalf, perhaps? Itachi had always been rather protective of him…

"It is only…" Itachi began, his calm immediately restored, as he shifted his eyes to meet Sasuke's and held his siblings gaze steadily. Even knowing there was no hostility being directed at him, Itachi's stare was intense and upsetting to meet for long periods of time but Sasuke didn't look away.

"Confronting you three," he continued, "most especially together, would be exceedingly difficult for Kakashi-sempai. For this reason, I would never have expected him to agree to take any of you as students."

…eh? If Sasuke hadn't been frowning already, he would have done so now, so instead he just frowned deeper. "Why would it be hard for him?" he argued. "That's a lame excuse." The more he found out about Kakashi, the more he disliked the bastard.

"There is a lot of history involved…" Itachi said by way of an explanation, but as is in the way of ANBU explanations, it explained nothing of the kind.

"You're being cryptic," he accused his brother and Itachi responded, turning his head away from Sasuke in a rather telling way. Itachi turned his head away when he found a subject uncomfortable. Sasuke was one of the few people who knew this.

Itachi didn't like this subject, huh? Now Kakashi was getting in between Sasuke and his brother! He was already screwing up his life and he had just barely met the jerk!

"What history," he demanded of his brother, (he was sure as hell he hadn't any history with Kakashi and definitely wouldn't want to. He hated that guy. He _hated_ him!) "I think we'd know if there was history between us and Kakashi-sensei."

Itachi just shook his head slightly. Fuck if Sasuke knew what that meant. He hated secrets. Secrets were the source of everything bad in his entire life.

"Come on Aniki…" Sasuke continued to pester. Why the heck was Itachi being so irritating about this? Kakashi must have threatened him or something. Why else wouldn't he tell his own brother? What else could it be?

Itachi sighed (Itachi was sighing a lot today) as he focused his attention on Sasuke's image through one of the single-way mirrors. "I know that Kakashi-sempai would be very unhappy, were I to discuss this with you…"

Yeah, because I _so_ cared what that ass Kakashi feels, Sasuke thought sarcastically. He couldn't see why Itachi was so damn loyal to that lazy-pervert. Why did Itachi like him so much? He was taking his side over his own brother's!

"So? Tell me anyway," the chunin insisted angrily.

Itachi lowered his face even as he looked away, and it appeared to Sasuke as if he were hiding. Hiding from some horrific truth. A truth that he wouldn't tell his own brother!

Sasuke's frown deepened. Itachi was keeping a secret from him. It felt like…like a betrayal.

Itachi shook his head again, and Sasuke had the feeling if he could have looked away any further from Sasuke without breaking his neck or turning backwards in his chair, he would have. He was probably trying to avoid the growing look of pure wrath that had supplanted itself on his brother's face.

"No," Itachi said, "Kakashi-sempai—"

Grr! It was that Hatake-fucking-Kakashi's fault! He was doing this! Him and his fucking secrets! Sasuke suddenly growled, interrupting as he jumped up in his seat to confront his sibling, "Why the hell do you look up to him so much?" he furiously demanded to know from his brother, but Itachi didn't answer. That was okay, Sasuke wasn't done yet.

He huffed angrily and got up from his chair to pace the little bit of open space in the tiny room, "Why do you listen to that guy? Who cares what the hell he says!"

Silence.

"Just admit it! You like him more than you like me. You'd rather have him as a brother than me!" Sasuke yelled.

"Sasuke, that's just stupid—" Itachi said calmly trying to meet Sasuke's eyes, but his little brother wouldn't look at him. Sasuke just wouldn't.

"He's keeping secrets from us, did you know?" Sasuke said almost desperately as he viciously paced, throwing his hands around wildly. "He's probably keeping secrets from you, too! And that guy…I hate him but he…he could probably walk straight up to someone and gut them…and…and they wouldn't even notice him!"

"He can, I've seen it," Itachi informed him, and Sasuke when right on talking.

"There, you see? He's freaking dangerous!" the chunin declared, ignoring the fact that when it came right down to it, most of the people in his city was dangerous. Because come on, it _was_ a shinobi village. "_And_ he's a psycho. Did you know that? A loony!" Sasuke added.

"I've known about Kakashi-sempai's condition for some time…" Itachi said absently and his eyes drifted off in that way that showed someone was trying to find something to entertain himself. He didn't seem to be paying any attention to Sasuke, and that only made the younger boy angrier.

He was just so calm about all of it. So fucking calm! Just like that ass-fuck! "He's a lazy-dick!" Sasuke practically screamed, he just had to make Itachi understand that Kakashi was bad-news. "And he reads those trashy books! And he makes up the most ridiculous lies, just to-to mock people! _Namely me_!"

Itachi smirked—he actually _smirked_!—as is reminiscing about something that Sasuke's comment had reminded him of. "That's probably true," he stated airily.

"God fucking-DAMN! Stop AGREEING!" Sasuke shrieked. He was tossing a fit, he knew, but he couldn't help himself. Itachi was all he had, and…and no one could take him away, certainly not Kakashi, he just couldn't!

Sasuke stood in the room, his anger receding and leaving him in despair, as he breathed heavily and shook slightly from the adrenaline coursing through his system.

"Sasuke. Sit down." Itachi demanded coldly.

Sasuke did. He flopped down bonelessly and tried to ooze into the seat as he avoided meeting Itachi's eyes.

"Sasuke-kun, look at me."

"No." he whined, crossing his arms over his chest and pointedly looking away. He was being petty, he knew, but he couldn't help it.

"Sasuke," Itachi said again even more firmly, and Sasuke finally looked up, before immediately being caught by Itachi's gaze. Not cold and unreachable, like Kakashi-sensei's grey-eyed stare, nor even like Itachi's usual empty look. No, his eyes seemed to go a million miles deep and Sasuke sunk down to find a hidden warmth hidden beneath the dark surface.

"Sasuke-kun, you are my brother," Itachi told him. "I will always care for you. First, most and best. Wakarimasu?"

"Wakarimasu." Sasuke answered and sat up in his chair a little straighter. And no: he wasn't crying, damn it!

"Sasuke-kun. Kakashi-sempai trusted that I wouldn't tell this information to anyone. No—don't say anything—I do trust you, but I promised not to give up this information. I know you hate secrets, I shouldn't have said anything, but I know you can appreciate trust, and Kakashi-sempai trusted me not to tell."

"Yeah…" Sasuke said sulkily. There was a mutual silence, but Sasuke felt the need to explain himself to his brother. "It's just that…" he began again after a moment, "Naruto and Sakura and I are trying to figure out what the hell's going on with Kakashi and, well, he says all this crap, like he knows what we're going through, and…I really want to believe him, even though I know its all shit. It pisses me off that he'd say all this stuff and make Naruto and Sakura all hopeful and then if he were to turn around and just…" Sasuke sighed dejectedly. "You know what I'm talking about, right?"

"I think I do," Itachi admitted, smiling wryly. "I used to feel similarly, at first."

He had? For as long as Sasuke could remember it had always been Kakashi-sempai this and Kakashi-sempai that. He'd thought Itachi had always looked up to Kakashi-sensei. "What changed your mind?" Sasuke asked interestedly, wanting to know.

Itachi took on a slightly sad visage, "I realized that Kakashi-sempai really did care," he said. "Everything he told me to do, everything he taught me was to that end. When I look back, I think that if I had understood that sooner, things would be different, now."

He couldn't stop himself from asking it. "Different? How?"

"I wouldn't be in a cell, for one, I'd be with you. Perhaps Orochimaru wouldn't have escaped or even been able to attack Konoha at all. You wouldn't have gone with him. Maybe I'd have my own genin team or an ANBU Kohai. I think that I would like that very much. Kakashi-sempai's condition mightn't be what it is. Any number of things might change because of that single decision on my part."

"Our clan…" Sasuke murmured fatally. That must be the decision he was talking about. Murdering their clan…

"No," Itachi contradicted, much to Sasuke's surprise.

The chunin frowned slightly, "Then what—?"

"For thinking that I was alone." Itachi corrected. "For refusing to ask for help. Not going to Konoha, or Sandaime or Kakashi-sempai. And then not taking responsibility for my actions, for running away: that was my true-mistake. The one thing that Kakashi-sempai tried to impress upon me the most and I brushed it aside so easily…if I had just gone to someone..."

Sasuke didn't know what to say. Most of the way he had reacted earlier was from an emotional day that brought back memories of Mizuki and how his brother, the only person he really cared about besides Naruto and Sakura, had seemed to favor his former teacher over Sasuke; a loss that he wouldn't have been able to bear. But to think that something Kakashi had taught Itachi could have changed their entire lives…it was strange.

"What really saddens me is Kakashi-sempai feels that it is his fault," Itachi added. "That he didn't teach me well enough. He thinks that he failed me."

It shocked him. "He told you that?" Sasuke asked. Kakashi thought it was his fault? When he had had nothing to do with the situation? That was just…it didn't make any sense. And more than that, it totally blew off Sasuke's idea that Kakashi was a jack-ass that didn't actually care about anyone. Of course if he'd been paying attention, he'd have noticed that Kakashi had said as much himself in his little speech. He'd told them that he cared. But that was just lies, wasn't it?

"Yes, he did," Itachi confirmed with a nod. "He's even apologized to me for it multiple times."

"He still comes to see you a lot, doesn't he?" It wasn't really a question. Sasuke already knew that Kakashi visited Itachi.

"More, recently, since he's been placed on leave," was the response. Itachi: ever the conversationalist.

Damn it… "So…you think I should give him a shot?" Sasuke asked his brother wearily.

"If there's anyone you should '_give a shot'_, it would be Kakashi-sempai," Itachi said, and Sasuke might have frowned at him if he didn't trust his brother's opinion so much. He sounded so sure of himself. Of Kakashi.

It occurred to Sasuke that Itachi should really know, as he had been under the man's tutelage for a year and then his subordinate for longer than that. Not to mention a frequent visitee all these years in prison…

"This doesn't mean I'm going to be nice to him," Sasuke warned his brother.

"Of course," Itachi said simply as if it were a given. With Sasuke it pretty much was. He wasn't really nice to anyone but his teammates and his brother. And even that was sort of an off and on thing.

Sasuke finally sighed, and asked, "Well, can you give me any dirt on the guy that isn't forbidden? We're conducting an investigation here."

Itachi's cheek twitched slightly as if he wanted to laugh. Sasuke didn't really appreciate this opinion of his and his teammate's hard work, but he didn't say anything and just waited silently as Itachi tilted his head as if thinking. "Kakashi-sempai is rather secretive in regards to his past," he said after a moment.

_Good one, Bro. I kind of already knew that…_ Sasuke scowled, "You tell me to trust the bastard and then you turn around and say he's got secrets. Not a good way to endear me to him. Quite the opposite, actually."

"He's not keeping them in order to hide the information from others," Itachi told him calmly, "But rather to hide it from himself."

"…nani?" Now that just made no sense. It sounded deep and all, but, yeah…right over his head.

Itachi frowned slightly, turning his head at one angle, then another, as if trying to think how he was going to phrase his next words. "You seem to be aware of his condition…" he finally began.

"Sakura-chan is part of some kind of doctor-team they're assigning Kakashi to so she has his medical records," Sasuke explained.

This answer seemed to clarify things for his Aniki, "I see," Itachi said, "Well, then you'll know that his experiences and memories aggravate his condition and perhaps even facilitated it."

That sounded kind of familiar. "Yeah," Sasuke agreed. He knew a lot about anatomy and could do just about anything that didn't require surgery. Most ninja could. But it wasn't his favorite subject on the planet and he tended to ignore medical related chatter, even from Sakura. Plus, big words gave him headaches. But don't tell anyone.

"How do you know all this stuff?" he asked his brother curiously.

"Kakashi-sempai has been suffering from this…" another one of those considering pauses, "disorder for a long time."

_Now_ he was getting somewhere.

"Since before you met him?" Sasuke asked calculatedly, listening intently for some sort of revelation to pop out of his brother's mouth; hidden in his words.

"Yes."

Sasuke tried to calculate how long Itachi had known Kakashi, but for some reason he couldn't remember how old he was when Itachi started in ANBU. He settled on saying: "That's…a long time." Vague, but true.

Itachi nodded, "Yes. Over eight years."

Eight years, damn. And he was only now getting major treatment? He wasn't a qualified med-nin, but eight years seemed like a damn long time to Sasuke. What did this mean? Sakura had said Kakashi's symptoms were psychologically oriented. Had something happened to stimulate Kakashi's disorder? It was another mystery.

"He had a seizure today," Sasuke felt the need to inform his brother.

Itachi sighed, and shrugged, "I'm not surprised. Dealing with all three of you today, it's practically choreographed to insight a major symptom. What kind was it?"

Kinds? There were kinds? Had Sakura said something about that? "Well, he fell on the ground…" Sasuke trailed.

"Hn. Sasuke-kun I know you don't particularly like Kakashi-sempai," (Ha. That was the understatement of the century…), "And therefore don't feel obligated to treat him in a respectable manner, but if you see him staring off into space a lot, would you lay off him?"

"Staring off into space? He does that like all—"

The door behind Itachi abruptly opened and two ANBU entered the room: time was up.

"Sayonara, Sasuke-kun. Remember what I've said, won't you?" Itachi told Sasuke, as the ANBU pulled him rudely out the door, as soon as he had been unshackled.

The white door in front of him closed and the one behind him opened. He sighed as he got up and left the room…

…and walked right into the object of his hatred, one Hatake Kakashi.

Fuck.

--

**Thank you all for reviewing, I love you guys! **

**Amsuhl **and **Wylan, **does this count as soon? Ah! I actually had a lot of this done for ages, but it wasn't working out right, than I rearranged something and it actually works now, so here it is! Also, thank you, **Anonymous**, for reading!

**Hriza**, it's going to stay Kakashi-centric, no worries there, but it also focuses quite a bit on Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto and Iruka as well. The main focus is basically Kakashi and how he has ties to all of them in the past. And yeah, I've been called the Queen of Angst before, and I'm aware that sometimes all that dark-ness can get heavy and dreary and hard to get through, so I like to intersperse it comedy. To be honest, I probably couldn't not put that stuff in if I tried, I'm a sucker for a good laugh. And** uniquewriter **I'm also glad you like the comedy and angstiness. **Deviliscious **w00t! You're welcome to the angst party over here! Enjoy!

**Tampoposensei** yes, spelling. It's very hard to get rid of every spelling error in a +11,000 word chapter, especially after I've read the thing a billion times. Even when I think I've scoured a fic to within an inch of its life I still see things later, when I go back to read it on the web (and I swear to god, uploading it causes errors. They are usually like deleting a random space between words, but errors none the less, I've seen it!) I try my best. Thank you very much for your encouragement! Man, you make me sound like such a great writer. Like I said, I try my best and when you guys give me such praise it really makes me feel warm and fuzzy!

**Kiralie** will he agree? You'll have to find out. How long was Iruka a Tokubetsu Jounin? By my calculations, roughly four or five years, although part of that time he was substituting at the academy. I have a timeline and everything so I don't mix this stuff up and make myself sound look _too_ much of an idiot. Thank you for reading!


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